Was DH being unreasonable?

[smileygrapefruit]

DH just walked to the shop for a few bits, got to the check out and said "Morning love, crazy weather out there!" She refused to serve him because he'd called her love. For context, we're in Yorkshire where every one calls every one love, DH calls his male friends love. This will probably divide opinion on MN but I'm wondering if it served him right or whether the lady should have served him? He had to walk as we can't get the car out due to the snow and the next shop is going to be a good 40 min walk each way!

😧 Seriously, in Yorkshire. She's a bloody nutter 🤨

I think love is kind of similar to being called mate in Yorkshire. And yes, I do get the gender significance. I hate being called mate. Give me love, duck, pet any day of the week. Having lived in Yorkshire for a while, I loved being called love. Women and men did it to me. If men don’t call eachother love in quite such frequency, I don’t see it as patronising to refer to themselves as mate. Mate seems to be a more macho greeting imo, which is why I hate being called it as a woman.

Forgot to say. If she’s working in Yorkshire on the till and won’t serve someone for calling her love she’s in the wrong job. She needs to go and work alone in some back office in a shed in the middle of the dales with no communication channels because that’s the only way she will avoid being called love. Personally, knowing the cultural significance there, I would complain.

So how did the conversation actually go?

Him: Morning love, crazy weather out there!
Her: .........

I'm a supermarket cashier, and have been called stupid (for politely pointing out that the shopper with a loaded trolley was at the baskets only till) and nasty (for refusing to hurry along a shopper at the self scan because the second person wanted that particular one, there were several others empty), and am routinely completely ignored when I greet customers. OP please hug your DH from me, he's one of the good guys!

My uncle is a “cock” or “cocker” greeting.
I didn’t notice till I introduced him to my southern DH

She needs to get a grip. Here in Stoke, it’s shug (as in sugar), or duck. You wouldn’t get through the day without it!

Personally I hate being called love, hun, darling etc. However - I don’t make a thing of it and would never refuse to serve someone. It’s said in a well intended way - it’s not like it’s swearing!

Yes, Sarah. It's ironic that the people most inclined to tell posters who disagree with them to eff off or 'stop talking that misogynist shit' are the ones getting outraged about strangers spreading the love. Yes, sometimes it's used in a patronising way, but on the overwhelming majority of occasions it's not. They must be tin-eared not to be able to tell the difference.

Interesting n word mentions on here. Sigh

I’ve worked many customer service roles, and have frequently been called much worse! Also, I was called ‘Madam’ the other day for the first time ever - yuck; I appreciate I’m no longer a spring chicken (40), but the man who said it was at least 20 years older than me! 😆

I was chuffed to be called guvnor when on holiday in Essex!

I hate when men I don't know call me love, hun, etc but it seems like a massive over reaction on her part not to serve him because of it

found the lover thing from sw ish? a bit weird as that is not usual here. more used to duck, though not round here. love it when I am called duck as it reminds me of where I grew up. and when I visit back home called it all the time in shops is great.

love here can be used as an insult. so maybe she is from round here.

Re: where in Yorkshire I've heard men referring to other men as "love" - all over. I've heard it in Leeds, Wakefield, Barnsley, Doncaster, Harrogate, Bradford, Ikley...

I’ve heard it Sheffield, Doncaster, Barnsley, Rotherham, Retford, Mexborugh, Penistone and plenty more

ScabbyAbby you don't sound like you're originally from the North East either,nearly everyone from here use terms like love,pet,sweetheart,lover,duck,pet lamb,the list goes on,I love it!!,one woman that works in a shop local to me in the North East uses most of them to me and every time she serves me I'm guaranteed to come out of that shop with a big smile on my face,she's so nice!!!,I've also been called some of them by men as well and it's also nice,its just people being friendly that's all,unless it's said in a nasty tone then why be all "I'm not your love,don't call me love"?,it's a stranger being nice to you,you're probably not even going to see them again,no need to be so rude😳

Ginnotginger You obviously hail from my area... My Dad always called me Chick - even when writing letters and postcards - and I call all my DC Chick. I've got an elderly friend who calls all women 'Me wench' - and it's a traditional term, so no-one ever objects.

My hairdresser calls me 'sweetie' Should I lamp him one?

Surely in this hellish weather we're having the least of anyone's troubles is being called 'love', 'my love', 'hen', 'mate'...

Round here the standard greeting is 'ello my loverrrr'. She probably would have called the police for that one.

I get called Treacle. I kinda like it.

Have loved reading all the different words used in different parts of the country. I do think us Yorkshire folk are super friendly and this is genuinely the first time I have ever heard of anyone taking it in any other way than it was meant. DH pleased that the majority of responses agree that she was being a fruitloop and he doesn't need to try censor his Yorkshire root language! He was brought up by his grandad who was the most Yorkshire man I have ever met, DH often had to translate for me as it was almost another language to me!