Neighbour wants me to take her to shops.

[SugarPlumLairy]

So... school is closed, our road got gritted two days ago but it seems to have all gone with yesterday's snow, so now so we're all properly snowed in and iced up with an amber warning for further snow.

Just let dog into garden (we are not going to park in this weather!) and NDN has popped out and said she really needs to go shop and can I take her? Now.

Her husband drives, not sure if he has gone to work as trains have been disrupted, we aren't far from shops, normally I will drop her off but..... in THIS weather? I feel awful for saying no but don't fancy slipping/sliding past the double parked cars for a loaf of bread (ok prob a bit more than a loaf).

AIBU, I mumbled no sorry and at that point dog shot back in having had the world's fastest pee, she didn't say anything just looked shocked/upset ? And I'm holed up watching the snow still coming down and feeling like evil cow for resigning NDN to slow cold death by starvation as I wouldn't take her to shops 🙄😱

So am I Evil Monster (EM) or is she CF ?

Tell your CF brother to get a fucking taxi! - one previous snow day, my Dp as asked by a colleague to go and collect her from a village further out. She couldn't get in because the trains were off, the buses weren't running and she couldn't get a taxi.... because of the snow! She thought it would be fine for him to drive to collect her for work, for some reason the snow wouldn't affect him?

In what way way OP not civil? No is a complete answer and perfectly 'civil'. No reason or excuse is needed.

Sheer curiosity, can someone explain what's the joke about "y pysgod dysgu "? According to Google, it translates as "the fish learned".

@SurburbanRhonda

“Getting annoyed” is understandable if someone asks you to do something for them and you don’t have the courage to say no. But working yourself up into such a state over it seems an unnecessary waste of energy.

You don't get out much do you?

or engage in many conversations with many people.

Probably don't engage in - or have an opinion on anything eh?

Not everyone is the same.

You will realise that one day.

💗💗 Riv💗💗 Thankyou! Also lilac clouds and itsuaddict, this song has been driving me mad for years! Brilliant 👍 Some good has come from today after all. 😄

I have been looking forfootprints ( I have no life and Tv is crap😂) and no one has left their house so they at least had breakfast supplies 👍

To be fair there has been a quitea lot of requests for help and for the most part I've been happy/able to help in the past but this morning just took me by surprise as being unreasonable given ourvery obvious weather androad conditions.

I am off to find Welsh translations and sing sardine songs, hope you all have a safe warm day with no Cfuckery to spoil it 👍

You don't get out much do you?

or engage in many conversations with many people. wink

Probably don't engage in - or have an opinion on anything eh?

Not everyone is the same.

You will realise that one day.

You’re funny.

OP what other favours do they ask? Yes I'm being nosey

To be fair there has been a quitea lot of requests for help and for the most part I've been happy/able to help in the past but this morning just took me by surprise as being unreasonable given ourvery obvious weather androad conditions.

Stop being so helpful! They see you as a mug! Do they ever offer to help you?

Addict your DH was probably singing the Welsh version of it, as a pp said it translates as "the fish learned".

Riverside2, just usual neighbourly things, take in parcels, babysat their boy when he was younger (he is nice lad, used to play on his tablet for most part but sometimes difficult when he and DD have not much in common and NDN was invariably much later than expected), we had their hamster for two weeks while they were on holiday but not enough bedding or food for its duration, lots of lifts, I'll take her with me if I'm doing a big shop, there was a period of time where I seemed to get sucked into school runs (different school to my DD!) not even sure how that happened! It was just one day, then a couple due to illness, then bad weather made it better if I could pick him up. It stopped after she asked me to pick him up from an after school sports club a couple of times when we were already home for the afternoon. It was just too disruptive for DD .

Hmmm.... writing it out starts to make me see the entitlement and my part in allowing it 😔 I need to be more assertive , better boundaries.

Sugar, sorry to say but they've been taking you for a ride. Unless all these 'usual neighbourly things' have been reciprocal, of course.

Not unreasonable at all. We've all had plenty of warning that the weather was going to be bad. No excuse for not having prescriptions etc.

I do think that you could pop around and see if it was something specific she needed that perhaps you could lend (e.g. some bread).

She's not going to starve. If her DH is there then he can take her, if he's gone to work then she can phone him and get him to pick stuff up on the way back.

If you're snowed in, what was she expecting? You to get your snow plough out?

Hopefully their recent and blatant CFuckery is the turning point in you not helping them out anymore. They've taken the piss too long.

GnotherGnu it isn't a welsh song in any way. It just happens that the welsh DH has misheard the lyrics and thought they were singing "the fish learned" which given that it would sort of fit with the song is logical to an infant child but funny nonetheless, particularly when he has then gone on to teach it to his children as being a welsh song.

Cherry MaDeary, you've been spot on previously and I think you're right now too.
There's not really been offers of help but not sure there is much they can do if that makes sense? They can't drive me anywhere, they looked after my DD once but despite it being a very brief time (much needed hospital appointment) and I was very clear "she won't eat here so don't worry, and please let her sit quietly with book, you do t need to entertain her" they tried to have her join them for lunch and play a board game, it was grim😔.
They aren't bad people, I think they just got used to me being around if they needed something. I've said no in the past but it was the look on her face this morning at being told "sorry no" . I just felt sort of cornered, and when I went round to explain she was guilt tripping me which seemed excessive and "new". I feel like I slipped on ice and slid from "friend" territory to "mug" territory ☹️
Well.... I know now I guess.

In answer to you original post, yanbu and i'd also be careful of doing too many favours because it will be expected and no one wants to be a mug. The husband lying in bed bit: the cheek

OP " just usual neighbourly things"

no, that list is not usual neighbourly things unless you are mates and have reciprocal arrangements. I'm guessing they do nothing for you?

OP "They aren't bad people, I think they just got used to me being around if they needed something. "

Oh dear
take your rose coloured glasses off

they took the piss out of you in the first place asking for all that when they can do it all themselves!

' not even sure how that happened! '

Because you're a mug. No more favours. Oh, and the poster who speculated that they wouldn't offer you a bean if you wrecked your car taking her lazy arse to the shops is spot on. Need to start telling them NO.

I'm all for helping neighbours and being community minded but in this situation your neighbours are seriously cheeky feckers!

Have they gone out in it for shopping or is the car still there?

NDN was invariably much later than expected

there was a period of time where I seemed to get sucked into school runs

WTF, both of those are severe CFery on their own!

A classic CF tbh

Yep, classic CF @tomorrow!

@riverside2

no, that list is not usual neighbourly things unless you are mates and have reciprocal arrangements. I'm guessing they do nothing for you?

Probably not. Cheeky fuckers like the OP's neighbours NEVER do anything for anyone else

I'm all for helping neighbours and being community minded but in this situation your neighbours are seriously cheeky feckers!

Exactly! As I said earlier, I am happy to help anyone in desperate need, or in an emergency, but I am not willing to be a daft mug who does 10 mile round-trips in the weather (that we have been told to NOT go out in,) to get someone a loaf and a carton of milk.

Had too many cheeky fuckers in my life before. I don't tolerate it now.

The last neighbourhood I lived in, the couple me and DH got (regrettably,) friendly with, used to text us to take them to the doctors and the dentists - even though they could drive! (coz we had nothing better to do evidently!)

And they even turned up on our doorstep at NINE in the morning on Valentine's Day one time (when it was at the weekend.) They woke us, and got us out of bed, and asked us if we had a couple of eggs they could have for breakfast!

They even had the cheek to say 'may as well pop in for a coffee while we're here eh?' I actually said 'sorry NO. We have just been woken by you knocking, and haven't even had a shower or anything yet. We are not even awake yet.'

Could have fucking murdered them.

I think they could tell I was annoyed, as they looked a bit That was the straw that broke the camel's back. We started to say 'no' a lot more after that.