I don't know how I feel about abortion anymore

[sirlee66]

I've always been very pro-choice. A woman's body. A woman's right to choose.

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first and now I think my thoughts are changing.

I believe the cut off is 24 weeks? There was a lovely lady on here the other day whose waters broke and she gave birth to a baby girl at 25 weeks! If a baby can survive that early... It just seems...wrong!

Maybe the cut off could be lowered. I started feeling flutters at about 15 weeks so maybe before then.

I don't know what the answer is. I still feel really strongly that ultimately, the mother should decide but I just can't get past babies surviving outside the womb at the same age as a baby that could be aborted.

Maybe it's just pregnancy hormones. I also can't stop think about the poor women who have to make that decision. It must be so awful and I just want to give them a big hug.

I guess my question is, AIBU to not really know how I feel about it?

It's a very difficult thing to have opinions about because, in that sort of situation, none of the "solutions" is ideal really.

I think really it is something that needs to be dealt with flexibility depending on the mother's situation and views. What might be right for one woman at so many weeks might no be for another woman at the same. I guess it is a weighing up the positives and negatives.

Most pro choice people feel the same.

I'm going to suggest you do a little research into the reasons why someone might request a termination so late before you start with the moral judgements.

I expect that almost all abortions post 20 weeks occur because of bad news at the 20week scan. Women aren’t having them on a whim.

Late terminations are very rare. And usually for a pretty serious reason.

Nobody is pro-abortion remember, just pro-choice.

My ds 's best mate and his gf are having a late termination (after 24 weeks as they just found out apparently). I had to ask ds to stop mentioning it tbh.

I don’t people get as far as 24 weeks and just decide to have an abortion. So I wouldn’t worry so much about the “surviving outside the womb” concerns.

Yadnbu.
The limit needs to be lowered to 12 weeks at the latest, ideally 8-10.

I started feeling flutters at about 15 weeks so maybe before then.

Why on earth would the abortion law be changed based on when you felt flutters?! you do realise that people don’t have an abortion because they haven’t felt any “flutters”. Flutters really has very little bearing on the reasons a person chooses to end a pregnancy. It’s usually based on slightly more consequential things like money, relationships, health, circumstances. Flutters indeed

April, I could be wrong but think your dad might have got it wrong? I think 24 weeks is the cut off, unless the baby is severely disabled.

Sorry not dad. DS

The problem is that everyone focusses on that date, 24 weeks. The reality is that the vast majority of abortions take place in the very early stages of pregnancy. About 80% happen before 10 weeks and something like 10% after 15 weeks.

24 weeks is there for exceptional circumstances, to focus on it is to misunderstand what really happens.

Terminations past 20 weeks are about 1 to 1.5% of the total number. And virtually all of them are performed because at the 20 week scan, the baby is found to have a condition incompatible with life. So for the vast majority of late term abortions, the woman's choice is to terminate a much wanted child or to go through with the pregnancy and deliver a baby who has no real chance at life.

I had a friend who was forced to make this choice - an amnio showed her baby would die at birth. Due to delays, she had the termination at 26 weeks. It was heartbreaking.

Anyone wanting to lower the limit to 8-10 weeks (when it is perfectly possible not to know you are pregnant) is condemning women like my friend to months of misery.

Yanbu, 24 weeks is too late! If it’s still an option people will still do it or not rush to.
I think the cut off should be 14 weeks, 24 weeks in place only for severe medical issues with the fetus and maybe 20 weeks for mothers with cancer.

A friend had an abortion, which took nearly a month to arrange, she found out at 8 weeks and was 16 by the time she went (and had to have surgical), it affected her quite badly as she'd started feeling flutters.
I think if she had been able to get it under 10 weeks (& medical) it would have been far better for her mental health.

Ooh! I got that a little wrong...

92% of abortions were carried out at under 13 weeks gestation, 80% were at under 10 weeks, the same as in 2014, and compared to 67% in 2005

ONS data 2015

You can be pro choice and not like the idea of abortion. It's ok to feel this way as long as you're not trying to restrict anyone's access to abortion or telling them they're murderers etc.

My friends baby was born at 23 weeks and is now a healthy 3yo so I understand your reservations over late abortions. I believe the reason it has been left at 24 weeks is due to things that may be picked up at 20 week scan that may cause people to not wish to carry the pregnancy on and some people may not find out til later (especially young teens who can be naive re their bodies and periods).

The vast majority of abortions are carried out before 12 weeks.

Most late term terminations are as a result of finding something awful at the 20 week anomaly scan. I’m thankful we live in a country where parents have the option to spare their babies and themselves even a small amount of pain.

In an ideal world we wouldn’t need abortions but it’s not an ideal world and I won’t judge

Some women don't realise they are pregnant, some women are too traumatised to seek help early on, some women abort because of medical issues for themselves and/or the foetus.
Most women don't make the decision to abort lightly.

'My ds 's best mate and his gf are having a late termination (after 24 weeks as they just found out apparently). I had to ask ds to stop mentioning it tbh.'

Then there's a medical reason for it.

What choices other people make regarding their own bodies is none of my business. I am pro choice and have no strong feelings regarding the limit either. I refuse to believe scores of women just rock up for abortions on a whim.
Most people protesting the limit needs to be lowered have not needed to use the service offered. Protesting a service you wont use seems daft if you ask me, and that precious time thats wasted on it would be better spent championing for those unwanted children that are packed to the rafters in the care system.

I am 30 weeks but I think the opposite

Firstly, women choosing late abortions are not just doing it on a whim. It may be a decision based on heartbreaking news and you would be wise to bear that in mind.

Secondly, if pregnancy has taught me anything, it’s that you really really have to want this to be prepared to go through it, and it would be cruelty to force a woman who didn’t want to go through it

Up to 28 weeks with disability or 'mothers life at risk'.

I agree most pro-choices feel like you, I know I certainly do, yet I'd fight tooth and nail over a womens right to choose.

I do feel that with advances in medical science the cut off should be lowered to below the threshold for viability though. Obviously not for those have abortions for medical issues, which are already exempt anyway.

The truth is that that majority of abortions (80% I think) occur before 12 weeks. Those occuring later are mainly due to some people finding out later.

You are relating your feelings about abortion to your feelings about your baby which is quite understandable. Abortion is nit an easy choice but many people find themselves in a situation that they feel it is the best option. You cant control how you feel, but must respect that others, in a different place are going to feeli differently