NDN and snow and disability

[ciele]

I'm quite severely disabled as my NDN knows.
It has taken me 45 minutes and excruciating pain
Aibu to have expected some help to clear my path?

"part of a generation that does not see how helping people with small things mean a lot."

And this is absolute bollocks. Do you not see that in every age there are helpful people and unhelpful people (and people who moan that youngsters nowadays are selfish upstarts)? Really, if you start regularly talking about 'young people today' in contrast to your own sterling helpfulness, then you are the very definition of a miserable, self-righteous moaner, with to boot zero self-awareness. Not a good combination, really it isn't.

My daughter was not there-obviously!
I didn’t actually want him to clear it. I was just wondering if people in my situation expected others to help.
Clearly the answer is no.

One or two sensible people but the majority think I’m a nasty, vitriolic, ‘not sunny’, entitled, benefit cheat, not worthy of help.
Nice!

I'm a bit confused to be honest.
If I had a disabled neighbour living alone I would absolutely help to clear their drive and I say that as someone who also has disabilities.

If I saw them clearing it and struggling even if they had adults at home I would offer.

If I didn't see them and they had an adult daughter at home then I might assume the adult at home would do it. These days there are people who don't want the help.

That said your attitude on here stinks a bit and makes me wonder if that's why they didn't offer you help.

I’m not sure how you expected them to know your family weren’t in.

I never EXPECT people to help.
If they do it is wonderful and I thank them profusely but no I don't expect them to magically know I need help.

I have never been thanked for my help. I'm in a lot of pain and spent a year pulling all the flats bins out (eight of them) weekly because everyone else was too lazy to do so apart from one who worked funny hours but did help when he could no one would and if I didn't and just me then they filled my bins with their rubbish.

Not one person thanked me.
Eventually I moved my bin from the bin area, got a lock and left them to it.

One or two sensible people

You mean only one or two people agree that you neighbour should have read your mind.

You deliberately miss all the people on here who have already said they help, or would help without being asked, and the people who will help if asked, who are also saying you're coming across as really badly entitled!

This thread is an eye-opener.

We all help clear our neighbours paths. If a neighbour is elderly or disabled, we do it for them. We don't apply a "niceness in neighbour" test beforehand. Mrs K. up the road can be a bit of a pain at times but she is nearly 90 so I clear her steps for her - or one of the other neighbours do. we don't wait for her to ask.

Also, am I missing something - what did the OP say that warranted this reply for example (among others) then you are the very definition of a miserable, self-righteous moaner, with to boot zero self-awareness. Not a good combination, really it isn't.

She asked if her ndn should have helped her. What on earth did she say that was so awful to get the responses she did? I've looked at her posts. Was it the very act of asking whether a neighbour should help out another neighbour without being asked? Whatever it was it seems to have triggered some very extreme responses to her.

She asked if her ndn should have helped her.

No, she asked if she was unreasonable for expecting it (with the implication, also clear from her later posts, that her neighbour should have run out to help there and then).

I was just wondering if people in my situation expected others to help.
Clearly the answer is no

Obviously it's no. The clue is in the word expected.

Pallisers the OP has an able bodied family, people are pointing out that the neighbour would have known that and therfore not realised they needed to shovel the snow.

You don't look after your able bodied neighbours gardens do you? Especially if they're the type to moan about you on the internet to strangers.

Yes I understood that lots of people thought she was unreasonable.

Still don't understand why so many people made comments about her that were so negative.

And yes we kind of do look after our able-bodied neighbours too. My neighbour would drag my bin down my short drive if I wasn't home after collection. I do the same for them. Snow removal tends to be a neighbourly effort. I don't know if they moan about me on the internet. Mind you, neither do the OP's neighbours.

I just don't get why asking if your neighbour should help you is "an angry post" and warrants the level of sarcasm and dislike that some posters gave the OP. Still, I suppose it is AIBU. People like to give robust answers.

anxious2017 you have returned but still not managed to comprehend what I said.
And my neighbours know who is in as they frequently comment on it.
They are very nice people. As are we!
Standards of literacy are low on here.

So you didn’t want help, and you didn’t need help, yet you’re moaning that you weren’t offered help? Fucks sake OP, you’re hard work

pallisers thank you for clearing up the matter.

WeirdCatLady also back and still no understanding.

Sorry, but you have a husband and 2 daughters one of which lives at home. There is NO WAY that I would help you out when you have 2-3 other adults in your house.
You expect your neighbours to help you out when you already have help. You have a massive sense of entitlement.
Just out of interest. What is your physical ailment?

OP, if you want to convince anybody they didn’t do it for any other reason than you being an unpleasant person most people would avoid then you’re going the wrong way about it.

Ciele
From one chronic pain sufferer to another. Is it the chronic pain, that’s made you so defensive or have you always been this way?

Idontknowwindows
I was going to say the same as you. Apparently that makes two of us, who don’t understand basic English, eh?

Well to be fair you did actually manage to clear your own drive, so you were able to do it. Obviously it would have been nice of them to offer to help but was it actually necessary to clear your drive and if so why? If you were able to clear it presumably you would have been able to get over it in the snow anyway?

You are really angry ciele are you usually so furious about everything ? Oh and nobody said you were a worthless benefits scrounger not 1 person called you that except you

I still don't understand how they were supposed to just know that you needed it doing? Maybe they weren't expecting you to go out in the snow due to your severe disability? Maybe they were planning on coming around and asking you if you needed help later but then saw you had done it?
Why won't you answer any of the questions you are being asked?