NDN and snow and disability

[ciele]

I'm quite severely disabled as my NDN knows.
It has taken me 45 minutes and excruciating pain
Aibu to have expected some help to clear my path?

I have disabled neighbours on one side. If either side had rung or knocked to ask for help, I would have done it. If I'd seen them outside doing it, I would have offered to help. But I wouldnt do it otherwise. We are lucky to get on well with both neighbours. I don't think its right to expect help because you are disabled, rather that relations between you should be good enough to knock on their door & ask for help.

Oh, wow you have a shitty attitude OP! Are you expecting your neighbours to be mind-readers and know that your OH is away and that you need help? The snow wasn’t exactly a surprise, if you struggle too much then pay someone to do those tasks. I would not help someone with that kind of attitude and I reckon you are kidding yourself about being perceived as sooo nice. You come across like a passive-aggressive and incredibly unpleasant person for the great majority of the other posters. So, what if it took you 45 minutes! If you have the time, then you absolutely should try to overcome challenges. You were obviously capable of doing it albeit perhaps a bit slower than someone else! It sounds as though you were making a great show of being a martyr and expecting your NDN to rush out and are seething with resentment that you ended up having to do it yourself. Maybe, just maybe to anyone else you aren’t high on their priority.

OP wins the award for the shittiest attitude on mumsnet in recent times.

congrats

I'm guessing that a lot of the 45 minutes was probably leaning on the shovel and making 'poor me' gestures and glaring at the neighbours windows hoping they would come out. Actual shoveling time was probably closer to ten minutes.

I am disabled. My DD uses a wheelchair as well. Unless you have a previous arrangement with your NDN to clear your property, you are not only unreasonable, but acting "entitled" to expect someone to manage your property.

I live in a terraced house and no matter how hard I try I just cannot hear what my neighbours are thinking.

It's due to snow tonight though so I will dutifully sit by my front window all day tomorrow and keep a constant watch in case any of my neighbours go out and need help.

OP, what time should I start watching? Is 6am early enough? Am I allowed to take toilet breaks? I suppose I could sit on my doorstep all day and all night but it is -2 out. @ciele Could you answer these questions please because I wouldn't want any of my neighbours bitching about me!

You know what OP? I almost gave you the benefit of the doubt, but the "young and able bodied" comment made me want to slap you.

I have a spinal cord injury, my child had a stroke in her first month of life (unrelated). I do NOT expect my neighbors to manage my property - and honestly, if the word "expect" exists in your reality - you are now in the entitled mindset that cheapens those with disabilities who seek to be independent.

I support my family. I support it with wheels and with pain. I do not stare at my neighbors with expectation or disdain and expect them to manage my property... and honestly, I am furious at you who play the "I demand help" card at diminishing my independence.

I think the OP has the gist of how everyone feels. Let's not get into kicking someone while they are down. They have said they have a disability and in pain, time to give the harsh words a rest now.

You are making no sense.

Did you expect your neighbor to be sat by their window watching just in case?

Did you need to go out?

Did you ask your neighbor?

BigYupFromMe As far as I can tell the answers are: yes, don't know, no. In that order.

You are what I call a silent seether. Sitting there seethin because nobody offers to help because they should just be mind readers and know. Then get all hacked off because they dont. Most people would help including me if you had a nice attitude and asked. They probably dontwant to come over as condescending. Clearly if you were able to manage to do it yourself even though it was hard you could have knocked on and asked instead of a childish matyr like attitude which makes me switch off and ignore. Communicate and grow up a bit.

😮
Have a lovely day you lot.

All those people who are advance searching my name, ie. mentioning my DH, who I didn’t mention in this thread must be fascinated to know he was working away.
Shall I tell you when I fart?

Your attitude is the reason you received no assistance.

OP if I'd seen you out there, and we got on I would've asked if you needed a hand. But You can't expect your neighbours just to be on hand. You've not said if they saw you, if you get on etc.. so it's all a bit

I don’t even clear my own path! It’s always seemed like an unnecessary faff!

I did haul sandbags all over the place when neighbours’ houses were at risk of flooding as that actually needed doing though.

Consider the very real possibility that your ndn didn't see you clearing your path, and move on.

And well done on your achievement! When I'm in excruciating pain I wimp out and stop what I'm doing so i dont make it worse :)

This whole thread seems the sort of passive agressive thing you might expect from a parent martyring themselves.

Oh that's fine darling, if you can't come round I'll just clear the path myself. I know how busy you are. Do you mind if I put you down on my emergency bracelet as next of kin though? Just in case I happen to fall down. You know how it is with older people, we're always falling. Osteo and all that.

But if you had it from neighbour as well!

perhaps I am just old school but when I was able bodied, and lived in another house, I always cleared my elderly neighbour’s path. IMHO thats what good neighbours do.

I would agree with you OP but only IF you need your path clear eg you are house bound, and the path is a danger to you. But I wouldn't be clearing it to give the postman easy access.

But as you got past your severe disability and managed to clear it yourself in 45 mins, well done! lets hope the PIP/ESA/DLA assessor wasn't watching

If I've done my path, I'm not then going to come back outside when I have no idea you're doing yours to ask if u want me to do it. Did your neighbor know your husband was away? Did YOU offer to do your neighbors path first thing?

But as you got past your severe disability and managed to clear it yourself in 45 mins, well done! lets hope the PIP/ESA/DLA assessor wasn't watching

That's what I was thinking. I've not long been through the PIP assessment process and they would have laughed me out of the door if I said I could shovel snow. It was a battle to get it as it is, and I'm mostly bedridden at the moment. Bizarre.

If you are the kind of person who moans constantly about nobody having any manners nowadays and how superior your own upbringing was, then people will feel less inclined to help you, as a rule, than if you were non-judgemental, kind and optimistic about human nature. I'd certainly think to clear an elderly neighbours path if I was doing mine, but if they were miserable, moany and self-righteous then the chances are rather low that I'd act on the impulse!

Don't be so silly OP, having aDH is relevant to the thread even if he is away. Unless you told the NDN your DH was away then they would surely assume he would be clearing the path.

If your ndn saw u trying to clear the path then yes I would hope they would offer help as i would.but, if they didn't see you and you expect them to knock and ask then I would say yabu

I wouldn't even notice if my neighbour was out clearing their path and it wouldn't cross my mind to clear my own path, nevermind someone elses!

You sound really unhappy and angry but you're being angry with the wrong people (your neighbours and the posters on here). I've just looked at your previous posts since you mentioned them and on a post from a week or so ago you have a daughter who lives at home.

daughters who are young women (one still at home

I think you need to take out your anger at the person who lives with you and hasn't helped you clear the path. Unless she is disabled as well of course. Or away.