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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

NDN and snow and disability

295 replies

ciele · 27/02/2018 15:07

I'm quite severely disabled as my NDN knows.
It has taken me 45 minutes and excruciating pain
Aibu to have expected some help to clear my path?

OP posts:
SEsofty · 27/02/2018 15:10

We're you going out, did you need to clear the path?

Did you explicitly ask them for help and what did they say?

Sirzy · 27/02/2018 15:12

Yabu to expect it.

It would be nice if they offered, you could have also asked if you needed help but if you don’t ask you can expect

Trialsmum · 27/02/2018 15:12

Well I think YABU to expect help tbh, but it would have been nice of them to offer. Unless it’s a shared path with them? Did it need to be cleared or could it have been left?

teaandtoast · 27/02/2018 15:12

YABU. I think cleared paths are more dangerous.

anxious2017 · 27/02/2018 15:13

Yes YABU. I'm disabled. Why would I expect my neighbours to help me? I don't know them and they don't know me.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 27/02/2018 15:15

Are you friendly and polite, do you chat? One of my NDN is physically disabled, but rude and ignorant so I probably wouldn't offer to help him (I would if I saw him struggling though) my other neighbour is lovely, and also physically very frail (severely anorexic) and always has a smile and asks how my dogs are ... I would crawl on my hands and knees to clear her path if she needed me to.

Hope you're feeling better though OP

VladmirsPoutine · 27/02/2018 15:16

I am sorry that you went through that but I do think you are being unreasonable for 'expecting' help. Sometimes in life if you can't deal then you can't deal. I'm not saying that this is okay, but if you are dependent on someone then you will at some point be let down.

I saw an elderly woman at Kings Cross the other day struggling with her suitcase and getting up the stairs whilst everyone else was just rushing up or down with no regard for her. I offered her some help, she declined, but still who can honestly know. Life is pretty much a bitch sometimes.

OnionKnight · 27/02/2018 15:16

Did you ask him?

I'm disabled, I don't 'expect' anything just because I'm disabled though.

Cath2907 · 27/02/2018 15:17

I'd help anyone who asked but it wouldn't occur to me to offer. I'd be rather concerned about interfering. There is an older couple living opposite us but I don't offer to dig out their path. I might go out and offer if I saw you obviously struggling but were your NDNs even aware you were digging out your path?

Namechangetempissue · 27/02/2018 15:19

Well I would help if asked and if I looked out of the window and noticed you were trying to clear it...but it wouldn't automatically spring to mind as a lot of people don't clear as it is more slippery and dangerous.

7even · 27/02/2018 15:20

You're unreasonable to expect a neighbour to clear your path for you.

WunWegWunDarWun · 27/02/2018 15:20

Yes yabu. If you had a very urgent need for your path to be clear you would have been unreasonable to have asked your neighbour for help.

PuppyMonkey · 27/02/2018 15:20

Not everyone clears paths - it might not have entered your neighbours’ heads that you would be clearing yours. Or maybe they’ve gone out?

ElenaBothari · 27/02/2018 15:20

Yabu.

DalekDalekDalek · 27/02/2018 15:21

I wouldn't necessarily offer in case you were offended at me suggesting you couldn't manage yourself. I would help if asked though.
I think you ABVU to expect the to do it for you. Maybe that attitude is why they don't want to help?

Antigonads · 27/02/2018 15:21

Were you going out?

I prefer uncleared snow and grips on my shoes.

Original poster
ciele · 27/02/2018 15:25

Well I hope you all remain young and able bodied.
I was brought up to help neighbours out.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 27/02/2018 15:26

Yabu to expect a neighbour to be neighbourly it is nice when they are you could have asked them if you were needing to get out. i am disabled i hate cleared paths and prefer to walk on snow my neighbour does clear the path which is kind but it usually freezes over and I slide.

Sirzy · 27/02/2018 15:26

Plenty of people have said they are disabled and don’t expect.

Tbh that last post (which ignored everything people said) could be a clue as to why people didn’t offer to help...

7even · 27/02/2018 15:26

Do you have a similar attitude the rest of the time?

anxious2017 · 27/02/2018 15:27

Perhaps they don't want to help you because of your shitty attitude?

You sound extremely entitled, OP.

LanguidLobster · 27/02/2018 15:27

ciele did they know you were clearing the path though?

VladmirsPoutine · 27/02/2018 15:28

ciele You sound rather angry atm, understandably so. But society and expectations have changed. You cannot 'expect' anything from anyone really.

StickThatInYourPipe · 27/02/2018 15:28

I don’t understand how you even know they were aware you were clearing your path without asking them to help.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 27/02/2018 15:28

Perhaps they assumed that your husband would clear it for you?

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