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AIBU?

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Original poster

NDN and snow and disability

295 replies

ciele · 27/02/2018 15:07

I'm quite severely disabled as my NDN knows.
It has taken me 45 minutes and excruciating pain
Aibu to have expected some help to clear my path?

OP posts:
Electricgobblers · 27/02/2018 18:10

How do you know your neighbour doesn’t have a hidden disability?

I have arthritis, problems with my neck and bulging discs in my back but I keep myself to myself and I don’t think any of my neighbours know so they could be judging me like you are.

RollTopBath · 27/02/2018 18:11

I think people are being a bit mean. I can’t imag living somewhere that was so inconsiderate of those around them. We have elderly neighbours in most of the surrounding houses. Those of us who are able bodied /a little younger are make sure that everyone is safe, has heating and food when weather or other problems like power cuts affect the village.
Of course they should have assisted, assuming they realised it needed doing. I will take supper to two elderly couples tonight just to check they are OK. We’ll put their bins at the bottom of their drives ready for collection so they don’t have to go out. We should be looking after the most vulnerable and not expect help to be repaid. Altruism is good for all.

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 27/02/2018 18:14

RollTopBath I wish MN had a Like button.

elisenbrunnen · 27/02/2018 18:22

I know that in USA is someone cleared your driveway (with or without being asked) and someone fell and hurt themselves, you would be liable.

It's the other way round. - i don't think it is. If you fall on fresh snow, it's a 'Act of God' (ie Nature) whereas if you clear it, you are (potentially) making it treacherous.

As I said, I'd rather salt/grit than make it a skating rink.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/02/2018 18:22

Yeah! That makes sense RollTop if you know someone needs help. when we were flooded in, lost water and electricity, we all worked together to make sure everyone, old, young, healthy, wealthy or otherwise, had everything that was needed.

But under normal circumstance don't look as though I do need help. I don't live anywhere that would flag up that I do and, when DH works away, some things don't get done as I don't feel up to it. Nobody would notice, there is no way they would be in a position to know, so nobody would offer to help!

If I saw someone clearing their path and had decided I wasn't going to do mine I wouldn't leap up to offer to help, why would I? I'd just assume that they wanted to do theirs - and good luck to them!

Littleoakhorn · 27/02/2018 18:24

Where I live we’ve had snow on and off all winter. I always clear the snow as otherwise it compresses into ice when it is walked or driven on. Once the snow has been cleared, the thinner layer left behind will melt or evaporate, leaving a much safer surface. So yes, people should clear snow. And op, of course you’re not unreasonable to expect help in doing this. I’d have helped, in just the same way as you’d help out your neighbours with some other task. There’s nothing unreasonable about looking out for each other.

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 27/02/2018 18:33

It's the other way round. - i don't think it is. If you fall on fresh snow, it's a 'Act of God' (ie Nature) whereas if you clear it, you are (potentially) making it treacherous.

Nope.
www.rentecdirect.com/blog/the-complete-guide-to-snow-removal-laws-by-state/

ChristmasCakes · 27/02/2018 18:43

Sounds like you've had a shitty old day OP Thanks

Namesarehard · 27/02/2018 19:08

Yabu. It isn't their responsibility regardless of your opinion on it. We've had snow warnings for a little while, if you find it difficult to clear have it gritted ahead of time next time.

Annechristmas · 27/02/2018 19:20

Do you live alone OP? If there are people in your household who could clear your path then it's a bit cheeky expecting your neighbours to do it.

Seniorcitizen1 · 27/02/2018 19:21

When I was a child in the 1960s we would clear a path for our elderly neighbours - they wouldn't be regarded as old now, probably in their 50s. They didn't ask we just did it as thats how people behaved back then. Unfortunately today things are different

SEsofty · 27/02/2018 19:39

You didn't ask them

YellowMakesMeSmile · 27/02/2018 20:16

Why couldn't your DH do it?

TheCatsMother44 · 27/02/2018 20:22

I wouldnt clear anyone's path without being asked to. I cleared a small path outside a shop I used to work in as my boss asked me to, as I was doing it a man walked past and gave me an absolute earful for doing it as he said it was going to be more dangerous he didn't know I had a bag of grit waiting in the shop . Because of his reaction I just wouldn't bother now as I was actually quite upset by the confrontation (young and hadn't learnt to stand up for myself).

TheCatsMother44 · 27/02/2018 20:24

Oh and YABU. Firstly for assuming they should, secondly for your attitude and thirdly because not everyone wants their paths sorted and not everyone stares out the window and watches their neighbours constantly.

Growingboys · 27/02/2018 20:26

I see on other posts you've mentioned your husband. Unless he is disabled too, I think it would be fine for your neighbours to assume he would do it.

yerbutnobut · 27/02/2018 20:56

I live in a small cul de sac with quite a few elderly, less able neighbours. I do certain things for my older NDN, bringing bins/recycling in and out etc...but if I rushed to help any one of these neighbours whenever they were doing anything then I would spend most of my days off work helping them rather than seeing to my family and home. Its not always convenient to offer help, just because someone is home doesn't mean they have the time/chance to drop everything there and then.

allthegoodnameshadgone · 27/02/2018 21:16

I would do it if I did my own without being asked or asked.

My neighbour is very elderly so whatever I do in my garden, clearing snow, weeding, I just do for him as Our gardens adjoin. I would if my neighbor was disabled also.

Original poster
ciele · 27/02/2018 22:23

All those people who are advance searching my name, ie. mentioning my DH, who I didn’t mention in this thread must be fascinated to know he was working away.
Shall I tell you when I fart?
I actually enjoyed clearing the path. It was a very big achievement for me.
I appreciate all the kind comments and perhaps I am just old school but when I was able bodied, and lived in another house, I always cleared my elderly neighbour’s path. IMHO thats what good neighbours do.

OP posts:
doesthislookoddtoyou · 27/02/2018 22:33

I actually enjoyed clearing the path. It was a very big achievement for me

So you didn't need the assistance at all then. What the hell are you complaining about?

FrancisCrawford · 27/02/2018 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LondonHereICome · 27/02/2018 22:43

god what a rude poster!!

Original poster
ciele · 27/02/2018 22:43

FrancisCrawford I think being in excruciating pain and feeling you have achieved something is not ‘combatitive’ or contradictory. In fact achievements (aside from keyboard warrior skills) are usually hard work.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 27/02/2018 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 27/02/2018 22:55

What's the nature of your disibility

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