To bf a 3 year old?

[fannyanddick]

My dh mentioned that I shouldn't tell anyone that I still breast feed as they will judge now that our child is three and that I should think about stopping. I only feed her once a day but she loves it and doesn't want to stop. Last time I said 'you're getting a bit big for milkies now', she said that she loved it and didn't want to get any bigger or grow up and more.

What is the general view? Is she too old?

Tinyprancer - not at all. Heard about elimination communication? Children are ready to be nappy free much earlier than we do it nowadays. We just need to listen to them. Same for breastfeeding, it is about following a child's cues. The difference is that if we follow a child's lead for bf we go into natural weaning (between 2 and 7yrs of age) and if we follow a child's lead for nappy wearing we probably ditch the nappies around 12-18months max.

If you follow Mikklehaha's link be sure to go to the WHO study (and read the conclusion chapter at least!) rather than the article linked to.

Ooh good point garma!!

I'll take the 'modest increase in intelligence' :)
And note that actually only a few potential health benefits were researched here.

And again I'll reiterate this is only (some) quantifiable health benefits not more generalised health benefits, not emotional benefits etc

I still feed my DD and she will be 4 in June. I want her wean when she is ready. Couldn't give a toss what anyone else thinks, its none of their business.

When the subject has come up with my friends not one has been bothered at all, and if they were, they certainly didn't show it.

We still bed share too, shock horror!

Western society and its perverted obsession with sexualising woman's bodies has a lot to answer for. And personally, I think the fact that humans drink cows milk in preference to our own species is madness.

If I met a man and he told me he breastfed until he was in elementary school, I would probably see that as a red flag
Good, because I wouldn't want a bigoted, judgemental cow as a Dil either. Ds breastfed until 4.5. Age 6 now and he has zero interest and is already very much a thing of the past and his 'babyhood'.
Just because people feel they can't talk about it due to reactions like that, doesn't mean it's of people don't do it. It's one feed a day at bedtime, so no-one really sees or knows.

Well done on feeding her this long. I didn't bother to read others comments because in my experience so many are addled with judgements. Do what is right for you and her. No-one else's business. It'll reach a natural conclusion soon, but please don't be bullied into snide comments as I was. I was judged for bf my daughter when she was 6 months (admittedly by narky women who'd never breastfed). It's your bond, your lives and no-one else's. Also I wouldn't come to Mumsnet for advice on such matters ever!

Elimination communication is really interesting - I know someone who does that. It takes serious commitment I think from what she’s said. I’m also not sure it’d work for people who need to use childcare from quite young.

We are planning on starting potty training in summer (no point just now, cold country, five trillion layers to get through!) ds is only just verbal enough and able to tell us what he needs and previously he’s been quite upset at the idea of a potty. Now he seems more interested. So I think like bf it’s a very individual thing. Kids can be ready at very different ages and there’s no one size fits all approach.

Many women in Jamaica breastfeed to about that age, despite the aggressive advertising of nestle and the like.
Also I remember when I stopped breastfeeding at 1.5yrs a Taiwanese friend thought it was odd that British women stopped so early. I remember her saying all her friends breastfed til 2yrs plus.
I myself only stopped because I was a single parent and had to go back to work. But I still expressed for a long time so why not if you can.

TBH if my DS was still interested in or wanted to talk about the way he sought comfort as a small child by the time he is dating I'd see that as a red flag too What a strange thing to be concerned about!!

I know loads and loads of mums who still bf there three year olds. Usually only at bedtime.
I think its absolutely natural and fine. Anyone who thinks otherwise can keep out of it it's none of there business! X

Breastfeeding is great & 3 really isn’t that old. It’s a good way to connect, provide nourishment and comfort. I had started to feel self conscious breastfeeding in public as she got older and bigger, but partly because of the clothes I wore to accommodate breastfeeding ended up causing more frequent flashing incidents when she latched on and off. It also got less comfortable and more awkward to find a feeding position as she got taller and heavier.
Mainly though I had to stop after 3 yrs 3 months because it had become so physically painful during certain stages of my monthly cycle. It made DD really sad to have to stop but we worked up to it and rewarded her with a pack of little collectible toys that she really wanted and we emphasised that they were for big girls who were ready to say goodbye to milkies.

It is entirely up to you and if you’re both enjoying it still, you should continue.

Saying that however, I do find it odd to see a child of preschool age breastfeeding. I think it’s mainly to do with the fact that by then they have a sense of their own body and they should be learning that mummy’s body is NOT theirs. Her breasts are hers and are not an extension of them.

@oblada I have heard of elimination communication but it’s not the same thing. Where’s the evidence that children would ‘naturally’ potty train at 12 months!

When I stopped breastfeeding at 12 months my little girl never ever sought to do it again anyway, she wasn’t at all bothered. Maybe that’s the age they’re ready? Maybe no-one knows but you can’t claim it’s more natural to keep BF till pre-school years.

I breastfed my dd until she was 5, not in public after 3 though. It's up to you. I think there are more 'closet feeders' of older children than let on.

There seems to be a lot of stating women from other countries BF for longer to prove that we’re abnormal for not doing so in the U.K. or the ‘West’ and are somehow not in touch with ourselves.

But a quick Google of these countries statistics just doesn’t back this up

Tawain - 17% BF at 3 months
Jamaica - 24% BF at 6 months

You can't 'naturally potty train' - that's an oxymoron. Elimination communication is simply about listening to the baby's cues. My grandma had her kids out of nappies by 9-12months and so did my MIL, just by following the child's cues. It is not natural to soil oneself. Not saying it's easy nowadays, we use nappies for practical reasons, but it is not 'natural'.
The current research shows that a child who is allowed to self-wean will do it between 2 and 7yrs of age. Children will be different of course but that's the average. That's not me saying it. And also bf cannot be 'forced' realistically. With all of mine I would 'not offer not refuse' from around 1year old onwards. That's my way to ensure it was natural self-weaning.

It's not too old. The WHO recommends that children are breast fed for 2 years or beyond. I hope to continue breast feeding my son beyond a year if he wants to, probably on an evening once I return to work. I'm undecided as to how long to continue for; I guess a lot of it will come down to logistics once I'm working and my son's interest. Before I had my son I couldn't imagine breast feeding at all. When he was born I knew it was the right thing for both of us. While challenging at times, it's been an absolutely wonderful experience. That said, I have to admit that I don't know whether I would volunteer that I was breast feeding past 2 years to strangers because I think it is not yet socially acceptable. As others have said though, I wouldn't lie if asked directly. I do think that I would be open with close friends and family as they ought to know me well enough to respect my decision.

I would think it was strange but it's up to you.

I just stopped BFing my DD. She's 3 years and 4 months now, and stopped of her own accord. It's no one's fucking business but yours.

No, YANBU

Yes, IMHO, it's been too long

No, I have no right to foist my opinion on you.

I have already been asked as to when I might be stopping bf by FOUR people.

DS2 is not yet three months old...

I will wean him when we're both ready.

Equally I struggled with bf DS1 and was judged in public for feeding him with a bottle (presently by those who felt I should be bf).

Society is a judgmental bitch. I say each to their own. Parenting is hard enough without being judged. Breastfeeding is no one's business but your own.

At the end of the day it is your life and your choice! BF wasn't for me full stop, that was my choice. So in answer to AIBU no you are not if that is what you (and your toddler) want to do.....but personally I wouldn't!!

Bitty....

I was always told that when they're old enough to ask for it, then it's time to stop.

The advice is meant in a light hearted way ofc, but also intended as a gentle reminder that when they're no longer a baby but rather a little person then it could potentially become emotionally unhealthy for the child to continue to breastfeed.

My daughter carried on feeding past 3. Don’t worry, but at the same time I did feel self conscious and didn’t really mention it and only did it at home, but it was certainly led by her as I did try giving up much sooner but she wouldn’t let me 😂