To bf a 3 year old?

[fannyanddick]

My dh mentioned that I shouldn't tell anyone that I still breast feed as they will judge now that our child is three and that I should think about stopping. I only feed her once a day but she loves it and doesn't want to stop. Last time I said 'you're getting a bit big for milkies now', she said that she loved it and didn't want to get any bigger or grow up and more.

What is the general view? Is she too old?

[ChickenMe]

My daughter is nearly three and still has BAB. Sometimes she will go a few days without it but she's been ill recently and it's been really nice for her to have it

[ChickenMe]

Oh and it's defo not for my benefit but if it was - so what

[ShamelesslyPlacemarking]

@Mikklehaha
Just to add clarity to the ‘does it benefit the child’ debate. Within this link is the W.H.O. research conclusions.

I assume you’re suggesting there’s no benefits. If so, I must be missing something here.

In basically every section of the report conclusion, the WHO notes that there was a measurable benefit, in some cases significant, but then cautions that a confounding variable “can’t be completely ruled out” (emphasis mine).

The person blogging about it on your link then twists each one into “it was only a small effect and that’s probably due to something else anyway” (except for the ones where she presumably couldn’t figure out a way to dismiss the measurable benefits). The blogger seems biased at best and dishonest at worst.

[Mikklehaha]

ShamelesslyPlacemarking: you assume wrong. I merely added some actual evidence of research to the debate. If you actually read my post, I cited the WHO report within the blog, not the blog itself. Your response it’s typical of many people: you have a stance and you make baseless assumptions about what other people might think in order to make your point. Debate is pointless if we are not interested in hearing the other’s point of view. We learn nothing that way.

[spacecadet48]

interesting thread. I have 4DC who were all BF.
1st 3 1/2 mths as I had to go back to work when he was 4 1/2 mths.

1. 7mths as I was going back to work and wanted to
2. 7mths going back to work

#4. Was very different, he was my surprise a little later in age , i took over a year off as I wanted to make the most of it, realizing he was my last and that time goes by fast ! I had planned to BF and bottle however he was born with a tongue tie and needed it snipped, that delayed my plan. After that was snipped I had the bottles at the ready but he ended up with really bad reflux. I had to go dairy free and he was put on medication. He was in a lot of discomfort and screaming so again didn't bother with the bottle. He enjoyed his 'gogo' which is what he called BF. I tried to stop it when I went back to work but didn't happen but we had gone down to just at night. He had got used to using BF to sleep so he couldnt self soothe. He eventually self weaned when he was around 2.5yrs. I didn't tell anyone else, I didn't want to be doing it but given his age I wasn't going to suddenly stop as that would be more traumatic. My DS is a bright, confident and engaged child and its had nothing but positive affects. So I don't regret it but if you had asked me my views before having had him I would have been one of the ones saying there is no need once there weaned and saying its weird! 😁

[KochabRising]

The bloggers conclusions are blunt but they are scientifically correct.

I wrote and reviewed papers for many years - her assessment of the data is not wrong. When you’ve got a set up like a BF study, it is ethically impossible to assign people to groups to do any kind of rigorous double blind comparison so you have to run observational studies. The signal is weak and the confounding factors many and varied and almost impossible to account for.

These are small effects - do they exist? Yes they probably do I think, it they are so small you need big populations to get a signal you can be confident in. Does that mean BF is inferior? Absolutely not. For he individual there may be great personal benefits in terms of bonding and comfort. I know my son and I benefited greatly from our BF time and I’m glad we did it.

At the same time, as a scientist, a LOT of emotions positions are taken on BF and most of the time the data doesn’t support them.

[PippyPop123]

I have a 6 month old baby who I attempted to breastfeed for the first few weeks and had to give up due to non weight gain, couldn't latch, unbearable for me even with shields. I was in so so much pain to the point I would sob through every feed. Nothing helped and it made my MH spiral. If you can do it then do it, but personally in my eyes I couldn't imagine 3 years after having my baby to still be giving up my boobs to her once a day. After only a few weeks breastfeeding I was desperate to have my own body back after spending 9 months pregnant and couldn't think of anything worse. FWIW I know the benefits as do all mothers however my FF LO is doing amazingly and has not once gotten ill (touch wood) so I wouldn't carry on just to protect her against these things. BUT if you enjoy it, then go for it. I understand I'm in the minority if people who just don't want to breastfeed.

[speakout]

I couldn't imagine 3 years after having my baby to still be giving up my boobs to her once a day.

I doubt any women could imaging that having never been in the position.

I don't think any woman ( certainly with a first breastfeeding child) decides they will breastfeed until 3 years. It just happens sometimes.

I remember hearing about a TV newsreader who had spoken about breastfeeding her two year old.
At that time I remember thinking it was a bit weird. ( I had no kids at the time)
Who would have thought that would be me one day!!
I planned to breastfeed for 6 months.

[Rumpledfaceskin]

I don't get why people get so hung up on long term benefits? It’s obvious to anyone with half a brain that there are far more factors at play in shaping a child other than their first infant nutrition. I think it’s the short term benefits that are valuable, and vital in areas where bottlefeeding is a dangerous practice. Rather than obsessing with studies about long term effects (almost impossible to study anyway) can’t we focus on learning more about the actual breastmilk and infant feeding? It’s studied so little compared to other areas, but form what I’ve seen of studies on the actual milk and process of feeding it’s pretty amazing. For instance, from a ted talk yesterday I learned that something in the milk when combined with baby saliva (only baby) it makes hydrogen peroxide! I didn’t know that, Amazing. Why don’t we know more about this bodily process? Because it’s a women’s issue, and with the might of multinational formula companies sabotaging it there’s very few people that give a shit. When you wean is no one else’s business. My dd weaned herself much earlier than I was expecting and I felt like the freak amongst my friends as they have all fed until 2/3 years.

[stargirl1701]

@PippyPop123

I don't see it as 'giving up my breasts' though. I truly feel the power of my female body in giving birth and breastfeeding. I am woman, hear me roar! Before I had my DC, I really thought about my body as transport for my brain. My periods were irritating. I hope my DC pick up on my positivity about my body. It looks nothing like the body I had before but it is amazing!

[speakout]

I don't see it as 'giving up my breasts' though. I truly feel the power of my female body in giving birth and breastfeeding. I am woman, hear me roar!

This x 100. I feel the power of my body and the strength of my ability to nurture by infants.

It's not about " giving up" breasts- it's about reclaiming them.

[ShamelesslyPlacemarking]

The signal is weak and the confounding factors many and varied and almost impossible to account for.

So why did the study say confounding factors “can’t be completely ruled out”, which suggests “possible but unlikely” rather than “confounding factors are likely/probable”, as the blogger suggests?

[KochabRising]

After only a few weeks breastfeeding I was desperate to have my own body back after spending 9 months pregnant and couldn't think of anything worse.

And it’s OK to think that. Not everyone wants to or can.

We should be supporting women’s individual choices, whatever they are. Some women will feel like you do and some will want to bf into the toddler years. Both are fine, both are a matter of individual choice and preference. And yet both get judged - anything to do with women’s bodily autonomy seems to really bring out the worst in people.

[ShamelesslyPlacemarking]

If you actually read my post, I cited the WHO report within the blog, not the blog itself.

Why link to the blog and not the actual study then?

[KochabRising]

Because fewer people will plough through 74 pages of quite dense prose but they’re likely to read a short blog post.

I’m very pro bf. I agree there should be more research into BF and breast milk and biology generally (I’ve done a little work on mammary involution and it’s fascinating to watch down a microscope.) there are compounds in breast milk that seem to have interesting properties that we don’t know enough about. I think there’s not enough support for women who struggle with BF and I’m passionate that women should be able to feed comfortably in public.

At the same time i can’t stand when science is misused or misunderstood to try to prove a point. I’m a pedant :)

[ShamelesslyPlacemarking]

Because fewer people will plough through 74 pages of quite dense prose but they’re likely to read a short blog post.

Sure, but the person who posted it said she was intending to refer people to the study itself, not the blogger’s interpretation (which I still think is slanted) of it.

[SersioulycanitgetWORSE]

Not read thread but I bf tip three... Dd five still mises it

[ohlittlepea]

If you're happy and he's happy what does it matter what anyone else feels? I wish sometimes that breast milk came out of our hands or elbows and then maybe people wouldn't get so het up about the sexual bit about breasts...mind you the cuddles wouldnt be as good. I cant think of a good reason not to want to give your child a drink rich in antibodies. I stopped around 20 months as bf wasnt working at that point for us..but have mates feeding four year olds and I think nothing of it. If I hadnt been back at work If probably have kept going with it. It weirds my mind a bit that a three year old having cows boobie juice is seen by some as so much more acceptable than having our own...thats the power of advertising I guess.

[SersioulycanitgetWORSE]

BTW I found last six months before stopping really hard going.. Really hard going but she loved it so much! Definitely more of a comfort thing for her.. Its seemed ultra natural to me

[Tillybilly1]

World health organisation recommends 2 years and beyond with most common age for weaning across the world between 4 and 7 years old. It is much weirder for children to be fed on milk of another mammal like cow or goat. It still has lots of benefits in terms of health and comfort. Do what is best for your family, a lot more mums feed at this age than we realise due to it often being just a feed before bed or on waking etc... so not as visible as a frequently feeding newborn. Once big teeth come through be aware that milk is sugary fluid and although less damaging that sugary drinks can impact dental health.

[itsonlysubterfuge]

My DD is turning 6 in July and still breastfeeds. She loves it. She never wants to give it up and claims she'll be breastfeeding forever.

[speakout]

itsonlysubterfuge how do you feel about that?

[ton181]

If you look at the other animals in our kingdom, then its not on past a certain age. I believe when a child can help themselves then its time to call it a day.

[speakout]

ton181 but higher primates are much more adept than human babies- baby gorillas can climb etc, and by 8 months are picking fruit.
Yet they are breastfed until 3 years.

So I am not sure I understand your point.

[KochabRising]

I don’t think a comparison to other great apes is helpful

Humans have a unique set of cognitive abilities- we are capable of analysing our choices in ways that other animals can’t. Our young have an incredibly long childhood - parental investment lasts many years. If a mother decides to feed longer term then that’s a choice she has made based on her individual circumstances and it’s the right choice for her.

ohlittlepea makes a valid point - if milk came from elbows then the sexual aspect would be removed and it’d not be controversial. A lot of the objection i think stems from the way women are not really allowed bodily autonomy- their bodies must be in the service of men mainly. When a woman chooses to use her body in a way that suits her, the knives come out. Cf how women are expected to dress, have their hair, look nice, be nice, shut up and be decorative.

Long term bf wasn’t for me but that was my free choice. I fully support any woman extended feeding