To bf a 3 year old?

[fannyanddick]

My dh mentioned that I shouldn't tell anyone that I still breast feed as they will judge now that our child is three and that I should think about stopping. I only feed her once a day but she loves it and doesn't want to stop. Last time I said 'you're getting a bit big for milkies now', she said that she loved it and didn't want to get any bigger or grow up and more.

What is the general view? Is she too old?

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Ton101 very young babies can 'crawl' and latch on 'helping themselves', do you think at say 8 weeks old this means they should be weaned?

Agree with this. My ds was delivered onto my stomach. By 35 minutes old - before I had even delivered the placenta - he had pulled himself along, opened an enormous cavern of his mouth and helped himself to a post birth snack. So I guess 30 minutes old is the cut off?

[Choosegopse]

It’s unusual but nothing wrong with it in fact I think the opposite. I did it for longer but I didn’t really tell people as I didn’t want to get into discussion.

[RockafellerSkank]

I reckon those who think it's weird are still drinking milk designed for calves. That really is bizarre.

[RockafellerSkank]

I believe there are benefits to still nurse my toddler at nearly three, and I will let her self-wean.
Even if there aren't, it's a brilliant comfort for her, and I feel it's actually making my life easier.

[BertieBotts]

To be fair, when I was five or six I said to my mum that I would live with her forever and ever and I would never leave home. I can actually remember feeling totally convinced of this and not being able to imagine in the slightest feeling any differently.

By the time I was 15? 16? I was desperate to move out and utterly obsessed with it! I did as soon as I could. I have a good relationship with my mum, and wasn't escaping any terrible atmosphere - i just changed and grew up and wanted my independence.

Hopefully with BF it happens a bit earlier but you get the point I'm making, anyway!

[Pikehau]

Just been trying to read whole thread and not succeeded

To this point
I couldn't imagine 3 years after having my baby to still be giving up my boobs to her once a day.

My eldest will be six this month, weaned at 3. My youngest 9months. I’ve been bf for 6 years continuously for 3 kids. This is my second tandom feeding relationship. Middle child is 3.5.

I was the one in the nct class who would have said “eeew that is disgusting” so no I don’t believe anyone could imagine this at the beginning of motherhood.

I’m at the end of the line with dd(3.5) not sure how to get her to stop. And I now feel maybe should have stopped earlier before she would remember. So torn. So sad.

YANBU to bf - do what you want.

It’s sad to think we would be judged even if people outwardly said “wow go for it” outside a la leche group.

And I love the milk and elbow point made earlier. No one would give a flying f”&k!

Oh and I don’t tell many people either that I bf a 3 year old. 2 no problem. Odd that.

[Shmithecat]

ton181

If you look at the other animals in our kingdom, then its not on past a certain age. I believe when a child can help themselves then its time to call it a day.

🙄. How bloody ridiculous. Some animals can walk within days/weeks of being born. Some have a full set of teeth. Should our babies be running around and eating solids then as well?!

[Rainbowsandflowers78]

Yes does a man touching his wives breasts mean that they are his?! We give our bodies out of love - to our partners, to our children.

[Ennirem]

"Once they can ask for it it's time to stop". Yup, this is my approach to cuddles, bathtime, nappy changes and porridge. They have to learn independence after all. 🙄

And the bit about "they have to understand that mum's breasts aren't part of their body" - wt actual f? Does your husband ever give your kids a piggy back, or are you worried they won't understand his back isn't part of their body? Do you kiss your children, or are you worried this will mean they don't understand they are YOUR lips?

People really are messed in the head about breasts aren't they??? Seriously, I'm lucky I never found my breasts sexual or got turned on by having them mucked about with... Tbh I'm not sure how many women would if society didn't tell us we ought to 😳

Breastfeeding was great for me because it finally gave me a use and an appreciation for these hitherto uninteresting fatbags on my front that the men I have been with persisted in messing around with while I was trying to have sex!!

[Honeybooboo123]

Bf both mine until just before 4, just at night or morning. Little loves just didn't want to stop...i stopped telling people i think.

[cherish123]

Admittedly, my DC who was bf until 2.5 and he rarely got pre-school bugs/colds etc.

[Babieseverywhere]

Entirely up to you and your child.

I have very fond memories of nursing my children and it goes by so fast.

One day she will no longer want and need the comfort of nursing. It might be tomorrow or another year or so.

My oldest nurseling was 5 1/2 when she stopped and at times I worried that she would never wean. But one day out of the blue she did !

[DaisyEmma]

If anyone has a problem with this just ask if they still drink milk themselves?

Cows milk is breastmilk- just from another species. (🤢) What you’re doing is far less weird if you think about it. (I’m still feeding my 2.4 year old.)

We are the only mammals to consume breast milk into adulthood.

[Tinyprancer]

@tillybilly the average age for stopping BF across the world is not 4-7. That has been massively debunked in recent years

[Shmithecat]

I still bf my 2.5yo. Not over night, but quite often in the day, before his nap and to sleep at night. It most certainly isn't for my benefit. He still needs it. I'd have love for him to have packed up months ago tbh. I feed him in public too. I couldn't care less what general members of the public think. It's NOTFB frankly. And to those who think it's weird or makes them feel queasy. That says way more about you than it does about extended breastfeeding.

[womaninatightspot]

I have twins who turn three this month who I'm still bf. Only at home though before bedtime and at morning cuddles they'd cheerfully feed everywhere though but there is no discrete feeding of a pair of wiggly toddlers.

[speakout]

And there are ways to limit frequency and duration rather than stop completely.

Lots of techniques that are even fun.

[speakout]

itsonlysubterfuge remember your feelings are important too.

[speakout]

itsonlysubterfuge that's lovely.

Only reason I ask is that I have seen lots women get quite " antsy" towards the end of an extended breastfeeding relationship.
The breastfeeding relationship is a dyad, and I have seen many women looking for gentle ways to bring the long term relationship to a gentle end.
I know that happened to me too,

But if you are both happy then great.

[itsonlysubterfuge]

speakout Fine. Sometimes it bothers me because she uses my breast as a comfort item, sometimes just wanting to stroke it or lay her cheek on it, but it won't last forever so I try to enjoy the closeness and remind myself she'll only be young once.

[PinkChestnut]

If both you and your daughter are happy with it I don't see a problem. Who cares what anyone else thinks it's not harming anyone

[Wilson2]

I think it's completely your choice. If you're both happy with it, then keep going until your daughter decides it's time for her to stop. It's very unlikely you will still be breastfeeding her when she is 16. Enjoy it while it lasts, it sounds like a special bond. :)

[prettypaws]

Ton101 very young babies can 'crawl' and latch on 'helping themselves', do you think at say 8 weeks old this means they should be weaned?

Isn't it odd, once humans are able to communicate and do things themselves it is normally encouraged. Good communication and attachment between mother and child dyads is encouraged, and yet specifically with breastfeeding it is actively discouraged by some. It makes you wonder what it is within those individuals that cause them this unnatural reaction.

[KochabRising]

I don’t think a comparison to other great apes is helpful

Humans have a unique set of cognitive abilities- we are capable of analysing our choices in ways that other animals can’t. Our young have an incredibly long childhood - parental investment lasts many years. If a mother decides to feed longer term then that’s a choice she has made based on her individual circumstances and it’s the right choice for her.

ohlittlepea makes a valid point - if milk came from elbows then the sexual aspect would be removed and it’d not be controversial. A lot of the objection i think stems from the way women are not really allowed bodily autonomy- their bodies must be in the service of men mainly. When a woman chooses to use her body in a way that suits her, the knives come out. Cf how women are expected to dress, have their hair, look nice, be nice, shut up and be decorative.

Long term bf wasn’t for me but that was my free choice. I fully support any woman extended feeding

[speakout]

ton181 but higher primates are much more adept than human babies- baby gorillas can climb etc, and by 8 months are picking fruit.
Yet they are breastfed until 3 years.

So I am not sure I understand your point.