To hate heels for little girls

[RainOnATinRoof]

For work I was involved in running a family event over the weekend. I was shocked at how many little girls were wearing high heels. Like this, but also a lot of boots with heels even higher. On girls age 6-10.

It's one thing for an adult to choose to wear heels, but buying them for a child? Do people really not understand how damaging they are? They alter the gait causing unnatural stress on feet, ankles, knees, hips, spines etc. I don't know why someone would want to subject a growing body to this.

When I was a girl I coveted high heels (but children's heels didn't really exist back then outside of tap classes), so I can understand that some children may beg for them, but parents can always say no. Just because they are in the shops doesn't mean you have to buy them! (note, I'm not talking about the plastic dress up heels which are usually worn around the house only).

I have tiny feet, and you can buy Mary Janes up to size 4 UK in the States. I don't have a daughter, but I woukd expect her to wear sensible shoes. Eighth grade graduation or Confirmation is early enough for heels. I loathe cute impractical shoes.

But a party is supposed to be fun. And fun as a young child is about playing and doing stuff, not about how you look. Not at the expense of comfort.

As an adult woman it can feel important to look attractive at a party, but it really shouldn’t at 6 or 8. I don’t know why we accept this for our (female only, of course 🙄) children.

But I was brought up in the 70s/80s by parents who wouldn’t have indulged heels/makeup/hair colours/pamper parties for an instant. I’m grateful for that.

I’m not sure I agree that black patent Mary Janes qualify as “sensible” shoes Erica never the less any 13 yo wearing them might as well wear a notice saying “bully me now”.

I remember wearing heeled party shoes at Christmas etc. They were silver or gold and strappy. I remember coveting them and really wanting to wear them. However I don’t think this was down to some innate female desire to put my unformed feet into restrictive binding, even if they did sparkle. It was because all my friends wore them and I wanted to, too.

The thing is, females are socialised from an early age to find certain things aesthetically desirable. It doesn’t mean it’s right or healthy.

I repeat. Why, if they do no damage to feet as some are saying, are they only marketed at female children. (And in later life, adult women.)

Is there something magical about the bones in the female foot that makes them suited to being plonked into weird angled footwear? Something different in female biology that makes our bodies suited to being thrust forward from the hips, as happens when wearing high heels?

I really don’t get how people are so blind to this. Someone mentioned the Apprentice upthread and it gives such a clear example of how this fucked up thinking is so entrenched in society.

In The Apprentice you have males and females running around all over London carrying out active tasks trying to win the coveted prize of working with Lord Sugar. (How much of a prize you think that will be may vary.)

Point is, all the women are doing this running around in tight, restrictive clothing and skyscraper heels. The men are in comfortable suits and flat brogues, etc.

I know whose feet and bodies will be in most pain at the end of the day and it certainly isn’t the men. But hey, it’s all an even playing field isn’t it.

Sheila Jeffries has spoken and written at length on this subject and can say it much better than I can. But it’s so weird, because it seems like common sense to me. How could anyone argue otherwise?

I think we ought to pearl clutch over the many homeless children and families living in poverty before we get too excited about party shoes. I think people are not saying what they mean, they think the thing is common.

I think we ought to pearl clutch over the many homeless children and families living in poverty before we get too excited about party shoes.

I can quite happily have an opinion on both, thanks.

And I couldn’t give a fuck if they’re ‘common’, actually. That’s a weird projection you’ve put on the issue, not anyone else.

Yes, let’s try to shut down any meaningful conversation about why women are expected to wear restrictive footwear from an early age, using diversionary tactics.

As husky says, though, we can care about more than one issue at the same time. Phew!

Although to be honest, not if I’ve been wearing heels, cos then my feet will be killing me and that’s all I’ll be able to think about.

Ooh! Lightbulb moment!

I know this isn’t the feminism board but it’s a huge bugbear of mine, the weird, restrictive shoes and clothing for girls only thing. It just really boils my piss.

I don’t like them but don’t have an older child so can’t really tell what peer pressure to wear different things might be like at different ages. I wouldn’t be buying heels of any kind at 6 though. By 10 I’d imagine I’d be less strict. I remember buying a 4 inch pair with my pocket money when I was about 12 and telling my parents I’d won them. I couldn’t walk in them and in hindsight they were hideous but I loved them.

There are some hideously inappropriate baby clothes out there now so I can full believe the previous poster who talked about how her sil dressed her baby. I was shocked looking at one high street retailer and seeing pleather hot pants and slashed cropped tops in 3-6 months.

I think we ought to pearl clutch over the many homeless children and families living in poverty before we get too excited about party shoes. I think people are not saying what they mean, they think the thing is common

Oh get to fuck with this silly diversion tactic. It's possible to care about more than one thing. And no it's nothing to do with it being 'common', you're projecting.

Fact is heels and restrictive footwear for young girls is part of a wider issue. It's not hard to think about why restrictive and unhealthy footwear is coveted as a positive thing for the female population and not the male population.

It's easy to brush it off as people 'making a fuss about nothing' though, because that doesn't require any actual thought on the matter.

Regardless of the damage that geeks can do to small feet can we not see they are sooooooo frecking UGLY.

(Geeks can do damage, but clearly I meant HEELS. Daft autocorrect)

Yanbu, they are awful

I had those for parties in the 80's. Its nothing new.

As occasional dress up shoes they aren’t going to damage feet. It’s no different to a toddler clipping around in Disney dress up shoes and having worked in a nursery I can assure you both boys and girls enjoy doing that until it is socialised out of the boys.
There is obviously a wider issue of why women’s footwear is so much less comfortable but I think women being expected to wear stilettos for a full day of work is much more of an issue than a young child wearing a small heel for a one off event. You’ve been pretty vague about what the event is - some kind of casting. Is it possible they were tap shoes some of the children were wearing?

When I was about seven, I had an adored pair of red sandals like that which a family friend had given me and which my Mum was very unhappy about. Suffice to say when I tripped over in them and broke my wrist, they were confiscated.

MuncheysMummy Didn't men wear heels first?

I'm pretty sure my school shoes from clarks in the 90's/early 2000's had a heel. Chuncky heel and i was able to run and play. I always wore trainers outside of school though

Chavy!!

Ding Ding Ding. And there we have it! 'Chavy'. I swear a year ago, anyone using the word chavvy on Mumsnet would have been flamed. Now it's common place to see it on here. What changed?

They are gross - bad for their skeletal development and just look plain horrible!

well my 6 year old has several pairs and loves them. wearing them for parties or the odd lunch out for a family gathering or whatever is not going to do her any harm. really think there are bigger things to worry about 😏