Boyfriend won't leave MY house

[FirstTimeMama18]

I have told my boyfriend to leave my house and he's refusing. I own the house outright myself.

We have an 8 week old DD and he has a DS from previous relationship. Our relationship has been very whirlwind, fell pregnant very quickly etc. We have done nothing but argue since I gave birth and I have had enough. Too much stress and don't feel supported.

I asked him to leave last night, he did but came back this morning and is refusing to leave now. His son is with him, he's sitting on my sofa smirking telling me he's going no where and to call the police.. I don't want police at my door.

He pays me £400 towards bills but like I said, I own my home outright. Do I have to give him notice to leave? How do I get him to leave without calling the police?

IIF you don’t want to involve the police, get a new lock and get it fitted next time he goes out. Get a friend to pick one up from a hardware shop if you must.

Your ex must leave your house at some point for work or to go to the job centre! Change the locks and DONT let him back in. Then take it from there.

Many years ago when I sought and got advice for something akin to this, I was told that if my partner lived with me, in a place where my name was on the contract and his was not, where he was paying rent to me (I was therefore his landlord), he really had very few rights, and 24 hours notice to leave would be more than sufficient. I'm not aware of the law having changed since.

In my case, I waited for ex to leave off his own back, he did it when he was good and ready and that took nearly a year. He was very aggressive/smug about it too. If I could go back with the more assertive nature I have these days, I would serve written notice then pack his bags and put them outside the door after 24 hours. Change the locks, and call the Police if he kicked up a fuss as I believe that could then be breach of the peace - and it's very unlikely they would insist he be able to move back in. I don't think they could, as it would be deemed a civil matter? And the law would be on my side anyway?

It's a very shitty thing for him to drag his little boy into this. Emotionally manipulative and deeply unpleasant.

£400 a month for food and bills for two people is not rent. It's less than £100 a week. No wonder he doesn't want to leave! What a nice gravy train for him.

He doesn't have a tenancy. You can't have one if you live in an owner's home even if you pay rent, which he doesn't. He has a license, and a bare one at that. That can be revoked by the person who owns the house and wants it back. As here.

Change the locks after he's out. And get the police to remove him.

Are you ok FirstTimeMama18 ?

Should add that council tax, utilities, tv licence, Netflix, water bill, landline, internet, and so on in this house totals around £300 a month. Half that is £150, and when you add in food, cleaning products, and shampoo, loo paper etc for a grown man and a boy you're almost certainly looking at more than £250 a month on top. He gives £400. How is that rent?! That's not rent. That's bare living costs, in fact it wouldn't be remotely surprising if the OP is subsiding him there, as well as the free roof over their heads. No wonder the arse is refusing to go.

£400 Doesn't even buy you a room in a shared house where I live (and I assume lots of parts of the country)

If he has been living there, paid money and sees it as his home then he has rights.

The OP cannot just bag up his stuff, change the locks and throw him out.

what is the point discussing how much he pays?

Surely this was an amount agreed when they were happy together, as a reasonable contribution.

It's not our place to query their arrangement now. Maybe the OP is a millionaire and she only wanted some money from him towards food.

BoneyBackJefferson- he really doesn't!

If he has been living there, paid money and sees it as his home then he has rights.

No he doesn’t.

Which is why you should never live anywhere your name isn’t on the deeds or tenancy, but in this case the man is being unpleasant, so I’ll save my sympathy.

Nightfall1

www.kentfamilysolicitor.com/injunctions/my-partner-has-thrown-me-out-house-what-can-i-do/

If you say so.

Battleax

The OP has my sympathy, but she needs to know that he may have the right to occupy the property and she could be getting herself in to trouble.

Well, she can Boney

It would then be up to him to start any legal proceedings to get back in... which he would lose, for many reasons, most of which have been given upthread!

He might be able to claim his has license, at most! And that would only require reasonable notice and at the end of a relationship almost any amount of time could be construed as reasonable, it is situation dependent.

I know this isn't a popular view, those who have posted it have like myself been challenged, told I was talking bollocks, apparently. But the long and short of it is OP can kick him out, change the locks and not allow him back in again... he would have to go to a lot of effort just to be told he has no rights to continue living there.

CuriousaboutSamphire

We can all do lots of things, but it would be better for the OP if she did this the right way first time and not have to worry about the legalities later.

But she has the right to turn him out!

Surely we all agree that she, the home owner, has the right to ask an unwanted person to leave and not return?

The only real issue is the time scale. And that depends on his residential status. That is what is causing the disagreements, isn't it?

Like others I don't think he has any rights, he would barely qualify as a licensee, would have much the same rights as a lodger (he hasn't lived there long, he hasn't paid on any rent or mortgage, may not have m/any other residential claims, we don't know, only OP does) so she can ask him to leave without having to give him a month's notice and, if she feels it is appropriate, depending entirely on her view of his actions, she could view 'reasonable notice' as almost any time frame - again that is situation dependent.

But none of us know for certain and so OP has 2 choices:

1. Give him a month's notice, which could imply she agrees he has license and could change his legal status, and put up with him for another month... when he will remain until she gets a court order, if he is a total shit (which he may not be, we can't know)

1. Tell him to leave now, change her locks and let him decide whether he has any rights that he wants to fight for, as far as residency goes. He won't, because of the timescale, OPs ownership etc etc.

Either way she will have the worry of further legal proceedings.

If she asks CAB/Shelter they will, in all likelihood, tell her she can put him out and that it would be nice to give him some notice!

I'd give him a couple of weeks notice unless he's been really vile. If it was you in his position I imagine you'd want a little bit of notice too. I'd make him aware though that if he continues to be so unpleasant to you he'll be out straight away.

Thinking that he has no rights is very different to knowing that he has no rights.

for the sake of one night and a phonecall she will know where she stands.

Hope op comes back.
I also hope that all those who think she’s a terrible person for wanting him out stick by their words if/when this happens to someone they love and care about.
Put yourself/your daughter/sister in OPs place and ask yourself how you’d feel and what you’d do.
The law is the law and the op can and should take legal advice but the fact that he’s sitting on her sofa in her house with his son is not OPs problem and wanting him out doesn’t make her a bad person.

But PollyPerky has found some info on the CAB site (above) saying that if they have a child together, 'reasonable' notice can be up to 6 months. And they do.

If you think about it, they would be considered a family in terms of being eligible, or not, for benefits. The mortgage has been paid off. He has been contributing to the cost of running the household. This is not a simple boyfriend moving in with girlfriend situation. Op is not a single parent, tho' she will be when he's moved out.

This is why you need to be married when you have children UNLESS you have your own home. (Which in this case the OP does) . The cards for once are ALL in her hand because it's her house and she's not married.

Yes we do advice a mother to seek advice from a solicitor about staying in the ex partners home when the relationship breaks down but there is a simple reason for this. It's simply because the mother is NORMALLY the primary carer of the child. If she wasn't and or if there are no children then the law is the same whatever sex you are. Any (possible but far from guaranteed) rights for an unmarried primary carer to stay in a home owned by an ex partner can be ordered under Schedule 1 of the children's act. As there is an obligation for the child to be 'housed' by either parent in the position to do so.

The £400 is not relevant unless it was paid as rent . If he has 400 to pay I assume he is working so a % of that is child costs plus his own eating/living/transport cost. That doesn't leave anything that could approach a 'normal' rent.

We do not know a number of essentials though.

Is he even named on the bc. If not then he doesn't even legally 'have' a child with the OP.
Even if named, Is he the primary carer - if not then no child to house and make a schedule one application.

Even if he could claim the first two, he still has no right to stay. He has to make an application under schedule 1 from outside the home.

The police WILL tell him to leave.
I have been with police (not police myself but work in similar area with police) when they have done exactly this. With both a mother with a child but she wasn't married and had to leave and seek an application to get back in. (Which was refused because she had an alternative available and it wasn't her house) and , like this situation where the mother owned the house and the boyfriend (and father of dc) was not primary carer and not married.

Don't have kids with someone if they own a house and you don't. Without marrying first. !
In this RARE case it's the bloke who's shafted. Which is highly unusual. It's normally the woman.

Hope he's out OP.

That works both ways: Thinking his has tenants rights and knowing he has them are also two different things. I started responding to counter the posts saying he does have such rights, her house is his home, she needs to give him notice - which is not necessarily so!

As I have said from my first post, it will all depend on information that only OP knows.

Should she ever come back maybe we will find out. But even if she doesn't, I hope she does contact Shelter tomorrow and finds out exactly where she does stand for herself.

Emotional abuse - bullying, threatening and intimidation - is still abuse. Domestic abuse is a criminal offence.

Just because he hasn't left bruises doesn't make his behaviour acceptable or require the OP to be 'considerate of his needs' and worry about him freezing in the cold if she has chucked him out tonight.

This opinion is why so many women stay in relationships with abusive men - it can't be that bad if he hasn't hit me.... Bruises quickly fade but emotions can take years to heal.

Hope you're ok OP.

wow why did you have a baby with him you do realise that's way more of a commitment than marriage or property or ANYTHING ELSE

ThymeOut that information is repeated on many websites and doesn't say "if they have a child together, 'reasonable' notice can be up to 6 months." in all situations.

See kittens post for some clarification.