Boyfriend won't leave MY house

[FirstTimeMama18]

I have told my boyfriend to leave my house and he's refusing. I own the house outright myself.

We have an 8 week old DD and he has a DS from previous relationship. Our relationship has been very whirlwind, fell pregnant very quickly etc. We have done nothing but argue since I gave birth and I have had enough. Too much stress and don't feel supported.

I asked him to leave last night, he did but came back this morning and is refusing to leave now. His son is with him, he's sitting on my sofa smirking telling me he's going no where and to call the police.. I don't want police at my door.

He pays me £400 towards bills but like I said, I own my home outright. Do I have to give him notice to leave? How do I get him to leave without calling the police?

wow why did you have a baby with him you do realise that's way more of a commitment than marriage or property or ANYTHING ELSE What is the point of posting that? I mean, really? Why?

It takes 2 peopke to argue. I'm not sure if want to leave in his situation. It's his child.

Print a copy of the property register off showing sole ownership (go on Gov land reg site, should be £3. Be vary of “middle men” sites.) Then next time he’s out change the locks and leave his stuff outside. If he calls police or starts causing trouble then call the police yourself and show them proof of ownership.

CuriousaboutSamphire
That works both ways

It does and its why she should find out the legalities before throwing him out.

stronger she has said nothing that indicates he is emotionally abusing her. They have fallen out as what usually happens at the end of a relationship. Doesn't mean there is abuse.

It does and its why she should find out the legalities before throwing him out. Ooh! Are we playing "Who gets the last word?"

I'll let you win, as we aren't really arguing about what the OP should do...

I wonder if he's still sat on the sofa

Having done a search, there is a lot of information on various sites inc CAB saying that if you have a child together, the person who owns the house cannot 'evict' the other person and that they (the non-owner) can apply to the courts to allow them to stay for up to 6 months.

It's great you've done a search.

You appear to believe that either the mother can be forced to live with her partner against her will for up to 6 months, or that an 8 week old baby has to move out with the mum for six months, or that the mum has to leave her baby with the father at this age, just so he can keep on living in the house.

Do you think that is reasonable? Or do you think the law is there to protect the child's right to a home? Because I can assure you that that is the intention, and therefore, it is inapplicable here. The child's home us not under threat.

And if you are referring to an Occupation Order, those are most commonly used in situations of domestic abuse, in order to allow the victim to remain in the home. As far as we know, OP is not abusing her partner, and they are specifically stated in the legislation as to be used only as a last resort, because interfering with property rights is a serious matter.

I can't offer advice here. I'm not qualified. I have worked for the CAB, and have an LLB and LLM, but this is a complex area of law. I only know enough to know that you do not know enough. If you could advise competently after a brief swirl on a search engine, nobody would need lawyers.

what is the point discussing how much he pays?

Because under the law, if you contribute to the mortgage monetarily you have a claim, potentially, on some of the equity in the house. It can be argued that there was an intention for it to belong to you both. All depends on alleged intention when you started to pay, which can be tricky to establish after a split, with nothing in writing. And similarly, if you pay rent, then you have more rights than if you just defray your own daily expenses.

If it were a grand a month plus, and that helped towards the mortgage, he could argue he was intended to share equitable ownership (though if it was a whirlwind, and the baby a newborn, he's not been there long enough to make much of a claim, I believe?). And if it was agreed as rent, then potentially (although I really don't know) he'd have more claim now, too.

Surely this was an amount agreed when they were happy together, as a reasonable contribution. It's not our place to query their arrangement now. Maybe the OP is a millionaire and she only wanted some money from him towards food.

Sure. But there are legal implications, potentially. Which makes it relevant.

He sounds exactly like exDP.

He was extremely controlling and he ruined a few years of my life. It wasn’t until I finally stood up for myself and grew a back bone that he finally let loose.

I hope he’s out the house now OP

It does and its why she should find out the legalities before throwing him out.

AIBU is not the place to seek that advice, I agree. Posting on Legal would be a big improvement. Shelter would be more informed than we are. A solicitor would be best of all, but that would get expensive.

Honestly, though, I can't see what remedy he could possibly have if she just gets him out. She has a tiny baby who is mostly dependent upon her (that's the usual reality). It's a relationship of brief duration. They aren't married, they aren't financially enmeshed, and she is the more vulnerable party, because the baby is, and unless this is that very rare situation where he is primary carer, then the assumption that the baby's need to be appropriately housed trumps anyone else's is met by the mother being in the home. That dovetails neatly with her being the owner.

What is he going to be able to do? He won't get an Occupation Order unless there is a huge backstory we aren't party to, and I can't see that he has any claim on the house at all. Wise to get that checked out, absolutely, but also wise to ensure she has her home back, if it's really over.

For everyone's sake though, I'm hoping this was just a volatile row with a newborn baby when everyone is feeling stressed, and that things are actually okay. It's just a snapshot. We had huge fights in the wake of births, just because everyone was so exhausted, so hopefully the OP is fine, and it's all fine.

If not... then agreed, she needs to ask where people are in a position to tell her with some confidence.

OP are you ok?

OP are you ok?

Aaand that poster is the sane one.

OP, also hoping you are okay.

perfectstorm Read the first post.
There is no mortgage for him to contribute to. OP says she owns the house outright. Assume she means no mortgage rather than she is the only person on the mortgage.

OP

I hope that you get this sorted.

I can do anytime but need to be out of there approx 10 to 11 x

Oops!

Everyone needed to stop getting c

Try again.

Everyone needed to stop getting caught up in arguments about if the Police would have evicted him and concentrated on the OP.

Its not surprising she got scared off, I doubt she had time to go through all the posts.

The focus should have been on supporting her to contact a Solicitor this morning and having a locksmith to hand.

lethal How's one o'clock for you?

I'm also a police officer and was going to comment my two pence worth but the OP hasn't been back and I'm wary to not have all the information - there's nothing really left to add except what colditz has said.
( Fellow cop wave )

To the PP who said to call the police and cancel them because that would be enough to make him leave, if the OP's force are anything like mine we'd still come anyway, regardless of whether she calls and cancels as it's domestic related.

I hope the OP has followed a lot of the good advice on here.

I KNOW I'm right smile

You can't turf someone out if it's their home, they have possessions there and there is no violence. They have lived there for some time. They haven't paid rent as as formal tenant but they have paid you. This can create a kind of contract. You have to be reasonable. A letter with a date of leaving from a solicitor is one way

But your not right polly. Even the link you so helpfully posted states your not.
I’m guessing that seen as this has got to page ten someone has pointed this out to you but if not.

After a relationship breakdown you can only remain in a property if you have a legal right to do so.
That means either court order tenancy/named on deed or matrimonial home rights or the same conferred by civil partnership.

You can sling someone out if they have none of those things because they don’t have a legal right to remain. And no you don’t need to give them notice.

NeedsA my DDs Partner tried to get my DD removed from his House. They'd been in a Partnership. The Police wouldn't get involved, as there was no crime being committed/threatened.

My SIL tried to get her Cocklodging Partner removed, she had to go down the formal separation route. It would seem like in other 'domestic' cases, the Police's response varies.

Everyone needed to stop derailing the thread and being so selfish, it wasn't about you, there was a new Mum in need of help.

Leave your Ego out of your replies.

Interesting as I know the Police in my area would not attend when I was at a similar impasse.
I ended up strong arming my ex out of the door through pure rage. No children watching to scare though. Then I had to answer some questions from the Police as he initially told them I assaulted him. I demonstrated how I'd grabbed his wrist and shoved him out of the door when he attempted to slap me and they left.
I am not proud that I got so mad as to shove like that. But these smug bastards are physical cowards at the end of the day, why else would he be using his son like that?

It is helpful to the op for her to know that the link posted by the poster saying she couldn’t make him leave actually says the person has no legal right to remain.
Until he has a court order he has no legal right to remain. And that the liklyhood of him being granted an occupation order in the circumstances she has talked about are slim.
Yes he could try but right now that’s not her problem it only becomes her problem if he does succeed.

He’s more likely to succeed if he can get the baby away from her but that’s going to be harder for him with the age of the baby but easier from the inside of the house.

Around here the police will remove (as they do in all 4 counties I cover) the usual person being removed tends to be the unmarried Mum because it’s usually them with no legal right to remain usually blokes tend to be abit more insistant about forming the right to remain which is why it’s handy if an arrestable offence occurs because then an arrest can happen and a temp protection order to give Mum enough time to get a order covering the house.

Its not about ego, there is a woman who has posted about the situation she’s in obviously desperate being told by someone whose misunderstood a link that she’s unreasonable with a fair few other posters pulling the OMG that’s sexist and anti men nonsense.

why can't he stay for a week or two till he finds a room? Because 2 weeks will turn into a month, then 2 months, then a year...

All moot points really seeing as the Op hasn’t been back. I do hope she’s alright.