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Original poster

Boyfriend won't leave MY house

253 replies

FirstTimeMama18 · 25/02/2018 12:42

I have told my boyfriend to leave my house and he's refusing. I own the house outright myself.

We have an 8 week old DD and he has a DS from previous relationship. Our relationship has been very whirlwind, fell pregnant very quickly etc. We have done nothing but argue since I gave birth and I have had enough. Too much stress and don't feel supported.

I asked him to leave last night, he did but came back this morning and is refusing to leave now. His son is with him, he's sitting on my sofa smirking telling me he's going no where and to call the police.. I don't want police at my door.

He pays me £400 towards bills but like I said, I own my home outright. Do I have to give him notice to leave? How do I get him to leave without calling the police?

OP posts:
Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 25/02/2018 14:01

Surely £400 is for not only his share of council tax, gas, electricity, water, TV licence but also his share of the food bill and his contribution to the costs of the 8 week old - nappies mainly but also clothes and baby equipment. If his child from a previous relationship also lives with him 50% then also his share of food and water bills etc.

However whether the child from the previous relationship lives with his father in the OP's house 50% (or lives there enough to call it home rather than a very occasional sleep over) seems important to whether a lone adult or an adult and dependant child are being thrown out.

JaneEyre70 · 25/02/2018 14:01

I'd like to live in a house where £400 is a lot for a share of bills and food Hmm.

Tistheseason17 · 25/02/2018 14:03

What @Coldilox says

Change the locks front and back.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/02/2018 14:03

You can't turf someone out if it's their home, they have possessions there and there is no violence. They have lived there for some time. They haven't paid rent as as formal tenant but they have paid you. This can create a kind of contract. You have to be reasonable. A letter with a date of leaving from a solicitor is one way.

Erm.. this is all sorts of wrong, as is the way some posters are reading the Shelter advice.

  1. The house in in OPs name only
  2. He may have been paying OP some money but, at best, he is a lodger, and so has almost no right to stay once told to leave.
  3. He has been told to leave
  4. If he wants to pursue it he can ask for an order to be cut... but only once he is OUT of the house
  5. OP has very good ground to refuse, as he is not on the lease, the relationship is over and she wants him out!
  6. Reasonable is not a legal definition and, for a lodger, 24 hours can be seen as reasonable. The break down of a relationship would mean that a partner who has no lien on the house can be turned out. He can go to the council and ask for emergency housing, as Shelter advice says

So please OP, just call the police, get him removed. He has no automatic rights to stay in your home, you can put him out!

Here, this council puts it quite plainly:

www.scambs.gov.uk/content/relationship-breakdown-and-housing

PhelanThePain · 25/02/2018 14:04

It really depends how long the £400 has been going on for, what it covered and whether he has proof of paying it

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 25/02/2018 14:09

Half of council tax, electricity, water, gas, TV licence would come to about £150 per month, plus £250 for food - that's a bargain, there is nothing towards rent or maintenance for the baby or any costs towards his other child living in the house in £400 per month.

Birdsgottafly · 25/02/2018 14:10

Re the £400, that just strengthens his case of them living in a Partnership.

PollyPerky · 25/02/2018 14:10

This is what you need to read.

www.themix.org.uk/housing/housing-problems/how-can-i-evict-someone-from-my-house-8102.html

The fact he has been paying even without a rental agreement, gives him rights.

It's advice by Shelter

^We’re sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your girlfriend. It’s always difficult when a relationship breaks down.
If your girlfriend has never made any payments towards the mortgage or bills and you don’t have a written agreement allowing her to live there, then she doesn’t have any legal rights to stay if you (as the owner) want her to leave. Because of this, there is no set amount of notice that you must give her if you want her to leave.
Usually, it is a good idea to give the person reasonable notice that you would like them to leave so that they can find somewhere else to stay. In your case, you say that your girlfriend has begun to become verbally and physically abusive. It’s important you don’t put yourself in danger so may want her to leave quite quickly. You can give notice verbally or in writing.
Once any notice period has ended, you are within your rights to change the locks. You can’t use any physical force to make her leave, because, in doing so, you might be committing a criminal offence. It isn’t a good idea to throw her things out either, because she could sue you if they were stolen or damaged. If your girlfriend refuses to leave or is violent towards you, you might want to try to ask the police to escort her from the property.
Finally, charging your girlfriend rent is a big step, because you would become her landlord and would have more formal responsibilities towards her. It could also affect your mortgage so it might be useful for you to get help from a local advice service to work through your current situation, in order to decide which option is best for you^.

PhelanThePain · 25/02/2018 14:11

It really depends. It could be all for child related costs.

MyBoysAndI · 25/02/2018 14:12

.

LaurenCooper · 25/02/2018 14:13

Totally agree with PollyPerky 's last post!

cadburyegg · 25/02/2018 14:14

Well we live in a decent sized 3 bed semi in an expensive area of the country and 50% of our bills is less than £300, not including formula.

But tbh it’s unlikely that the bf would bother pursuing things on the legal side.

I would be surprised if the police agreed to get involved, it’s a civil matter as there’s no abuse and no children are in danger.

PollyPerky · 25/02/2018 14:14

Curious your link actually proves the point that he can apply to live there for a while as they have a child together.

I don't think you have read the entire link you left. You seem to have only chosen the points that apply to a tenancy agreement with the council.

You 'list' is a work of your imagination where you have read something them paraphrased it using your own opinions. Read your own link!

Flutterbyeee · 25/02/2018 14:15

Despite what you are being advused and as long as you do not feel you or the children are in danger, be aware that if you call the police Social Services will be notified.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/02/2018 14:16

Totally agree with PollyPerky 's last post!

Which say nothing different from my advice, just a different emphasis, one that will only scare OP more, especially as much of the quoted passage has nothing to do with the OPs situation!

A single person, with no formal partnership arrangement or lien on a house can be asked to leave with 'reasonable' (ie very little) notice.

£400 a month could easily be assigned to food, stuff for the baby and NOTHING to do with the running of the house!

Ruffian · 25/02/2018 14:18

Reasonable is not a legal definition and, for a lodger, 24 hours can be seen as reasonable

In what world would it be considered 'reasonable' for someone to get out with all their belongings and find another place to live??

Ruffian · 25/02/2018 14:19

That person also being the Father of the child and partner of the house owner, not just a lodger

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/02/2018 14:19

Curious your link actually proves the point that he can apply to live there for a while as they have a child together. Yes dear, I know. That's why I have used words like 'no automatic rights' and pointed out that he would have to have been thrown out BEFORE he could apply for any order....

Much as you suspect I haven't read all that I linked to I suspect that is down to a difference in interpretation, as I said above!

The bottom line is that OPs ex is displaying a rather bullying attitude and she has options open to her. Telling her otherwise is counterproductive... unless you think she should be forced to keep him??!!

cadburyegg · 25/02/2018 14:21

If bf is paying £400 a month just towards stuff for the baby and food for himself, I hope that they are having steak and wine most nights and that the baby is clothed head to toe in Polarn O. Pyret

Battleax · 25/02/2018 14:21

. I don't want police at my door.

Well WTF are you posting for then?

You think we’re all going to form a vigilante eviction squad because you have some stupid, folksy ideas about “police at my door”?

(That’s a thing that people who were proud not to be part of the semi-criminal classes used to say, BTW. Isn’t stop saying it if I were you.)

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/02/2018 14:22

In what world would it be considered 'reasonable' for someone to get out with all their belongings and find another place to live?? Did you red every word you copied - can be it is all down to the situation and, in law, sometimes 24 hours is enough notice - usually where there is violence or damage!

LaurenCooper · 25/02/2018 14:22

I don't think how much he's been paying is relevant, he agreed to pay it at the time. Too late for him to quibble now.

tafftum · 25/02/2018 14:25

@Battleax "vigilante eviction squad" Grin

Battleax · 25/02/2018 14:27

Well seriously.

Do you ever people say “I don’t want the fire brigade at my door!” when there’s a fire? 🙄

PollyPerky · 25/02/2018 14:28

Curious yes I did read every word. I'm a fast reader. And accurate :)

The OP says nothing about violence. In fact he is sitting smiling :)

Did you read every word of the link you left?

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