Boyfriend won't leave MY house

[FirstTimeMama18]

I have told my boyfriend to leave my house and he's refusing. I own the house outright myself.

We have an 8 week old DD and he has a DS from previous relationship. Our relationship has been very whirlwind, fell pregnant very quickly etc. We have done nothing but argue since I gave birth and I have had enough. Too much stress and don't feel supported.

I asked him to leave last night, he did but came back this morning and is refusing to leave now. His son is with him, he's sitting on my sofa smirking telling me he's going no where and to call the police.. I don't want police at my door.

He pays me £400 towards bills but like I said, I own my home outright. Do I have to give him notice to leave? How do I get him to leave without calling the police?

This needs planning, he needs somewhere to go and you need to be reasonable. he's not a lodger but he is your child's father.

I agree with this. And sitting on a sofa smirking is hardly a criminal offence.

In any case, doesn't a spouse who does not legally own the family home have certain rights of occupation?

Won't you consider help? This means he will have 2 children with 2 women and no relationship with either. Not great for anyone especially the kids.

Isn't that his problem? It's not down to the OP to fix him.

PollyPerky makes a fair point. There is good info about rights when a relationship ends on the citizens advice website. Have a look here
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/if-you-were-living-together/your-ex-partner-is-trying-to-make-you-leave/
If there is any hint of violence then of course seek help from appropriate sources such as the police but otherwise it needs a bit of negotiating...

He’s not a spouse. He is a boyfriend. If he wanted a legal claim on OPs house he should have married her.

The police will be sensitive to the fact there's a child there. I would call the son's Mother up and tell her that I was going to call the police....so she had a chance to come and remove him.

Then I'd call police.

Why don’t you want the police involved?

It sounds like he knows this and is using it against you?

Just because she owns the house doesn't mean he can leave with no notice at all. I think she should give him an ultimatum and notice period on him leaving before phoning the police personally. He might not have anywhere to go!

Just call the police. If they do turn out to be unhelpful, arrange for a local locksmith to come round as soon as he goes out.

If it's a standard barrel lock you can even do it yourself - take out the screw in the edge of the door, pull the barrel out and measure it (most are a bit longer on one side and you want the same measurement), if you can take the barrel out you can change it easily. Go to any DIY shop and buy new locks, come back, take the old lock out, put the new key in the new lock and turn it till everything is aligned (easy - put there are tutorials on YT if you want a visual) then put it in place and put the screw back. I did it, took me 2 minutes to swap them over.

Bide your time, when he next leaves take all his stuff to his closest relatives and change the locks.

Sort out access via the family member also if they would be willing. If not meet up at a public location so he can't get back in.

^PollyPerky makes a fair point. There is good info about rights when a relationship ends on the citizens advice website. Have a look here
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/if-you-were-living-together/your-ex-partner-is-trying-to-make-you-leave/^

I KNOW I'm right :)

You can't turf someone out if it's their home, they have possessions there and there is no violence. They have lived there for some time. They haven't paid rent as as formal tenant but they have paid you. This can create a kind of contract. You have to be reasonable. A letter with a date of leaving from a solicitor is one way.

People worrying about the op being harsh, she isn't! it's this kind of women always need to be nice and sort everyone else out and put up with crap that keeps women downtrodden.

He is an able bodied person he can sort himself out.

Changing locks is expensive if you pay a locksmith, you can just buy the barrels in diy stores and do them quite easily.

Why don’t you want the police involved?

Public embarrassment? No-one wants the neighbours to see a police car pulling up outside. But it's not the kind of thing people remember for long.

Call the police, change the locks.

Forgot to add that I disagree with the general opinion here and that of the Police officer.
I don't think this is a Police matter, he will have to leave and in the mean time you can pack up his belongings. He isn't being violent, he's just being a cocky shit as he doesn't think you will follow through with it.

Call the police but do it where he can't hear you, it's not unheard of for men to get violent when the police are called (voice of experience there)

Isn't that his problem? It's not down to the OP to fix him.

Not talking about him- talking about THEIR child.

How is any of this OPs fault?

They have lived there for some time.

It sounds like they have been together for less than a year. We don't know how long he's been there. He may only have moved in since the baby was born.

It's not OP's responsibility to think of where he can go or if he has anywhere

Ring the police

He is an able bodied person he can sort himself out.

Yes but a reasonable person would not kick a long term partner out overnight without some sensible planning. If he's done nothing wrong other than not being supportive, why can't he stay for a week or two till he finds a room?

I've answered my own question by looking on the Shelter website—and no, you cannot just tell someone you are living with to leave, whether you own the house or not—you have to give reasonable notice (normally a month).

Do I get this right: you were bkth livubg together, have just had a child, the house us yours and your boyfriend is paying you £400/ month towards bills.

You have every right to ask him to leave but really unless he was violent and/or abusive you should give him some time to sort out somewhere to stay. I woukd give hin a deadline of a couple of weeks - you can always get tge policr involved then.

Well now this is interesting.

So many threads where the man had tried to chuck woman and child put the house and it's all get a solicitor you have a right to stay.

Woman tries to chuck man and child out the house and it's all phone the police and get him out.

I've answered my own question by looking on the Shelter website—and no, you cannot just tell someone you are living with to leave, whether you own the house or not—you have to give reasonable notice (normally a month).

Exactly. So maybe some posters should stop reacting and start to think a bit. I've been saying this all along.

Not talking about him- talking about THEIR child.

Yes, their 8 week old baby. The OP says his only contribution has been to argue with her since she was born, and childcare is left up to her. So how is letting him stay in her home going to improve any of that? Actually, their relationship stands a bit more of a chance if he gives her some room to breathe. And the OP has very little power over what kind of a father he will turn out to be, that's all down to him.