These posts and both the reactions of op and her mother are very odd to me.
"Ds has been very naughty",
"Ds has been badly behaved",
"Ds needs to apologise", why is the blame being put on a 4 year old and why is HE now being punished??
Dm & df lost ur son for 20 mins, sounds like she then told him he was naughty, as soon as they get in the door she leaves ds (that she has just lost and is devesated about that fact) to go to bed instead of making sure he was OK emotionally, you then make him apologise to dm (which apparently isn't good enough as she's still hiding away), hes not having a promised movie night and now he's gone to bed thinking he's a naughty boy? When all he's actually done wrong is to not do good listening?
The only person I feel sorry for is your ds. Being on his own, lost for 20mins would be very scary, (my dd would be petrified if she was on her own for half that time) if not traumatic. I could understand more if ur dm had grabbed ur ds on first finding him and shouting "don't u ever do that again" but then it should be dropped, end of, move on a little bit wiser (and feeling a hell of alot older)
Im not being unsympathetic either, I 'lost' my dd wen she was 2. We were on holiday and I was putting something away wen dd decided 2 sneak out of the caravan. It must have been 15 mins between realising she was gone, searching the caravan (in case this was some not so funny game of hide & seek) and then eventually finding her sobbing her heart out 3 rows of caravans away with a group of teenage girls who had thankfully grabbed hold of her and were trying to contact an adult for help. In the time it took me to admit to myself she wasnt in the caravan and finding her I was imagining the worst things ever and trying 2 remember wot she was wearing because I was just about to phone the police. So I am well aware how upsetting & scary it is however, its not about ur feelings as an adult its about looking after and reassuring ur little 1 who has no capacity 2 think rationally even after the danger has passed. ie an adult may think 'he could have been hit by a car, no that's silly there are no cars in the park where as a child may be thinking "omg that noise was a big bear in the bushes and it was going to growl at me and scratch me and eat me and and and"
Your dm needs to get over it and think how she will stop this from happening again (if there is an again), u need 2 calm down, relax and stop thinking ur being punished (ur not) and some1 needs to slap ur df (verbally) for letting a 4yo out of his sight wen df couldn't see the other responsible adult.
Leave 2morrow if u wish but do be aware that if ur dm is assuming u r pissed at her this will only cement that thought in her mind and it would probably be better to sort all this out and not let it fester
X