To ask what you'd think about someone who had a baby at 14

[Applestrawberryblackcurrant]

Would this make you want to give the person a wide birth? Or would you not be bothered. Asking for friend.

*said = sad.

I understand why a parent wouldn't want to see their teenager becoming a parent so early because it is hard but it isn't the end of the world.

Shouldn't force an abortion of course, but advise.

No-one is forcing anyone in this scenario. It is just the best route. Again, what type of mother can a 14yr old be? And for all those who became president of the world there are thousands that struggled with growing up, working and being independent. These are things you cannot expect of a 14 year old.

I would never judge a minor for having a child. I would feel very sorry for them and be concerned but I'd never consider giving them a "wide berth" they need support - being pregnant, giving birth and being a mother is tough at any age.

I would never encourage an abortion. I would make her aware that that was an option, however I would ensure she knew that I would support her if she chose to have the baby and that that would be an option too. Having a baby at such a young age is not an easy decision to make, however neither is an abortion. I would not want my daughter to look back and think that I had played a part in her having an abortion she regrets.

I'd think 'Poor little bugger, I hope everything works out for her and the baby.'

I had sex when I was 14, so if I'd been very unlucky I could have got pregnant then. I managed to avoid childbirth for another 20 years.

I don't think any of us should judge.

I knew someone at school who was pregnant at 14. Staunchly Catholic family and greatly ignorant about facts of life. She was to be pitied, not judged. 20 years later though she did get her education albeit in a roundabout way and has a good job. I think I would still feel predominantly pity if it were now.

So surprised to hear people talk about abortion as the best option ! Surely any loving mother would want to care for both their daughter and grandchild. My mum certainly made it clear to me that she would and I would do so for Dd unhesitatingly.

I'd hope that too tbh BertrandRussell. Unfortunately, dcs don't always do what we hope. Sometimes they do really stupid things like getting pregnant at 14. I'd hope, in that situation I'd support my child, regardless. And I'd hope not to meet many people with their judgy pants hoiked up so far about how I coped with it...

A young mother can actually be a very good mother and can be even better than an older mother.

Some older mothers struggle and are awful mothers.

" I would not want my daughter to look back and think that I had played a part in her having an abortion she regrets"
No. But I wouldn't want her to look back and think I had played a part in her having a baby she regrets either. There are no good solutions. Only least worst ones.

My sister had my niece at 14. She wasn’t poorly parented or raped. My niece is now 23, doing her Masters at an RG Uni. My sister busted her ass at school and sixth form and has had a very successful career without a degree - she is an area manager for a nationwide retailer. Nieces Dad has always been around, and had her 40% of the time until she reached adulthood and it naturally changed. Obviously it caused a huge scandal at the time, and I get that this isn’t the norm for 14 year old parents.

@Stillwishihadabs any loving parent would want the best for their child in whatever situation they find themselves in. That could just as well be an abortion as it might be to have the baby. Depends on the child and the parents, you can't make a blanket assumption like that.

Vlad - they don't stay 14 forever. You do a lot of growing up when you become a parent. And less judgemental if you do it early, it seems.

I would feel sorry for her and hope she has a lot of support around her to help her become a brilliant parent.

'Surely any loving mother would want to care for both their daughter and grandchild. '

So you're not a 'loving mother' if you don't want to parent yet another baby or cannot due to financial constraints? I love my kids, but nope, I don't want to care for another baby, that's why DH had the snip. And cannot afford to go back to that stage financially or mentally.

I think we can all respectfully disagree. But at 14 - the child needs to be in a hospital getting an abortion. Not shopping for babygros at Mothercare.

At what age would 'get an abortion' not be your response?

They need support and norba wide berth.

If that was really the best option for her, of course I would supportive, but people saying abortion is obvisiously the best option is surprising to me. Plenty of mums of fourteen year olds are still of child bearing age and for me adding another baby on the end of my family -reasonable common in big catholic families is massively preferable to aborting- I am surprised this isn't the consensus view.

Not a wide berth of course.

I wouldn't judge or doubt her ability as a mum just because of her age. I would just support her through it and hope her baby brings her lots of happiness and joy.

BertrandRussell, you obviously didn't read my post then as I said I would make sure it was an option. You have a habit of twisting my posts on threads without reading!