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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask for trans threads to stay in Feminism?

345 replies

yawning801 · 23/02/2018 17:11

Just that, really. This isn't meant to start a debate, or be goady in any way. I've just hidden the Feminism board to avoid the trans threads but they're seeping into AIBU (like this one I suppose Grin) and other places too and I'm trying to avoid them! Can we keep trans threads in Feminism please? TIA

OP posts:
Helpimfalling · 23/02/2018 17:56

Will hold your hand and get burnt in the fire with you though

Lovesagin · 23/02/2018 17:57

Funny isn't it, an unexpected trans thread makes people upset/angry/whatever, yet unexpected penis is absolutely dandy?

toomanyweeds · 23/02/2018 17:58

Beetlejizz would you like to specify exactly who you are calling a "dim hand maiden"?

HotCrossBunFight · 23/02/2018 18:01

Am unexpected trans thread is just dull not anger inducing.There's no debate. Most women seem to agree on the issue. Its just poster after poster saying the same thing.

The only ones of use are where people are actually planning to take action.

PositivelyPERF · 23/02/2018 18:01

TIMs are:

a bunch of radicalised cronies

bonkers

bigots

woman haters

I’m sure I can add a few more insults, as the thread goes on. Those words are perfectly acceptable to describe feminists on this thread, so I’m sure I’m not breaking any Mumsnet rules by recycling them to describe others. Am I MNHQ? I’m sure I’ll be reported for a ‘hate crime’ any minute now.

FaithHopeCharityDesperation · 23/02/2018 18:02

YABU.

I don't make an active effort to go onto the feminism section - gender critique & the like only have a passing interest for me.

The current self ID issue though is something I am extremely interested in, and I was introduced to this, and the TRA hostile takeover & appropriation of the true transsexuals' situation & fight against discrimination by clicking onto threads in aibu.

Xulishesthepilot · 23/02/2018 18:03

Ooh, ooh, one of those is mine! What do I win? Is it the erosion of women's rights? I bet you'll tell me it is.

hereyougosuckmyassforensics · 23/02/2018 18:04

It's the same shit over and over again, just thread after thread of the same regurgitated opinion.

Many of us are sick to fucking death of the topic and have complained to MNHQ but the answer is always "no". I wonder how many more people are going to ask or start threads before they listen.

Keep hiding the threads but they're popping up all over the place now. And then the "feminists" come along in completely unrelated topics and manage to change the subject there too.

Newsflash - we don't all like to talk about trans issues and it's not the be all and end all of my life like some of you on here.

Beetlejizz · 23/02/2018 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TableShack · 23/02/2018 18:05

Yanbu

picklemepopcorn · 23/02/2018 18:07

Things affected by self ID:

Parenting
Children's health
School
Sport
Statistics
Prison
Refuges
Counselling
Domestic violence survivors
Women
Men
Adult health
Mental health
Toilets
Mosques
Temples
Religion
Vicars
Jobs
Pay
...
...
...

I'm getting bored now, but I know I've left loads off.

Will all those areas fit in Feminism?

PositivelyPERF · 23/02/2018 18:07

What do I win? if you open your mind and actually read about the genuine concerns of many women regarding self ID, you might actually win an education.

MrsFogi · 23/02/2018 18:08

YABVU the AIBU topic is deliberately a very wide title (as is Chat) and I think it would be as unreasonable to exclude trans discussions on it as it would be to exclude a tread about pets/education/special needs/childbirth/anything that could potentially go in another MN topic. The difference is that people that post in AIBU must realise and accept that they are more likely to be met with "challenging" responses that they would necessarily encounter if they posted in a more specialised topic where there may (or may not) be more like-minded/understanding MNers. The great things about the wider topics is that sometimes they broaden our horizons - this has certainly been my experience on MN and if I click a thread and find I disagree/don't want to engage, I close it and move on.

Lovesagin · 23/02/2018 18:08

Are people on here saying they are annoying etc policing the rest of mn for repeat threads? Surely there's yet another "my baby won't sleep" thread you can monitor?

BeesAndChiscuits · 23/02/2018 18:09

I wish the debate could be a bit more nuanced. That we’d hear more voices saying that we need to protect vulnerable women and that we need to ensure that people with gender dysphoria. That it’s not just a bunch of men’s rights activists making a point, but also some people who, having suffered the stress and pain of gender dysphoria, and the awkwardness and indignities involved in changing the way they present themselves to the world, have more bureaucracy than is comfortable to add to the mix.

It’s not straightforward. There are vulnerable people on both sides. I agree with a lot of the commentary on protecting women and ensuring we have safe spaces, and I know someone who is transgender who also acknowledges this. The reason I hide the threads is because of the polarisation, the them-and-us, the deliberate use of pronouns that people don’t want to be used to describe them.

Yes, I know my transgender acquaintance has XY chromosomes, yes, I know that this person is no more “literally” a woman than I am “literally” a potato, but if she wants to be called she, and a female name, then of course I will oblige her, and frankly it’s none of my business what surgery she has or has not had.

I just want the debate to be a bit more nuanced, that’s all. That’s why I don’t hang out on the feminist boards any more, and tend to hide anything mentioning trans, as it seems to be a magnet for people who like an outrage-fest, and the sensible points about women’s safe spaces are lost in the noise of people poking fun at Lily Madigan.

Xulishesthepilot · 23/02/2018 18:10

I've read about them. I don't agree with them. Now I'm done with them (mostly).

HotCrossBunFight · 23/02/2018 18:10

There's far more trans threads than any other topic in my experience. Areas babies sleeping or annoying neighbours have slight differences.

ThePrincipal · 23/02/2018 18:11

Yabvu

AnxiousPeg · 23/02/2018 18:13

hereyougo

That's quite a long-winded way of saying very little.

Can you explain why you don't give a fuck about women's rights or children being given life-altering drugs, or women's sport being ruined? Any info would help.

Dobbythesockelf · 23/02/2018 18:16

Trans threads make me uncomfortable too tbh. I have no issue with certain points that are made but some of the posters that crop up time and time again are just horrible. I personally think the vast majority of trans people are massively cut off from society, judged regularly and victimised on a daily basis. There is a small number of people who spout shit about access to changing rooms, the female penis etc but these are a minority and I think it could be damaging to group these people together. If we start presuming that all trans women are wannabe rapists etc then more and more trans people are going to sink into depression/suicide. Of course I'm sure I will now be told that I am a handmaidens or some other derogatory name because I don't agree with the idea that all trans people are horrible misogynistic arseholes.

Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2018 18:16

Just because you don't want to discuss subjects ad nauseum on Mumsnet it doesn't mean you 'don't give a fuck' about them.

Randomname234 · 23/02/2018 18:17

Well said Beesandchiscuits.

Does anyone know how to actually hide the whole board on a phone? Or do you have to use the Web? If its even possible? It's so easy to be sucked in to these echo chambers and I can't be bothered any more.

Bejazzled · 23/02/2018 18:18

It isn't purely a feminist issue. All women - including mothers and daughters of whom there are many on mumsnet should be aware of the trans-threat to womens rights

Yabvvu

Willswife · 23/02/2018 18:18

I'm actually grateful for the threads. Curiosity over the sheer volume of them made me open one and as it turns out I'm actually quite appalled about selfID and the potential consequences of it.

I am not transphobic at all, but selfID is something different IMO and it leaves women vulnerable.

I think it needs more discussion and more publicity.

itsgettinghotinhere80 · 23/02/2018 18:18

YABVU, and ignorant. It potentially affects pretty much all aspects of life. As a parent of both sexes I'm very concerned about it

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