The main problem (I think) is that there are issues that need discussing, but the hatred spills out and makes it look like it's transphobia disguised as concern.
For example, the recent thread on trans woman taking drugs to be able to breastfeed, concern for whether the breast milk was checked for drugs that were used to induced gender reassignment is a valid concern but then people start chiming in that the trans woman must have bullied the birth mother into not breast feeding and that the trans woman MUST have a sexual fetish and is a sick pervert for involving the baby. Maybe they were actually just wanting to feed their baby? And maybe, like the majority of uk women the woman who gave birth didn't want to breastfeed? Crazy right??
Similarly , the self -ID issue , should be discussed , but saying all men who change gender past the age of 30 aren't "real" trans and have a fetish (the auto-gyne-whatsit that ive only heard of on Mumsnet?) Is ridiculous and is pretty transphobic. I'm sure there is a few perves and mentally ill who need therapy not gender reassignment but stating ALL of them are just doing it for sexual kicks?? Pretty offensive.
Last example, lily Madigan. Might be a twat for all I know, and her position as a women's officer and questionable tweets is valid to discuss, but deliberately calling her "him" and deadnaming her doesn't add to your argument it makes you look like a bigot.
Oh actually, I have one more. I have seen time and time again, people on here insisting a trans woman will NEVER pass and therefore women will always be uncomfortable sharing toilets with them. And if they don't say it they are just being polite. Absolute bollocks.
If you want to convince people your not transphobic, state facts stay polite and don't pull up extremists from tumbler as if they represent the trans majority.