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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is the worst thing you've ever said during sex?

84 replies

mammyoftwo · 23/02/2018 07:38

Ok, I'll go first......I mean a friend, a friend said this......."touch my hair and I'll punch you in the face" after getting a haircut and really wanting it to last another day without washing.......

OP posts:
SavageBeauty73 · 23/02/2018 09:27

I called him the wrong name.

Djnoun · 23/02/2018 09:28

I think the cat just farted

Thisnamechanger · 23/02/2018 09:28

Made a sort of pirate noise...

Maddiemademe · 23/02/2018 09:34

"Nibble on my nipples again and I will bite your bollocks!" To be fair, I have very sensitive nipples and my ex knew that so it was fair.

ClashCityRocker · 23/02/2018 09:35

'shall we get a takeaway for tea?'

GladAllOver · 23/02/2018 09:38

"Don't stop now! "
But to be fair, it was the second round.

Dljlr · 23/02/2018 09:41

"You can't be done already" said in genuine surprise. He was, and I felt terrible!

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 23/02/2018 09:43

You are joking?.
After a particularly quick session.....

GetsPostByOwl · 23/02/2018 09:50

"Lemme up! I'm gonna be sick!"

Food poisoning. He thought he'd pretty much killed me when I ended up stark naked in the foetal position on the bathroom floor clutching my stomach in agony.

branstonbaby · 23/02/2018 09:58

'Is it in yet?'

In my defense, I was exceptionally drunk and have no recollection

He was understandably rather pissed off at me the next day...

catfishsally · 23/02/2018 10:07

hurry up

beepthemeep · 23/02/2018 10:17

Not me, but said to a friend. She had been trying to seduce her colleague for the best part of a year. It finally happened at the Christmas party. Sadly she was seriously drunk. She remembers starting to have sex and then she remembers him saying:

"Juliette. We must stop. You are sleeping!!!"

She assured him she wasn't and it was wonderful and told him to carry on - but she woke up several hours later... very hungover... and very much alone!

Lobsterquadrille2 · 23/02/2018 10:22

Was that it? 😳

Ladymadness · 23/02/2018 10:26

"Hold your weight or get the fuck off me!" He would flop ontop of me like fucking sea lion and hump away. My back was in agony ! It felt like my spine was the only thing moving

LegallyBrunet · 23/02/2018 10:27

My OH has accidentally called me by the nickname his son has for me. That was a mood killer.

PatsyClineSilVousPlait · 23/02/2018 10:55

Jurassic Park!

Original poster
mammyoftwo · 23/02/2018 11:14

LOVE these!

OP posts:
Original poster
mammyoftwo · 23/02/2018 11:15

I mean my friend, my friend loves these!! Grin

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 23/02/2018 11:18

'Sorry, but you have to go, this is no good and I would rather be sleeping'

Said by me to a ONS many years ago. I lived in a particularly rough part of the city and he had no clue where we were. I did give him directions to the very close taxi office though.

He was shit at sex!

dantdmistedious · 23/02/2018 11:19

Is that it?

Bindibot · 23/02/2018 11:19

Shit, I forgot to put eggs on the (on line) order.

Luckily we’ve been together a (long) time so both collapsed laughing.

UpstartCrow · 23/02/2018 11:20

PatsyClineSilVousPlait I feel more information is needed...fess up!

OakIsBetterTho · 23/02/2018 11:23

OH god just stop, get off, that'll do.

Worst. Sex. Ever.

ToadOfSadness · 23/02/2018 11:24

You have to stop, I have a pain.

After a dodgy MacDonalds in Barbados, I don't think he believed me.

UpstartCrow · 23/02/2018 11:24

For the purposes of this thread does a spectacular queef count?