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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So, I'm one of 'those' mums...

380 replies

Tootsings · 22/02/2018 21:57

I worship the ground my DS walks on and I don't know how to stop myself Blush

I watched a video titled "To the love of my son's life" in Facebook - basically an emotional video with emotion prodding music, telling the mysterious girl or boy that I'm doing my best to make him into a lovely young man. One day he will want to spend his days off work with you, will want to spend time with you blah blah, but right now he needs and wants me".

Goes on to say how proud I will be on the wedding day and how I promise to love you too, for you are the person he's chosen, etc etc

I watched the video crying and then felt a sudden rage that one day someone would be stealing my DS from me!

One day I won't be the only woman in his life! (Providing he's straight)

Another woman will fill his heart with love Angry

Is this how those MIL threads come about, from horrendous mums like me? Blush

I think I'm a bit obsessed. I iron his vests and feel slight guilt if he's forced to wear one I haven't ironed. Even if you can't see it under his immaculately ironed things.

How do I get a grip?

I tell DH I can't have any more children, in terrible fear they won't live up to my magical DS and his amazing charms and looks.

I realise I must be quite unhinged but at least I have the good grace to admit it... I think

OP posts:
Original poster
Tootsings · 23/02/2018 08:21

Blue they're quite a bit older I suppose. Don't know, never really given it much thought

OP posts:
Bluedoglead · 23/02/2018 08:21

You need friends your own age. Going out. Having fun. Don’t make yourself old before your time.

Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2018 08:23

I think you need to find some different groups. How many have you been to?
It will get easier to make friends as the baby gets older, you could do Tumble Tots or the music time type ones.
Then there will be the parents you meet at Nursery/preschool and then school.

Original poster
Tootsings · 23/02/2018 08:25

Why? I have a lot in common with current friends and enjoy their company.

Obviously this won't be true for every Mum my age but I find I don't have much in common with the ones I have met. They usually don't have a DH, etc etc

OP posts:
Bluedoglead · 23/02/2018 08:25

Ok whatever works for you

KimchiLaLa · 23/02/2018 08:26

Are you my MIL? 😂

Itmakesthereaderreadon · 23/02/2018 08:30

Wait until he's 8 and making stupid jokes, stupid noises and trying to mansplain to you. Along with refusing to brush teeth/wash face and explaining why everything his sister watches on tv is ridiculous. I'm more worried no one will ever want him!

Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2018 08:32

The biggest thing you have in common with other mums is having a baby.

ML goes so quickly, I couldn't believe it. Who will be looking after the baby when you go back to work?

geekone · 23/02/2018 08:37

I adore my son but as pp have said they do increasingly become annoying enough that you can live without them for a while.

I love my parents but I knew I loved my child more the second I laid eyes on him for the first few month it made me sad to know I would always love him more than he loves me. It's biological that love protects them until they no longer need protecting and then you can holiday in the Bahamas and drink 🍹

notwonderwoman · 23/02/2018 08:38

It's interesting how it's always mothers with sons who feel like this !

OP you sound like my MIL except my DP is 36 . She refuses to have any more children because she 'couldn't love another' as much as she loves him Confused

mrsprefect · 23/02/2018 08:39

Sounds normal to me OP GrinDS is three months and I cried at that video too. I have a husband who is still a massive mum's boy, I used to be a bit Hmm but now I just hope DS follows in his dad's big mummy loving footsteps!

The ironing is weird though. I iron for no-one Wink

geekone · 23/02/2018 08:39

Itmakesthereaderreadon yes mansplaining at 8 how did I not see this before lol

Gowgirl · 23/02/2018 08:40

Dont judge them all by the same way, with groups the trick is to smile and talk to everyone, some are struggling but most are just tired! The trick is to find someone you have a bit in common with then suggest meeting up somewhere else!
Groups are there for chitchat and coffee, use them as a jumping off point.
Toddlers are wonderfull but also hellishly isolating and annoying to people not in the toddler zone, 18 m from now that friend you made in babygroup will be a life line.

Plus ironing sucks, i would pay someone to do mine and i only do the minimum...

OohMavis · 23/02/2018 08:42

Come back to this thread in two years OP Grin you'll love him just as much, but you'll also know that he can be a right little turd sometimes.

I think this thread is quite lovely. It's made me want to squeeze 7yo DS a bit tighter this afternoon.

LittleLionMansMummy · 23/02/2018 08:43

Wait. You iron his vests?

mummmy2017 · 23/02/2018 08:51

Sorry but I have tears of laughter rolling down my face.
This is just mother natures way of making sure your son is cared for, it creates the bond to help you NOT kill him when he comes in drunk and smelling of smoke at 16, with some girls lipstick all over his face and his shirt hanging out.
Or the day at 5 he stands in the shop and sweeps all the stacked food onto the floor and then screams the place down because you don't have £100 to buy the man's electric razor he saw in blue and that he wants, even if it would cut his face to ribbons.

Have fun, this too wil pass, baby's smell lovely.

rocketgirl22 · 23/02/2018 09:10

Once his room honks of sweaty feet and BO and some other unidentifiable stench, he speaks to you with one word answers and fails to look up from his SM to acknowledge your perfectly ironed vests you will look back on your days now as the golden years.

You will be the apple of his eye until he gets an iphone and then many ladies (or men) will be the apple of his eye long before his future wife has made an appearance.

The love you describe will not be so acute forever, but if it is I feel sorry for him (and future wife) no one will feel comfortable living under that level of obsession!

ssd · 23/02/2018 09:11

ach well, I must be daft and hormonal too...I feel the same op and my eldest is nearly 20 Grin, with a lovely girlfriend we adore and a busy life

I want to be ironing his vests but he stopped wearing them 18 years ago

Gowgirl · 23/02/2018 09:16

My 11yr old stinks and has to be told to shower, lynx is apparently enough, he also grunts at my while staring at you tube on his phone, however sometimes when he brings me a cup of tea and gives my a big cuddle, or takes the little two up to his room to play lego for an hour i can see a flash of him as a grown up, he will be a kind man and make a partner very happy.
Just got to do teenaged boy first....i have 2 younger brothers and am already steeling myself.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 23/02/2018 09:17

My mum used to say how, when she had my brother (first born), she looked round the ward and felt so sorry for all the other mums as, clearly, they were envious as mum had the most beautiful and charming baby Grin.

He’s 37 now and certainly no saint. He was still the apple of her eye though when she died, bless her.

moita · 23/02/2018 09:21

I don't iron any of his clothes but yes, I feel this way about my one year old Blush I think it's normal surely? The love gets you through the lack of sleep, explosive nappies, teething etc.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 23/02/2018 09:22

Also, when DBro and I were little, my granny used to joke that she didn’t know who he was going to marry, but she hated her already. He did get married and she did hate the poor woman. They’ve just got divorced actually- dbro left the family including young dcs for an OW who he met at work. Cue granny doing somersaults to somehow make it dbro’s Ex wife’s fault Hmm.

moita · 23/02/2018 09:26

Cue granny doing somersaults to somehow make it dbro’s Ex wife’s fault hmm

That's awful and really sad.....as much as I love DS I never want to turn in to THAT MIL.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 23/02/2018 09:32

Very sad @moita. I love my granny, but she can be a total bitch at times too. That sounds awful, but if you knew her you’d probably agree!

Ex sil is doing fine now though and dbro and she seem to co-parent pretty successfully now that the dust has settled. Very sad situation though.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 23/02/2018 09:37

This thread makes me think of Norman and norma Bates. Crazy.

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