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Original poster

So, I'm one of 'those' mums...

380 replies

Tootsings · 22/02/2018 21:57

I worship the ground my DS walks on and I don't know how to stop myself Blush

I watched a video titled "To the love of my son's life" in Facebook - basically an emotional video with emotion prodding music, telling the mysterious girl or boy that I'm doing my best to make him into a lovely young man. One day he will want to spend his days off work with you, will want to spend time with you blah blah, but right now he needs and wants me".

Goes on to say how proud I will be on the wedding day and how I promise to love you too, for you are the person he's chosen, etc etc

I watched the video crying and then felt a sudden rage that one day someone would be stealing my DS from me!

One day I won't be the only woman in his life! (Providing he's straight)

Another woman will fill his heart with love Angry

Is this how those MIL threads come about, from horrendous mums like me? Blush

I think I'm a bit obsessed. I iron his vests and feel slight guilt if he's forced to wear one I haven't ironed. Even if you can't see it under his immaculately ironed things.

How do I get a grip?

I tell DH I can't have any more children, in terrible fear they won't live up to my magical DS and his amazing charms and looks.

I realise I must be quite unhinged but at least I have the good grace to admit it... I think

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 23/02/2018 07:26
Chugalug · 23/02/2018 07:32

Hay don't worry it won't last ...I promise 🙄..wait till he hits the toldder stage .

NerrSnerr · 23/02/2018 07:36

It's fine to think like this now, but please listen to the MIL anecdotes so you get a grip before he grows up. My son is an only child and my MIL will not accepts that he's a married man in his late 30s.

ColdBurntToast · 23/02/2018 07:38

I'm sorry, but this is a bit weird really, and you need to make sure you don't smother your son when he's older

Jealous of another woman because she might marry your son? She's probably in nappies!

I find it creepy that you feel another woman will someday "steal" your son. I can't relate to this feeling at all, sorry.

Do mothers of daughters feel jealousy of the men who may someday "steal" their daughters? Thought not

PeapodBurgundy · 23/02/2018 07:39

Sanity will return somewhat as he gets older OP :-)

Original poster
Tootsings · 23/02/2018 07:47

You’re in your late teens. You’re married. With a baby.

That’s unusual these days. Was there familial pressure on you to conform to an expected role?

I'm 20 now, but no. Christ alive no Grin

OP posts:
Calmingvibrations · 23/02/2018 07:49

All I can think of is, you iron his clothes 😜?!! I’m a bit in awe, I don’t even know where the iron is.

I think it’s probably a lot to do with hormones, he’s still so little. Plus I find with a baby you have too much time on your hands to think. No time to actually do anything but too much time to think.

malificent7 · 23/02/2018 07:52

All of you worried he will fall in love with someine else..weird Oedipus complex!!!

You want him to be happy right?! That happiness dosnt mean being alone.
However noone wants their baby to grow up!!

malificent7 · 23/02/2018 07:56

noone would be good enough??? Massive eye roll!

Fwiw i was convinced i was goibg ti have a sharp stick to fend off boys when dd was a baby.

I was actually proud when she got her 1st valentine card!

malificent7 · 23/02/2018 07:58

Why is there pressure to marry at 20? op is an adult! Young mums get looked down on ...on here.

Passthesalt1 · 23/02/2018 08:00

I did a belly laugh at 4 months lol, don’t worry those hormones will fade and you’ll be glad someone else will be filling him with love too.

X

Original poster
Tootsings · 23/02/2018 08:00

I still don’t get how you can say you worship the ground your Ds Walks on when he isn’t bloody walking

I honestly thought it was just an figure of speech Confused

I used to iron vests and muslins. I'm not even sorry

I didn't think to iron his muslins! I feel quite annoyed at myself for not doing so. This will be a new thing for me now Wink

Her 'home' picture on her phone is an album-cover-style photo of her and (my) DH who is forty fucking five in an embrace. She says, 'he's still my boy'. She's not that interested in either of my boys her only grandchildren

Her home screen is a pic of them in an embrace?! Grin Sorry, shouldn't laugh because she's probably a nightmare but that tickled me

He is 4 months old!
Honestly it’s normal at this age. I have a strong memory of looking at my firstborn daughter and think how incredibly lucky I was to have the most beautiful, talented and intelligent ( I could tell by the way she waved her arms). baby in the whole ward
The fierce love you feel now will always be there to surface when needed but it will modify as he gets older and less vulnerable.

This was a nice read. Thank you, and Grin at discovering talents in your daughter by the way she waved her arms).

This post is freaky but heart warming. I hope I feel like this to some extent when my baby is born. After reading all the "parenting is so so so so shit help me what have I done" threads I was dreading his birth but this thread makes it seem like there are nice parts

I could've written this 4 months ago. I was dreading DS's birth because of all the negative stories and people telling me how hard it will be. It's been absolutely fine and he's the most wonderful thing to ever enter my life. You'll be fine Thanks

OP posts:
Sarahh2014 · 23/02/2018 08:00

My ds is 4 and I'm convinced I'm going to be an overbearing MIL who thinks noone in good enough for him! I'm sure it's just because he's so small i hope I change as he approaches adulthood🙄

fleshmarketclose · 23/02/2018 08:01

That's why they grow up and become teens, it becomes so much easier to think of another woman being number one in their life when they are bigger than you, monosyllabic with smelly feet and disgusting habits Wink
OP you will be fine you are in the first flush of love seventeen years from now you will be in a much different place and will probably have his siblings to distract you.

Bluedoglead · 23/02/2018 08:02

Malificenf that’s my point. I was asking if there was pressure on the op that there didn’t need to be. Perhaps you’ve misunderstood what I meant.

Funnysheep · 23/02/2018 08:06

I get that this is lighthearted op. Think about it another way.

You love him so much and want him to be happy right? Right now he's happy being with you and wearing vests, but as he gets older he'll want to explore the world. He'll probably find happiness in a relationship with a woman, or maybe a man, have his own children.

Thisseatistaken · 23/02/2018 08:06

My babies were lovely too, lovely as toddlers, lovely as young children. Then they became teenagers.
Oh boy, it changes!

Gowgirl · 23/02/2018 08:07

You need to get out more op, at 4 mo he is portable, hit the local toddler groups, go to the park and feed the ducks, meet other parents.
You are young so maybe try mush or other aps to meet parents around your own age.
You say you are well rested and have time to iron so are probally ready to build yourself a social network, if you plan to stay home with your little cherub for any legnth of time you are going to need one!
Nothing is as grim as a damp park at 10am on a november morning on your own.

fleshmarketclose · 23/02/2018 08:07

Should add OP my son is 29 and I still think he's pretty wonderful regardless and am amazed that I did my bit in raising a good man I can be proud of. But I love to see him with others in his life who make him happy and so embrace them too.

claraschu · 23/02/2018 08:08

Anybody want another sappy baby-growing-up YouTube video? I love this one Blush:

SersioulycanitgetWORSE · 23/02/2018 08:10

I must admit I founded the iron too with my first baby I ironed her Muslim's they are very very satisfying to iron.

Op isn't it the picture of your baby with the hair tourniquet...if so he really is a beauty, I even showed dh because our dd had one too and its such a cute picture.

Sparklingbrook · 23/02/2018 08:12

I agree with Gowgirl. Put the ironing board away and get out there. That PFB is going to want some friends sooner or later, and new Mums can start to feel very isolated.
Are you on maternity leave?

Original poster
Tootsings · 23/02/2018 08:17

You need to get out more op, at 4 mo he is portable, hit the local toddler groups, go to the park and feed the ducks, meet other parents.
You are young so maybe try mush or other aps to meet parents around your own age.
You say you are well rested and have time to iron so are probally ready to build yourself a social network, if you plan to stay home with your little cherub for any legnth of time you are going to need one!
Nothing is as grim as a damp park at 10am on a november morning on your own

I have tried parenting groups but didn't much like them, they seemed quite depressing. Just people talking about how hard and relentless their babies are Sad obviously these people may have real struggles behind that, be PND or whatever else, and it's hard to just tone down the flourish of positivity when I don't feel negative... I know I would feel stabby if someone did that to me and I wasn't feeling all the 'cheery'

Most of my friends have older, 5+ children now but that's okay because I'm happy to talk about other things than babies

OP posts:
Bluedoglead · 23/02/2018 08:18

How can you have friends that all have 5+ kids when you’re only 20?

Original poster
Tootsings · 23/02/2018 08:19

Seriously yes that's him Smile thank you

I am on ML yes Spark. Love it and dread going back, trying to cut my hours down I think is my best bet

OP posts:
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