So, I'm one of 'those' mums...

[Tootsings]

I worship the ground my DS walks on and I don't know how to stop myself

I watched a video titled "To the love of my son's life" in Facebook - basically an emotional video with emotion prodding music, telling the mysterious girl or boy that I'm doing my best to make him into a lovely young man. One day he will want to spend his days off work with you, will want to spend time with you blah blah, but right now he needs and wants me".

Goes on to say how proud I will be on the wedding day and how I promise to love you too, for you are the person he's chosen, etc etc

I watched the video crying and then felt a sudden rage that one day someone would be stealing my DS from me!

One day I won't be the only woman in his life! (Providing he's straight)

Another woman will fill his heart with love

Is this how those MIL threads come about, from horrendous mums like me?

I think I'm a bit obsessed. I iron his vests and feel slight guilt if he's forced to wear one I haven't ironed. Even if you can't see it under his immaculately ironed things.

How do I get a grip?

I tell DH I can't have any more children, in terrible fear they won't live up to my magical DS and his amazing charms and looks.

I realise I must be quite unhinged but at least I have the good grace to admit it... I think

Good post Knit! I agree completely. If not wanting my DS to love another woman means that I have failed him in some way, I would rather that than he never love another woman more than me!

This post is freaky but heart warming. I hope I feel like this to some extent when my baby is born. After reading all the "parenting is so so so so shit help me what have I done" threads I was dreading his birth but this thread makes it seem like there are nice parts.

Have you ever thought the mother of your spouse might feel the same way?

This post is freaky but heart warming.

I find it more spine chilling than heart warming to be honest. I feel sorry for the woman that marries OP's son.

We all feel like that when they are tiny, adorable and only want us.

Then they grow older and you soon get over it.

Get yourself onto the "Teensplaining" thread. Hard to believe but all of us on there once felt like you do!

spine chilling 😂😂😂 Good grief, get a grip choli.

All normal feelings after having a baby. They will gradually lessen as dc grows.

I feel like that about my son too.

He’s 12

OP. This is why teenagers are such arseholes. To make it easier for us to let go of our precious babies sons so they can make their own way in the world annoy someone else.

My MIL is like KC's.

She once caught me off-guard in the kitchen (I know, the kitchen...) and said, 'YOU'RE VERY LUCKY YOU KNOW'. Fucking batshit.

Her 'home' picture on her phone is an album-cover-style photo of her and (my) DH who is forty fucking five in an embrace. She says, 'he's still my boy'. She's not that interested in either of my boys her only grandchildren

DO NOT BE LIKE HER!

@knit my son is 7 weeks old and I have to admit, not had anything approaching a desire to iron vests :)

He did make a (very sleep deprived) mum I met tearfully broody recently. He is pretty cute. He’s also really sicky. We go through a lot of vests and vavygfod

PS stop ironing, waste of life

I must echo the post on the first page - thank fuck he's 4 months not 24 years!

I must have 1000 pictures of my firstborn when he was a baby, I thought he was wonderful (although not quiet as extreme as you).

TBH, that wore off a bit by the time he was 1, and posting jigsaw pieces under the bathroom door because I'd been in there at least a minute and that was long enough.

Or now he's 7, and does not stop talking - even when alone

I think that yes, probably at least one more child is a good idea for you, to dilute it all.. my second is also fantastic, and so totally different from his brother that there's no competition because there's no overlap to compete in.

I do think having another child gives you a bit of perspective and a lot less time to embrace the crazy. He's only 4 months, your love will grow and change

I used to iron vests and muslins. I'm not even sorry.

Have more dc so you become less intense!
Realise that even by about 15 months he will be driving you mad with his refusal to do anything you want him to do!

Na, you‘re not unhinged.
It‘s all hormones so that our children survive babyhood 😃 (I‘m not a baby person and hated the first year)

I wouldn‘t worry. I felt the same with my 3 children, one is at uni and I do miss her, my 16yo son has his first girlfriend and I‘m happy for him and the little one is still squishy.
There is enough love for each of them, as a pp said, there is no finite amount of love in you, it multiplies.

The obsessiveness will fade when they grow and start making their own decisions and what remains is that you want them to have happy, healthy lives.

Do you still have other intellectual interests or is there no time? I ask as I’m expecting as well. It sounds too intense.

You are actually scaring me. This post makes me so so uneasy.

At 4months he’s no more amazing and charming than any other Baby.

And how do you worship the ground he walks on when he doesn’t walk yet ?

I do know this is a pfb post but the level of obsession is a bit much. Even for a pfb. You might want to watch out for PND.

blue I think it's within the normal range of obsessive love for newborn! I was a bit like this with pfb...

My darling boy is 15 next week, all hairy and hormonal and bloody gorgeous.

My dp tells me I have Mollycoddled him.

He has AS and I've always been a little bit over protective of him, he's such a mummy's boy.

However, we were having a conversation not long ago as my dgm has dementia and has moved into a retirement village sign on site carers.

I asked ds what he would do if that happened to me, would he look after me? Etc etc.

His reply- "I won't be wiping your bum or anything like that so I just think I will put you in a home and visit you every few weeks"

Charming

I also thought you were talking about a much older ds op.
4 months they are cute. At 14 they are like scavengers, eat you out of house and home and think the money tree in the gardens is in full bloom.

Enjoy your baby ds, I also thought that when I was pg with number 2, dd who is now 7, that I couldn't possibly love another child as much. How untrue. They are both adored. This train of thought is very common .

It’s common, but not to this extent, surely? Or am I just an uncaring hard bitch?

I have 4. Two have different SN. I can’t really do fluffy wonderful it doesn’t put food on the table or prepare me for a battle over whatever funding is needed.

I still don’t get how you can say you worship the ground your Ds Walks on when he isn’t bloody walking.

Don’t worry, OP, it’s just hormones. They will wear off soon enough and then you’ll think, “arghhhhhh, what have I done! Why won’t he sleeeeeeeeeep!”.

I have the opposite problem. My DS was a nightmare as a baby, a nightmare as a toddler, a nightmare as a young child but has turned into the most fantastic, easy going, funny teenager imaginable. I can’t believe I only have another two years with him at home!

You’re in your late teens. You’re married. With a baby.

That’s unusual these days. Was there familial pressure on you to conform to an expected role?

I kind of feel a bit like this about my 9 year old daughter. Obviously you are exaggerating to be funny but I do centre my life around her and can't imagine how hard it will be when she wants to leave home one day. I also think she is more beautiful and special than any other child (but don't ever say that to anyone accept maybe her Dad who thinks the same). She is a friend to me as well as my child and I worry a bit we are too close in some ways as she is still quite babyish and not very independent. I will not be jealous of a relationship but feel like it would leave a massive hole in my life that would need to be filled. Am assuming these feelings are mostly normal though!

AWWWWWWW I used to feel this way when my first born DS was that age. And 1, and 2.

He was the BEST child in the world, the most beautiful and I was set to be ‘one of those’ MIL’s for sure as no one would be good enough for him.

It’s actually a very lovely feeling, all that love.
The love type changes, their needs change, life changes and other babies come along. My PFB is now 11 and my love for him is totally different (although just as much!) but I remember those first days, my heart used to burst daily.