I’m a trans woman.
I suspect, based on the rest of this thread that will get me some contemptuous responses.
One of the big problems we have here is that there are two sides who are shouting and not listening. Both slides have names for the other… “trans identifying men”, “tranny”, “TERF”, “Biggot”. Both sides are making very absolute statements: “Transwomen are men. You can't change facts” and “trans rights are NOT a debate”. The reality is this is a debate and it's not a very effective one right now. We need to debate this like calm, kind and rational people, because this isn’t going away and we all need to live with each other.
I’m going to make a few observations in response to some of what I perceive to be misconceptions above. All of the following is the perspective of a medically & socially transitioned, binary trans woman. I have not factored the opinions of non-binary people or any other section of the trans community as it’s simply not within my experience or expertise to offer an opinion.
1. I believe that despite the visceral barrage of anti trans comments on this thread, this is a minority view point and that this is simply an angry echo chamber. Since transitioning, I have received acceptance, kindness and respect. Other Women have been universally welcoming. Maybe one could argue everyone is just humouring me or too polite to say the things to my face that have been said on this board... but I really don't think so. I believe that my relationships with my friends and colleagues are genuine. I may know people that secretly harbour this viewpoint, but I am convinced that is a rare exception. People are kinder than this thread suggests.
2. Many of the angry, inflammatory statements in this thread lead me to believe that the posters have not knowingly met many (or perhaps any) actual trans people. There is a difference between a drag queen or a transvestite and someone such as myself that has changed many aspects of their body, socially transitioned, changed their documents, lives and works as a woman. I do not mean that as any judgement of any other group or person, but as some on this thread have pointed out it’s not always helpful to lump everyone together. Contrary to statements above about all “Transwomen“, my life is not a performance, nor fetish for makeup and lacy underwear. I do wear makeup, but many women do. I wear underwear, but it does not excite me. I wear women's underwear because it fits my anatomy best. If I don’t wear a bra, certain activities such as going up and down stairs or running is uncomfortable. My life does not revolving around some fantasy. It revolves around my children and partner and my work and making ends meet. My life is for the most part very ordinary.
3. I have changed many aspects of my body. I have done this through hormones, surgery, diet and exercise. I have not done this out of a sexual need to have a vagina. I have done it, because I have for most of my life had the overwhelming sense that “it was not supposed to be this way”. The medical community has not found any mainstream, medically recognized method of making this urge go away. The only known way to make people that feel as I have done is to change the body to match this sense. Please note - I’m not using the phrase “women’s brain” or anything like that. But I believe that somewhere inside me there is some switch that somewhere along the way got set in the wrong position. With each change, the feeling of wrongness has lessened. If it were a fetish, usually the stimulus leads to greater need and excitement around that fetish. For the trans people that I’ve met, quite the opposite is true: It has lead to a clamer self. I know that if you haven’t experienced it, the idea of taking such drastic steps to alter your seemingly healthy body sounds unrelatable and probably crazy. All I can say is it has made a life changing degree of difference to me.
4. I didn't choose this. I don't know why it's not obvious to those that make statements about trans people to the contrary. Being gay isn't a choice. Being lesbian isn't a choice. Being bi isn't a choice. Being trans isn't a choice. I tried really hard to ignore it for such a long time, but it just made me feel sad. And... yes... therapy didn't make it go away. I don't know what made me this way. There is some research that suggests that it's caused by some hormonal imbalance during gestation or androgen insensitivity. There are many other ideas.. My strong personal sense is that there is some root physical cause that medical science will one day understand. To some extent it doesn't matter - Whether we understand it or not - this is a thing that people experience. If you think "men" just decide to do this for some thrill or rush, you're just plain wrong. Nobody goes through all of this just for kicks - it's really hard and often physically painful not to mention expensive.
5. I, like many trans people, use toilets that align with my gender. I cannot imagine using the men's loo. I do not think it would be safe. I am not a threat to other women, nor children. I walk in. Select a stall. Sit down. Wee. Leave the cubicle. Wash my hands. Maybe check my appearance and leave. I just want to pee. Trans people in public loos are far more afraid of you than you are of them. I haven't heard of a case of a trans person committing a crime against people in a restroom. If one has, I would speculate it is far below the background for the general population.
6. The Gender Recognition Act gives me legal protection and grants me a number of rights such as a female birth certificate. This is the law of the land in which we live. Let me say that more clearly: The laws of this land - that as citizens we are all required to live by recognises me as a woman.
7. If for whatever reason, I am convicted of a crime, I have reasonable confidence that because of my body and because of my legal status I would be sent to a women's prison. I do not see this as an opportunity; I don't want to go to prison.Again, like the toilet debate, I am zero threat to any other woman. If I were to find myself in that situation, my suspicion is that I would be at greater risk than the average inmate in that women's prison. If I were for whatever reason to be sent to a men's prison I am reasonably certain that my risk would increase by an order of magnitude; I would be beaten, raped or murdered. The state has a responsibility to incarcerate someone under their supervision in a way that ensures their safety.
8. Not all trans people are trans activists or “social justice warriors”. Most trans people simply want to get on with our lives.
Should I be allowed to compete in the Women’s Show Jumping championships? No. Clearly not. I can’t ride a horse. I appreciate that is glib, but my semi serious point is that it’s not an everyday problem. There has not been a trans woman taking a gold medal off Mary Keitany at the london marathon. There are so few of it’s not a problem. If it were to happen though… should it be allowed? Maybe. During the first year of HRT, I could feel my strength fading. It was remarkable. Years later I do not believe I have a significant advantage over any other woman in a sporting event. I am a member of a women’s running club and my gender history has not propelled me to the front of the leaderboards. Should a man be able to fill out a form, tick ‘woman’ and enter a women's event with all the advantages that testosterone allows? I don’t believe so. But I think there does become a point where any advantage that a trans woman may have had has long since disappeared. While this is a tiny tiny edge case, it’s not worth burning too many brain cycles on.
9. I use the women's changing room at the gym and pool. My suspicion is that most people notice nothing unusual about me - I look pretty much the same as all the other users of that facility. Like the restroom, I just want to get changed and get out. There are some comments above from hysterical women saying “where do I go if I don’t want to share a space with an XY person???”. Well firstly I’d say, you almost certainly wouldn’t notice I was there - and why would you? Surely you're not gawping at the other patrons, you're doing what the rest of us are doing... getting changed... right?
And even if you did become aware that I'm a little different... I’d like to point out there was a time that for arguments of purity white people didn't want to share facilities with black people. Society moved on and people that felt that way just had to get over themselves. The reality is I think you may be in the same boat.
However the issue is a bit more nuanced than that. For a loo, where there is privacy in the stalls, I have trouble understanding the issue. But in a communal space where people are getting changed, showering and being naked, I can understand an argument about feeling uncomfortable with someone that has not (yet) undertaken a medical transition. I think in practice though, people in that situation would be uncomfortable putting themselves in a communal situation anyway. Many early transitioners simply stop working out or doing activities that require them to use communal facilities because of the fear.
10. Regarding the self declaration of gender, which is core to this debate, I have some major worries. My first concern is one of robustness. The current system grants me the same rights of any other woman. It is illegal to discriminate against me on that basis.
My deed poll (which is a self certification name change) was not accepted by my bank. They wanted something countersigned by a lawyer. They were happy when I got a statutory declaration. As soon as you decrease the friction around a process like this, it decreases the weight of the outcome. If any process is recognised by filling out a form without scrutiny, that process does not carry the same weight that has been verified by professionals.. The same goes for the gender recognition process. If it is fill out a form and that's it, you’re a woman, the response will be “you’re not a real woman, you just filled out a form”. I want a substantial process that places a burden of proof upon me or any other person making this claim. A lot of people cite hypothetical scenarios of men abusing the system to gain access to some women's service of space. I think that if this happens it will be very rare and will most likely be someone proving a point. If we lower the friction, abuse becomes easier and that’s bad for all trans people. Contrary to being a liberation for trans people, a light weight process would erode trans rights. I certainly don’t speak for most trans people in this regard as I think most are pushing for a zero proof, zero friction system. I think we need to think very carefully about unintended consequences.
Amy