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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is unnecessarily bitchy?

521 replies

BearsandHearts · 22/02/2018 17:56

Will try to keep brief!
Last Friday I went out with some work colleagues for drinks. Whilst out my colleague/friend bumped into her husband who was with his friends. I hit it off with one of the men he was with and we've been texting with an aim to meet up soon.
My colleague knew this and seemed very keen for us to meet. However yesterday colleague told me she'd seen this man I'm due to go out with as he's a mutual friend. She said quite casually ' I told mutual friend you've got 3 kids by 3 dad's and you've had a boob job'. I told her she's being bitchy and not to put ideas in this man's head. Why would you tell someone that?

OP posts:
mehhh · 25/02/2018 20:07

She's a massive bitch!!

blackberryfairy · 25/02/2018 20:07

This reply has been deleted

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RebelRogue · 25/02/2018 20:09

@blackberryfairy why are you so interested in a stranger's reproductive and life choices? Do you seriously expect her to detail and justify her life long plan,what contraception will be used,how,when? Maybe you would like an update of every tome she DTD too so you can monitor her periods? She went on a first date ffs!

GreenSeededGrape · 25/02/2018 20:13

Of course Geneva is projecting, she said she came from a similar selfish set up.

I wouldn't care for you how many dc you had but I care for the dc I know in this situation as it has really messed with them.

But your colleague mentioning it to your date and then telling you sounds bitchy.

I silently judge the fuck out of my cousin for her many dc and just as many baby dad's but I would never say it out loud as actually it's none of my buisness.

Estellanpip · 25/02/2018 20:14

Blackberry why on earth are you asking about her childhood and relationship with her father?
Are you about to spout some pop psychology by any chance?
Back off, it's getting weird.

blackberryfairy · 25/02/2018 20:17

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Estellanpip · 25/02/2018 20:22

Maybe you should get on with your work instead of prying into someone else's life, then.
You might it vaguely interesting to you, but OP shouldn't be giving you her whole life story for your amusement while you procrastinate. How disrespectful!

Estellanpip · 25/02/2018 20:22

Find it*

SleepingStandingUp · 25/02/2018 20:23

Erm yeah OP please tell us what your favourite condom is, on what date you put out and how many cupsizes you went up. Or please don't.

WE have no idea how long op has been single, she may have worked out what has gone wrong in her past relationships, she may be looking for some casual fun whilst the kids are with the dad and there's only something wrong with that if you think there's an acceptable number of sexual partners in a given time op has transgressed

Caramelchomp · 25/02/2018 20:25

I wouldn't judge someone for having 3dc by 3 men but I would think that it would be a good idea to just focus on the dc while they are so young and not go looking for another relationship.

blackberryfairy · 25/02/2018 20:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 25/02/2018 20:26

For the record my children haven't been shifted around everywhere. I've lived in the same house for 11 years that I own. There upbringing is stable with my ex and family support. I'm not looking for a new relationship I got talking to a nice man and he asked me out. My ex and family are always on at me to go out and meet someone.

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 25/02/2018 20:27

@blackberryfairy how "interesting". Unfortunately OP is not a guinea pig or your pet project case study. It would be quite boring anyways since you so quickly jumped to daddy issues,such a cliche .

If you want to put someone under a microscope you could try @Genever since she already admitted she has issues and this thread is unsettling her.

Frequency · 25/02/2018 20:28

OP had sex? As a single woman? With consenting men?

Oh the humanity!

[clutches pearls]

YellowMakesMeSmile · 25/02/2018 20:28

Blackberry, I agree. You do have to wonder why the constant need for a man. The five men in three months was during a short split from the husband. Now, the new addition is only one and the OP is after another relationship rather than working on settling the family after yet another man has left. The eldest has already seen at least two partners come and go in their short life so will have a skewed view of relationships.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 25/02/2018 20:29

Yellow that's crap

OP posts:
Original poster
BearsandHearts · 25/02/2018 20:30

I don't have the need for a man either.

OP posts:
snabigailflagstabble · 25/02/2018 20:32

if i were friends with both of you i would probably tell pertinent info (boob job less so but 3x3 is a bit of a statement O_0) to either one of my friends. whatever it was, and whether they were a man, woman or cocker spaniel. people talk about other people. i bet you talk about other people now and again particularly when talking to someone with a stake however minor in the third party. humans gossip yep might not be v academic pastime but it's literally just life on planet earth. if you don't like it don't poop in your nest.

where she's fucked up here is telling you she told him. she's a goady fucker. and yy to PP who said he probably thinks you are a goer.

blackberryfairy · 25/02/2018 20:33

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Estellanpip · 25/02/2018 20:34

You're asking her personal questions which have nothing to do with any of it.
As I said before, having 3 children by different fathers is easily explained, and OP did elaborate on her own situation, which was gracious of her as she doesn't need to justify her children's existence.
There's nothing to feel sorry for.
Is it really beyond the realm's of so many people's understanding, that everyone is different, and everyone we meet is different and as such, some of us will be let down and life won't turn out the same for everyone? If that's the case, then I feel sorry for you that you're incapable of using your imagination and are shielded from the reality of many people's life experiences. It's just life, not some bygone circus show to be gawped at.
Also, I'm not shouting. I'll leave it at that, I don't like to keep people from their work.

Truthstar · 25/02/2018 20:36

Such judgy comments on this thread tut tut!

Hope you have a lovely time OP xx

Nitrobetty1 · 25/02/2018 20:38

Why would you bother arranging a baby sitter to go out & meet a man if you’re not looking for another relationship or sex?

blackberryfairy · 25/02/2018 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Estellanpip · 25/02/2018 20:39

How would it be the mother's fault is the father is absent??

Frequency · 25/02/2018 20:41

Why is it chaotic?

OP owns her own home, the children have lived there all their lives, the relationships were relatively long term and she's co-parenting with man no3. I'm failing to see the chaos here.

Have my reading skills let me down again? Did I miss a post or three?