To think this is unnecessarily bitchy?

[BearsandHearts]

Will try to keep brief!
Last Friday I went out with some work colleagues for drinks. Whilst out my colleague/friend bumped into her husband who was with his friends. I hit it off with one of the men he was with and we've been texting with an aim to meet up soon.
My colleague knew this and seemed very keen for us to meet. However yesterday colleague told me she'd seen this man I'm due to go out with as he's a mutual friend. She said quite casually ' I told mutual friend you've got 3 kids by 3 dad's and you've had a boob job'. I told her she's being bitchy and not to put ideas in this man's head. Why would you tell someone that?

Op please ignore all the harsh judging.

I wouldn't deter my son's from you. I unlike so many on here, would judge you on what sort of human you are not your past. If your a lovely person and treats my son with respect and makes him happy who am I to judge?

I'd rather he be with someone that's makes him happy even with 3x3 then stuck in a unhappy marriage with his bio kids.

I think the manner in which your friend told him makes it a really bitchy thing to do.

Glad your seeing each other again 😀😀

It isn't over 8 years though is it. One relationship alone lasted that, and he walked out because he changed his mind about parenthood. Should Op have not have anymore kids after that? Is the stigma if 2x2 enough to tell her she isn't allowed any more?

If not and second child is permissable, then when that relationship broke down presumably should she have stayed single or just go and get herself sterilized?? Because the irony is that the third relationship, the one that doomed her as a feckless hussy is the only one with a decent bloke, who has stood by his kids irrespective of genetics. It sounds like the two of them are doing a great job after two feckless MEN ran out on their responsibilities and OP kept her family going and together.

I'm hardly a huge tart
what about the 5 different men in 3 months?

Did I miss a post??
And also no, that still doesn't make her a tart. She can have as much sex as she wants with whoever she wants and it doesn't make her a tart, a slut, a trollop, a bad mom etc

blackberryfairy counting from when Ex1 left her in the lurch yes it is but I don't think three relationships in 8 years of being single is much. Given Ex1 left right at the start of that period, it isn't even 3 relationships. She's had 3 relationships over 16 years

I wonder if these two baby daddies even tell dates they have a child they walked out on.

I doubt it expat. They're hardly at home knitting I bet whereas my ex and I look after them all

If the last bloke is so great and has 'kept his family together', why is she out looking for another one?
So did you want them to stay in a relationship that made them both unhappy when they could parent better apart out for her to spend the rest of her life single? She's 32, is she permitted to have another relationship in 16 years when baby I'd an adult our would you prefer she wait a bit longer in case she has a menopause baby?

Well I have 5x1. The 1 I stayed with too long. Cheating, adulterer. No role model for my boys at all. It would have been better for them to be 5x2, or 5x3.
Nobody's perfect. Children are born around the world into poverty, starvation, violence and war. Are those mothers also crap? As many of them would have had access to contraception, and the situations are worse than the OP.
Many mothers of more than one father have been victims to crap men who promise the world then do one. What are we supposed to do? Wait 10 years just on the off chance that he has to prove he can stay? Women cannot predict how men will behave. Women are the ones left holding the baby.
If my sons meet a woman whose babies are fathered by different men I will care about is that she loves him and treats him well. I might tell him to be careful about contraception if he doesn't want children yet. But I would do that if she were childless also.
Some of the posters on here are vile.

OP hasn't claimed is ideal. No one is saying that a guy walking out on his wife and 4 week old baby because he changed his mind is ideal, or a Dad running off to Canada without a backwards glance ideal. But it also didn't mean she should be vilified for it when she could be an amazing mom raising wonderful, secure kids. It doesn't give permission for someone else to try and stir trouble and the way her friend told her what she'd said and the boob comments it was undeniably bitchy. It doesn't mean that OP can't date someone else or that she shouldn't be allowed to tell him herself - they hadn't even had a first date and the friend was off bitching whilst people here are trying to shame her, calling her a tart and trawling old posts for evidence

Genever the parent to blame for the kids not setting them is the Dads. The first one walked out after 8 years and presumably a planned baby. The second skipped the country. Maybe he was a bad choice, maybe that baby wasn't planned, but that doesn't make HER the bad parent in this

And yeah back to the point the friend obviously mentioned it to put him off the OP. So it was bitchy. Why the need to mention it? He isn't a poor little snowflake about to be trapped into baby no 4. He knows what a condom is. He isn't even at this stage looking long term or at kids or marriage. And many men find breast implants extremely attractive. Better than saggy post birth ones.
So there was a judgement on the friends part firstly on the number of dads and secondly on the breasts. I have friends who do drugs. I don't judge them, I don't do drugs, it has nothing to do with me. I like them, and that is none of my business. Just as the OP's breasts and former partners are no business of the 'friend'.
I'd tell her fuck all from now on.

BlackBerry I am single so it's hardly a crime is it?

@Genever you're awfully over invested. Stop projecting and trying to shame OP. Are you the friend?