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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mother is horrible for not inviting my daughter

482 replies

WomanInTheMirrorStaresAtMe · 20/02/2018 12:20

Birthday party one...
Girl next door having a birthday party, she is in the same class, year 1, as my daughter. There are 11 girls in the class.

Around Xmas the girl next door started being a bit mean to DD. It came to a head when she pushed DD over at school and she hit her head on the playground. We were called because they suspected concussion and the teacher said she had also informed girls parents. Teacher said DD did nothing wrong, didn't even retaliate and that as far as they were aware after speaking to girls and their peers it has all been one way nastiness. Girls made up, as they do, and are fine now but her mother has ignored me since, deleted me from Facebook and glares at me on school run and when we pass outside. Silly but whatever...

So back to the birthday party. Every single girl in the class is invited except DD. Invites were given out on morning school run. The girls were all together waiting to go in. Next door girl handed them to everyone but DD, telling her that she wasn't invited cos her mum says she not allowed. DD looked upset but I took her aside and said we would have a day out, she wasn't impressed... NDN mother just stared at us.

I have found out when the party is and will take DD out so she hasn't got to see all her friends arriving and hear the party, but seriously, this mum is an absolute bitch isn't she? And I have to live next door to her!!! DD seems a bit confused more than anything but is upset as thinks our neighbours must not like her.

I know moaning about kids not being invited to parties is normally seen as unreasonable but I am not in this instance am I??

OP posts:
EllieMe · 20/02/2018 14:54

I think you've had a lucky escape, OP. And your DD, I would discourage the friendship, the mother is obviously barking mad.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 20/02/2018 14:58

This reminds me of a story involving our DS. He was once the only child excluded from a yr 4 party that all the class were invited to.
The boy whose party it was also bullied our DS and turned others against him. It was a horrible time.

A few years later DS got a job in a local restaurant to support himself through college and the boy who had excluded and bullied him also joined the team. Our DS was promoted to supervisor and used the opportunity to be really nice and helpful to the boy who ended up apologising for his treatment of DS back in primary school.

Nothing to do with DS but the boy started harassing a girl who worked there and eventually got the sack - while our DS was well liked by his bosses and as a result can still get shifts there when he's home from uni on holiday. We try not to be smug and are not vengeful people - but there was a small sense of victory on behalf of our lovely DS.

You're doing the right thing by remaining detached and unconcerned -

  • the mother is spoiling for a fight. Using her child's birthday party to score points is beyond childish. You can't help wondering how much of the birthday girl's behaviour is due to the spitefulness of her mother.
GUMBYMUMBY · 20/02/2018 15:02

What a horrible woman and a bad example to her daughter.
Hopefully, one day the girl will be a nightmare teen and give her Mum hell.
Meanwhile, take your daughter somewhere nice and buy her a treat! x

Notasunnybunny · 20/02/2018 15:02

If I win the euro millions this Friday I’ll Organise an all expenses trip to Disneyland for your daughter her ‘friends’ (aka the whole class minus crazy lady’s kid ) and families.....that’d shit on her parade ....mwahahaha

billybagpuss · 20/02/2018 15:03

I'm so sorry for your NDN and DD being excluded

I am loving this thread, your DH is amazing booking Legoland Grin and I almost wish you hadn't corrected her spelling so we could mock how uneducated she is along side what a complete bitch she is. #itsnotyourpartyyousillycowitsyour5yoDD's

Have an amazing weekend and if you do decide to send a card I'd get your DD to give it to her on the Friday morning before the party in the class line.

MissEliza · 20/02/2018 15:04

Sadly there are people who like to hang around with that kind of Mum, partly because they're also bitches and partly because they love the drama these women create. We have a mum like that at our school. Fortunately her dc aren't in my children's classes. I do believe Facebook is one of her favourite weapons as well!

R2G · 20/02/2018 15:05

Yeah it's not very nice at all. YANBU

billybagpuss · 20/02/2018 15:05

sorry my uneducated grammar on first line haha should read I'm so sorry for your NDN being an arse and your DD being excluded.

SpidersWilliesOnYourFrillys · 20/02/2018 15:08

Yanbu OP, I feel so sorry for that little girl who has to look up to that woman, she is a bully in the highest order

UpSideDownBrain · 20/02/2018 15:09

This is so nasty it's actually funny!
Not inviting one kid in a class is crap, but uninviting people publicly on face book...?!
That's out and out nuts.

UpSideDownBrain · 20/02/2018 15:11

Notasunnybunny can I come to Disney too? Please? You have to invite the whole thread now. Leaving us out would be rude. GrinGrinGrin

dustarr73 · 20/02/2018 15:24

See people like that are only going to harm their own dc in the long run.She will wonder why in a few years why her dc is not invited anywhere.

kateandme · 20/02/2018 15:24

make sure you sit with your dd and try nd explan as best you can how this is nothing on her.and that some woman are nasty for no reason,but its not her being bad its the person handing out the nastiness that are wrong. because I'm sure this would cause major confusion for a young girl. poor thing.what a twat.

logicalmum · 20/02/2018 15:29

I hope that loads unfriend her on facebook after reading that. I wouldn't want my kids having anything to do with her party. She's also set herself up for a spectacular fail. Loads may not allow their kids to go because of that.

Notasunnybunny · 20/02/2018 15:40

Depending on the win I’ll Charter a plane! Are we talking Paris or the states? Personally I prefer California but I’m flexible

billybagpuss · 20/02/2018 15:43

Mumsnet lottery syndicate for tonights £141m then we can all go to California and Mirrors DD can lead the parade Smile ?

WeeM · 20/02/2018 15:44

How awful, I hate these threads as they just make me so sad. However it sounds like it’s a bit of a blessing in disguise and you’ve dodged a bullet. Wait til your dd tells everyone what a great time she had a legoland Grin

Notasunnybunny · 20/02/2018 15:45

141m? ...right I’m off to buy a ticket

Headofthehive55 · 20/02/2018 15:50

Perhaps they don't get along as well as you think or mums not encouraging the friendship. After all, it hasn't gone well so far. You aren't invited to everything. It's no biggie.

UpSideDownBrain · 20/02/2018 16:00

I'll start packing....

Wheresmyfuckingcupcake · 20/02/2018 16:03

What a sad sack this woman is. “Won’t be dictated to.” Who would bother? Who cares what you do? You’re really not that interesting...

Willswife · 20/02/2018 16:10

If my child was invited they most certainly wouldn't be going after reading that fb post.

I would actually speak to the class teacher about this one. If they do work in class about bullying and exclusion/inclusion at least the child may end up being a kinder person than her mother.

gussyfinknottle · 20/02/2018 16:25

How old is this loon? What a ridiculous fb post. How embarrassing for the child.

AppleKatie · 20/02/2018 16:30

Blimey OP you are SO better off out of it

mommybear1 · 20/02/2018 16:32

Plenty of other posters have said you have done the right thing so I won't add to that but just wanted to say what a horrid horrid person. You have held your head high and I would agree in inviting her DD to your DD's party when the time comes. What lovely parents your DD has she will love Legoland! Winefor you OP

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