To think this mother is horrible for not inviting my daughter

[WomanInTheMirrorStaresAtMe]

Birthday party one...
Girl next door having a birthday party, she is in the same class, year 1, as my daughter. There are 11 girls in the class.

Around Xmas the girl next door started being a bit mean to DD. It came to a head when she pushed DD over at school and she hit her head on the playground. We were called because they suspected concussion and the teacher said she had also informed girls parents. Teacher said DD did nothing wrong, didn't even retaliate and that as far as they were aware after speaking to girls and their peers it has all been one way nastiness. Girls made up, as they do, and are fine now but her mother has ignored me since, deleted me from Facebook and glares at me on school run and when we pass outside. Silly but whatever...

So back to the birthday party. Every single girl in the class is invited except DD. Invites were given out on morning school run. The girls were all together waiting to go in. Next door girl handed them to everyone but DD, telling her that she wasn't invited cos her mum says she not allowed. DD looked upset but I took her aside and said we would have a day out, she wasn't impressed... NDN mother just stared at us.

I have found out when the party is and will take DD out so she hasn't got to see all her friends arriving and hear the party, but seriously, this mum is an absolute bitch isn't she? And I have to live next door to her!!! DD seems a bit confused more than anything but is upset as thinks our neighbours must not like her.

I know moaning about kids not being invited to parties is normally seen as unreasonable but I am not in this instance am I??

DearMrDilkington

But the girls don't get along? So why would your dd be invited?

Read?

(And even if they didn’t get along, because they are 5/6 years old and need to be taught manners and respect and how to get along with others - something ndn should have been taught when she was young)

She's obviously hoping to pre-empt you in going to see the HT in case you get there first.

I love that you have decent mum friends who can see straight through her bullying and social exclusion ways and are backing you up.

And I also love that's its really not going her way as planned, silly nasty NDN.

NDN sounds like a right old knuckle dragger. Shame you live so close though, you don't need all this nasty blood between you.

I wouldn’t think anyone will need to tell the HT or the school anything.

They’ll all have read the thread.

I think it's actually worse to have a problem with a neighbour than a school mum.

Thistle

I also really love the “clicky villagers”
Do you think you’re the only click in the village

I hope you and your DD are all right, OP. How did it go this afternoon??

I passed her on way home and said hello and she ignored me, but our daughters held hands and skipped off ahead together, so it's not effecting them.

It's not affecting your daughters.
Therefore you should have forgotten about this by now.
Why are you still letting it affect you?

Why would it NOT affect her, having all this going on?

Melonscoffer
Really ?

OP is still affected by it presumably because the batshit school mum is her NDN and has text her to carry on the batshittery.
I thank my lucky stars my batshit school mum (BSM) left the school and moved counties.
Not before she managed to get in so many arguments that I had parents in the upper years asking me what was going in that particular year group as they'd never seen anything like it.
One spectacular fallout ended in the v experienced headteacher calling in outside mediation for BSM, her equally BS DH and the yet another set of parents they fell out with

No idea what NDN has told school, but they haven't contacted me

Presumably because it's just such a non issue and they've probably just smiled and nodded at batshit NDN and then gone away rolling their eyes!
I seriously wouldn't worry. If they did want to contact you about it they would have done by now.

Why should she have forgotten about it? She has a grade A nutter living next door to her! It's a horrible situation for the OP. And it will, eventually, affect the children even if it isn't doing so now because someone who behaves like the NDN will definitely be affecting her poor daughter's relationships with peers and that won't be nice for the child. We can only hope that the NDN gets a grip and stops behaving so weirdly! Sadly this is probably a forlorn hope.

I wouldn't say anything to the school, and if they do say anything to you about her, just tell them you don't know what the problems is as far as you can see the girls are playing nicely together and as for the other girls birthday even if your dd had been invited she wouldn't have be able to go as you are away that weekend.

And as for the other mums not wanting their children to go that has nothing to do with as they are all adults ad decide for themselves what they do as a family and you do not dictate to anyone.

I don't think the school would say anything to you anyway her behaviour is outside school so nothing to do with the school.

Although I might just have to leave home early tomorrow to beat her to the school gates just to see what the ndn does.

TRUST me they won’t be remotely interested. Schools have enough issues every second of every day without seeking out new ones.

@WomanInTheMirrorStaresAtMe anything happen at school drop offs today?

My husband did drop off this morning so I was spared the drama! Thanks for reassurances regarding the school.

Personally I’d have an event and invite her daughter. Make sure you invite in a group of invitees and catch the daughter. It’ll either build a bridge “, or leave her in the position of upsetting her own child flans cutting off her nose to spite her face

Hopefully her dd won’t turn out the same. Just keep your dd safe and let her know she can talk to you anytime about whatever is troubling her. My dd was at the receiving end of stuff similar to this in yr 1. Except the mother was a lot more subtle. It did affect dds mental health and I’ve noticed finally after 4 years, dd has completely got over the pain caused. This was dds bestie until the mother split them up and the girl didn’t talk to dd for 6 months from one day to the next. Very controlling personality.

If the woman says things to you or about you on school grounds, the school will be able to intervene. Not otherwise. At least that’s what I was advised.

Your neighbour sounds completely batshit. And everyone else sees her for who she really is now. Have a good time in Windsor!

Think she should forget and end this saga.
It is taking up far too much of her life.

Slight update for anyone who is still interested. My DD came out of school crying and her teacher asked for a word. We went inside and apparently ndn DD tripped DD up and spat on her while she was on the ground during lunch today. DD is distraught, ndn DD has been dealt with I am told by the teacher. DD has a cut knee from falling, and I am disgusted, spitting on another person is gross and I am so fuming. DD has no idea why she did it... Want to cry for DD, how could a almost 6 year old be so fucking vile and horrible!