To think this mother is horrible for not inviting my daughter

[WomanInTheMirrorStaresAtMe]

Birthday party one...
Girl next door having a birthday party, she is in the same class, year 1, as my daughter. There are 11 girls in the class.

Around Xmas the girl next door started being a bit mean to DD. It came to a head when she pushed DD over at school and she hit her head on the playground. We were called because they suspected concussion and the teacher said she had also informed girls parents. Teacher said DD did nothing wrong, didn't even retaliate and that as far as they were aware after speaking to girls and their peers it has all been one way nastiness. Girls made up, as they do, and are fine now but her mother has ignored me since, deleted me from Facebook and glares at me on school run and when we pass outside. Silly but whatever...

So back to the birthday party. Every single girl in the class is invited except DD. Invites were given out on morning school run. The girls were all together waiting to go in. Next door girl handed them to everyone but DD, telling her that she wasn't invited cos her mum says she not allowed. DD looked upset but I took her aside and said we would have a day out, she wasn't impressed... NDN mother just stared at us.

I have found out when the party is and will take DD out so she hasn't got to see all her friends arriving and hear the party, but seriously, this mum is an absolute bitch isn't she? And I have to live next door to her!!! DD seems a bit confused more than anything but is upset as thinks our neighbours must not like her.

I know moaning about kids not being invited to parties is normally seen as unreasonable but I am not in this instance am I??

Sorry for delay, busy morning!

Arrived at school this morning just as gate was opening. NDN virtually ran across the playground to the headteacher who opens the gate and took her aside to talk while pointing at me and DD. Quickly sent DD to classroom and chatted to mum friend who said her clicky villager Facebook post didn't go down well with other parents, she basically got called out by them according to friend and then NDN deleted the post.

No idea what NDN has told school, but they haven't contacted me. I have been in and out all morning and each time NDN comes to her window and glares at me. I smiled and waved as mumsnet instructed.

The drama continues... your NDN isn’t helping herself, is she.

She's just digging a deeper grave for herself. You've already sat back and done almost nothing and it's spoken volumes as the other mums can clearly see her for what she is and rallied round you. I'm sure the school can see through her idiocy too.

Arseholes will out themselves eventually, no effort required. Poetic justice really, as she needed to do was keep her mouth shut, but no, she made it worse.

Feel sorry for her DD. This why you need to step back from kids friendships.

Just feel a bit worried about what she has told the school. I don't want to go running in with my side as it looks desperate and immature.

Don't worry about it - the teacher would come to you if she had concerns. She probably realises that your NDN is a nutjob!

Try not to worry Op, you have copies of the fb posts and the text she sent, so hopefully any accusations she makes can be easily dismissed.

You don’t need to do anything OP. The school should stay out of this; they've much more important things to deal with than your NDN's shenanigans - they won’t want to be involved. You've got the high ground; hold onto it by being the better person.

I doubt the head was interested and probably already knows that she is “one of those parents.”
Moral high ground all the way....

I agree and won't say anything, it just bothers me that they might think there is a grain of truth in what she is saying. It would actually be better if they did contact me so I could show them screenshots and prove I haven't done anything.

Dignified silence is the best - believe me the school aren’t interested in the whole she said this that the other, they won’t want to get involved.

@Woman I think the teachers will have a good idea of what she is like so I wouldn't worry too much about that (easier said than done I know - I would be the same as you!)

As if the headteacher is interested. It's bad enough being responsible for 100s of small children without the parents needing supervision too.

I agree with Norfolk, the school will have her down as one of those parents.

Followed the full thread since yesterday and cannot believe this is still gong on. Do not worry about what the school is thinking. Keep your dignity. You haven't put a foot wrong. You didn't confront/ask her about the invite. You didn't ask anyone to take sides. You are not friends on Facebook, Twitter etc. You replied to her goady text in a civil manner and said you are glad the girls are friends. You have even tried to say hello several tines. Your conscience is clear.

On a separate note, I remember a nightmare mum when I my children were that age. The woman could start a fist fight in an empty room and a slanging match in a nunnery. I have never know anyone like it. We all felt sorry for a daughter. Even though the mother had issues with mostly everyone by the end of year one the little girl would be invited to all the parties. The mother turned up to my DD's party by passed me, marched up to my DH and told him ALL my faults before thrusting a gift at him. My DH extended a hand a said 'You must be xxxxxx's mum, pick up is at 6'. It really need not be more than that. She is driving this situation into the ground.

This is such an awful situation for you to be invited in, OP, I'm so sorry. Especially as you live next door to that woman. I wouldn't worry too much about what the NDN has said about you, the head won't take any notice and you have the screenshots if you do need them.

Hope the afternoon pick up goes well. Is the party this weekend?

Apparently when she wrote "#itsmyparty", she forgot to add "#andillcryifiwantto"

ThePants Naughty!

I imagine the school will see right through her crocodile tears and might even point out that excluding one child from the party in front of all the others in the playground wasn't the best way to go about things. She's brought this entirely on herself.

I woulden't worry, HT probably know she is one of those parents, and won't give it a second thought. Anyway, what has she got to complain about, her FAcebook ranting about her dd party is none of the schools business.

I would actually pop in for an informal chat with the head teacher and show her the screenshots.
Just point out the her you don't want an issue made out of it and you don't want any school in involvement. But you just wanted to make them awer if it so they could keep an extra watch when it comes to her child and yours since your child has already had a concussion once.

Ps I love when karma hits a bitch on the arse 😂
I feel for her dd though.

I would go and have a chat with the HT or class teacher. This may well cause problems at school between the girls and the NDN may have tried to claim you were getting the mum's to exclude her dd. She's clearly deluded and capable of twisting reality. Also having worked in several schools, I can tell you teachers are only human and may get the wrong end of the stick, particularly when someone gets in with their side of the story first.

I’ll tell you exactly what the school are thinking, they will be rolling their eyes that ndn has bothered them with yet more of her nonsensical drama. This will not be the first time they have dealt with her I am sure, she will be on their radar already and they will be counting the years until her dd is off their hands so they don’t have to deal with her.

No lottery win yet....I’ll keep trying.