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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this mother is horrible for not inviting my daughter

482 replies

WomanInTheMirrorStaresAtMe · 20/02/2018 12:20

Birthday party one...
Girl next door having a birthday party, she is in the same class, year 1, as my daughter. There are 11 girls in the class.

Around Xmas the girl next door started being a bit mean to DD. It came to a head when she pushed DD over at school and she hit her head on the playground. We were called because they suspected concussion and the teacher said she had also informed girls parents. Teacher said DD did nothing wrong, didn't even retaliate and that as far as they were aware after speaking to girls and their peers it has all been one way nastiness. Girls made up, as they do, and are fine now but her mother has ignored me since, deleted me from Facebook and glares at me on school run and when we pass outside. Silly but whatever...

So back to the birthday party. Every single girl in the class is invited except DD. Invites were given out on morning school run. The girls were all together waiting to go in. Next door girl handed them to everyone but DD, telling her that she wasn't invited cos her mum says she not allowed. DD looked upset but I took her aside and said we would have a day out, she wasn't impressed... NDN mother just stared at us.

I have found out when the party is and will take DD out so she hasn't got to see all her friends arriving and hear the party, but seriously, this mum is an absolute bitch isn't she? And I have to live next door to her!!! DD seems a bit confused more than anything but is upset as thinks our neighbours must not like her.

I know moaning about kids not being invited to parties is normally seen as unreasonable but I am not in this instance am I??

OP posts:

honeylulu · 20/02/2018 22:46

She "needs to move away". Result!!!

SteamyBeignets · 20/02/2018 22:46

The Mother sounds uneducated and a bitch to boot!

This. And no, dont' kill her with kindness. Stupid bitches like this will not even get it, she'll think you're begging for her attention.

snewsname · 20/02/2018 22:48

whatever you do, you won't be able to win, so respond/not respond, however you fancy.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 20/02/2018 22:54

You couldn't make that up, OP. What a twat. She sounds properly thick and unhinged. Why on earth would you post that on FB where the people she's talking about are clearly going to see it?!

This is such a shame for her DD - and yours - who are being so mature about it by putting the previous incident behind them. People just aren't going to turn up at NDN DD's birthday so she'll have a really upsetting day because of her spiteful mum. Wish she could see past her own vindictiveness and think of what she's doing to her own child.

magoria · 20/02/2018 22:58

Poor NDN DD.

Please don't treat her any different just because her mum is a cow.

DreamyMcDreamy · 20/02/2018 22:59

She said she didn't invite my DD because she cries at everything and then blames her DD?? Also apparently my 5 year old faked concussion that time just to get her daughter in trouble, kids push and pull each other and everyone overreacted. And she is fed up of ME ignoring HER! Help me reply without swearing!

I'm just reading through the thread and catching up. Sounds like she's just out for a fight. Seriously,if I got that text I would keep it for future reference, but NOT reply - ignore,ignore ignore!!
What is she expecting you to reply with? Whatever you say she'll be coming back with something!
I'd seriously be tempted to change my mobile number so she doesn't have it!

mathsquestions · 20/02/2018 23:02

Don't forget to turn the music volume to max before you leave. Or set it on a time switch to go on just when the party starts

AlpacaLypse · 20/02/2018 23:14

I've just updated from mid afternoon, before school run. Poor poor bat shit crazy NdN'S daughter.

RavenLG · 20/02/2018 23:17

Sounds batshit OP. And she loves a good hashtag doesn't see (on facebook too?! sign of a truly unhinged person!).
Just text her #sorrynotsorry

NewSingleMummy · 20/02/2018 23:24

Definitely don't reply to her text message! Leave her to stew

Cauliflowersqueeze · 20/02/2018 23:30

How delicious that it has backfired on her so spectacularly!!!

Lovely that the girls are good friends - that mother is pure poison.

When it comes to your daughter’s birthday I would definitely invite the little girl, let her mum be the bad guy by not letting her go if she wants to continue being a total bitch.

Do NOT reply to text. She’s a nut - don’t engage.

Chocolatesaveslives · 20/02/2018 23:31

She's deranged! Ignore ignore ignore.

lilabet2 · 20/02/2018 23:31

Aw your poor daughter! It sounds like you are managing this situation well though and it definitely sounds like a good idea to take your DD out for a special day trip whilst her friends are at the NDN house.

Maybe when it's your DD's birthday party she should just invite the NDN anyway so that the mother can see that she's being pathetic!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 20/02/2018 23:54

Fuck, she doesnt know when to stop digging does she? That hole in the ground just keeps getting bigger.

BlueMirror · 21/02/2018 00:13

It's likely the other mum has a very different take on the friendship. I do know of kids who are very over sensitive and are happy to play rough but then complain when others play the same way and they get hurt (one of my dc also used to be very oversensitive to the extent it put children off playing with them) BUT you don't invite 10 out of 11 girls from the class whatever the reason. If she didn't want your dd there she should have had a small party with just a few friends.

Littlemissdaredevil · 21/02/2018 06:29

Can’t wait for the school run update in the morning. It makes me sad for the girl involved as her bat shit mum is the one who is isolating her

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 21/02/2018 07:25

I wish parents would be more careful about living their dramas in front of their children. That little girl will have nasty hate coming from her mother all day every day. It’s very damaging. Instead of being happy about her party I imagine she’s having to engage with a mother who is constantly dragging her into things like she’s a friend.

Rinoachicken · 21/02/2018 08:20

The poor NDN DD is probably having to listen to her mother telling her ‘no one is coming to your party because X’s mummy has told them not to come’

Differentcorner · 21/02/2018 08:24

Little girl is Year 1, her mother should be showing her how to behave and yes I believe that means inviting your daughter, whatever has happened. How immature of the mum

SandAndSea · 21/02/2018 11:35

She sounds awful. Well done, OP. It's good to read a thread in which the nicer person is coming out on top.

billybagpuss · 21/02/2018 11:41

Hi OP just hoping all is ok today.

As much as the way this has evolved is perfect karma for NDN she will be blaming you and certainly won't believe that you have said nothing despite how many people tell her that.

Her DD will have had to listen to all of the backlash and I hope she doesn't subsequently take it out on your DD. I'm not sure whether there is any solution or if one is necessary but it might be worth sending DD in with a card with maybe a Freddo in it the day before the party. And I'll second pp suggestion of quietly letting the school know.

Such a horrid situation hope everyone is ok.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 21/02/2018 12:13

It might be worth letting the school know that that there has been this blow up. Not because the school needs to do anything about parental behaviour outside of school. I just think there is a risk this might get dragged into the classroom if there is tension over a birthday party. The NDN DD might be angry or isolated because of her (D)M stupidity.

1ndig0 · 21/02/2018 12:31

Well you can't engage with this. I wouldn't even try.

Love the phrase, "clicky villagers".

milliemolliemou · 21/02/2018 12:35

OP I agree with speaking to the school and asking them to keep a watch out for your DD and NDN's DD just in case something happens in the classroom. I would consider replying just the once making it clear you've spoken to no one about the party. If you are still thinking of your DD giving a small present to the girl, get her to do it at school where the mum can't rip up card and present and encourage non-goers to do the same.

LexieLulu · 21/02/2018 12:54

I wouldn't bother texting, I'd knock next door and ask what the eff she's on about!

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