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AIBU?

DH Smells

132 replies

islarose1110 · 19/02/2018 21:13

This is very personal and I've NC because I'm so embarrassed. As the title says, my DH smells. He will only shower every 2-3 weeks sometimes longer. I've tried everything, tried to be kind when I speak to him, buying him nice smellies, being blunt ... but he never seems to catch on. So tonight, he's gone off in a huff because I told him he smelt and needed a shower. I absolutely hate hurting his feelings but don't know what else I could have done. I can only assume that his colleagues must notice and I hate to think what they must think. I cannot understand why he's happy to let himself get like this. I do love him but hate this. AIBU to think this is a problem?

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Mamadothehump · 19/02/2018 22:08

Whaaaat?? 2-3 weeks!!! Surely not!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/02/2018 22:09

Agreed. Skin irritation through contact with, followed by the removal of, excess moisture does not equal "allergic to water".

londonrach · 19/02/2018 22:13

Im sorry but there are people who dont shower ever day who arent old and not able to get into the shower. Op how on earth did you get pregnant he have got no one near me. Seriously 18 months. People smell after one day. Shudder. You learn something ever day. Op yanbu and give you permission to get a hose to your dh. Tell him he needs to shower ever other day at the least! You a brave woman op. X

steff13 · 19/02/2018 22:15

Aquagenic Urticaria causes hives when the skin comes in contact with water. Perhaps it's not an "official" allergy, but if you get hives from touching something, for all intents and purposes it's an allergy.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking · 19/02/2018 22:19

Why on earth do you have to tiptoe around the fact that your husband stinks because he hasn't washed himself in weeks?!

If my OH hadn't showered in a couple of days and was starting to get a bit whiffy I'd be telling him to sort himself out right away in no uncertain terms. Two weeks or more is completely grim and I would consider it a deal-breaker.

fantasmasgoria1 · 19/02/2018 22:21

Nope he never had a daily bath! Yes he smelled but not as much as you might think! I to my shame shared the bed but I changed the bedding very regularly and kept to my side we never cuddled up! Even his mum was disgusted! My fiancé however showers daily and is both clean and fragrant!

Soutty · 19/02/2018 22:22

Omg, how are you putting up with this? I couldn't sit in the same room as him never mind share a bed. As well as being repulsive it's really unhygenic. Why are you worried about hurting his feelings. What about your feelings? It must make you feel sick to be around him. LTDDB!

BarbarianMum · 19/02/2018 22:24

I come out on hives on my back and torso every time I shower too. Annoyingly itchy but what can you do? Hint: not stop washing.

Qvar · 19/02/2018 22:26

It's fine to only bathe every 3 weeks.

Just buy him one of those big dog beds and make him sleep on the kitchen floor, like other mammals that only bathe every few weeks.

Seriously it really doesn't matter that you've upset him. He's ALREADY upsetting you by being physically disgusting by choice.

I'd upset him daily and not let him come near me unless he showered

My ex had a strop because I wouldn't let him touch the baby until he showered, he was a disgusting bastard too.

Queenofthestress · 19/02/2018 22:26

Right, can I just say I'm one of those people who are allergic to water. Well, it's something the water is treated with, but the official thing on my medical file is that I'm allergic to excess amounts of h2O and a severe allergy to chlorine.
Usually it is an allergy to what the water is treated with but you do get the rare rare occasions where it is an allergy to pure h2O (e.g welts appear when it rains, you cry, etc)
Personally for me after 5 minutes in water I go red and itchy, after 10 minutes I get hives, any longer than that and I have to apply a treatment unless I want to blister which co-coincidently is how they were able to diagnose me at the grand age of 18 months old. I can't go swimming in either a pool or the sea, stay in the rain for long, have a bath or drink excessive amounts of water. What I drink is monitored carefully otherwise I present with the symptoms of food poisoning. E.g. vomiting, fevers, migraines.

expatinscotland · 19/02/2018 22:26

'There is no way that is true, for a start there would be no way anybody would be in a relationship with someone for that long if they hadnt showered at all.'

Unless she's that chick from Outlander and has like, gone back and time and married a Saxon or Viking or whatever the fuck.

JustVent · 19/02/2018 22:26

It is possible to be allergic to anything.

I’m just saying it was a shit suggestion.

thenettyprofessor · 19/02/2018 22:27

I knew a "Tim" who stank, he and his girlfriend split because she was fed up of making him wash! ewww

JustVent · 19/02/2018 22:28

Are we seriously suggesting that the OP’s husband is allergic to water?!

Give me a break!

It is possible to be allergic to anything, including water (or whatever water contains, either/or) but in this instance? It’s not a water allergy.

JustVent · 19/02/2018 22:30

“My husband only brushes his teeth once a week.”
MN - maybe he has a tooth paste allergy?

“My husband NEVER washes up.”
MN- maybe he has a bubbles allergy

“My husband is crap in bed.”
MN - Maybe he’s allergic to you?

Cloudylemons · 19/02/2018 22:30

expatinscotland I think we have to excuse her! I’d love to be able to jump through those stones!

Queenofthestress · 19/02/2018 22:30

Nah, there's no way it's a water allergy, generally you have treatments and things to use after you shower or before, she'd know if it was an allergy, my dp has to put my cream on my back because no matter how hard I try my shoulders just don't bend that way lol

MayFayner · 19/02/2018 22:31

I think she would know if he was allergic to water.

steff13 · 19/02/2018 22:33

To be clear, I don't think the OP's husband has an allergy to water. People were just implying that am allergy to water doesn't exist, when in fact it does.

gillybeanz · 19/02/2018 22:34

make him sleep somewhere else unless he showers everyday, what a disgusting minger.
How can you live with a man like this, tell him to clean up or ship out.

ohglenbogle · 19/02/2018 22:36

Unless she's that chick from Outlander and has like, gone back and time and married a Saxon or Viking or whatever the fuck

I actually did wonder if Jamie smelled bad to Claire when watching Outlander due to the differences in personal hygiene standards across those 200 years.

to be honest I wouldn't care if he smelled bad

Orlandsundry · 19/02/2018 22:36

What would really get me, would be the lack of consideration for everyone around him. It's really selfish and disrespectful to people you live with not to not keep yourself clean ffs.
How often does he wash his clothes?
What's the rest of your relationship like? Do you have DC's? Have they mentioned it?

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expatinscotland · 19/02/2018 22:38

'There is no way that is true, for a start there would be no way anybody would be in a relationship with someone for that long if they hadnt showered at all.'

Yeah, doubt she was hitting the showers daily, either. The other thing is that a lot of bad smells were covered up by the scent of wood smoke and yes, even in the late 1700s, it was common for many men of means to use tobacco.

welshmist · 19/02/2018 22:38

A friends husband has a bath once a week on a Friday after work then goes down to his club, there is still a strong whiff of BO. I wish men shaved their pits sometimes.

Knittedfairies · 19/02/2018 22:39

I don't think OP's husband is allergic to water either; just covering all bases.

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