DH Smells

[islarose1110]

This is very personal and I've NC because I'm so embarrassed. As the title says, my DH smells. He will only shower every 2-3 weeks sometimes longer. I've tried everything, tried to be kind when I speak to him, buying him nice smellies, being blunt ... but he never seems to catch on. So tonight, he's gone off in a huff because I told him he smelt and needed a shower. I absolutely hate hurting his feelings but don't know what else I could have done. I can only assume that his colleagues must notice and I hate to think what they must think. I cannot understand why he's happy to let himself get like this. I do love him but hate this. AIBU to think this is a problem?

[jellycat1]

This thread also smells....of bs!

[MammaAgata]

No. My theory is she passed out due to the smell...

[Thisusernamethingistricky]

Did the OP ever cone back?

[steppemum]

and Oh yes

1. Why doesn't she leave him? Why is she still there?

[steppemum]

His girlfriend confided that his knob had gone mouldy.

This is possibly one of the most astonishing thing I have ever read. More so as I think about it.

1. He has a girlfriend?
   
2. She has got close enought o inspect said body part
   
3. if the has seen it, does that mean they have had sex (well you would assume so, seeing as how she is the girlfriend) but HOW?? HOW??? WHY??? I am no clean freak, but the idea of having intimacy with that
   
4. What is going through his head?? Really just what??

[Alloftheboys]

Anyone remember a programme Kim and Aggie did called "Too posh to wash"?
They went round the country forcing filthy sods to wash. I think they've retired now but you could try calling them.

[juneau]

His girlfriend confided that his knob had gone mouldy.

He had a girlfriend????

[StrangeLookingParasite]

We need a vomiting smiley for this.

Yes. Yes we do.

Oh god, bleaaaaagh.

[StrangeLookingParasite]

I think lots of people can have skin irritation from hard water.

It's the reason I don't shower every day. The water here is as hard as a rock - if I shower every day my skin flakes off.

[HazelBite]

The Op hasn't returned she is probably feeling embarassed, at her lack of assertiveness with her partner, and how her partner feels this is normal, and how up to now she has put up with it.
I know (from the area I used to work in) that lack of personal hygeine has been cited as reasonable grounds for divorce.
His behaviour is disrepectful to his partner.

[AngryAttackKittens]

I once knew of someone who never washed. (once a year apparently). His girlfriend confided that his knob had gone mouldy. Yes, actual green mould. I'd forgotten about him until reading this.

We need a vomiting smiley for this.

[BakedBeans47]

But he insists on daily showers and sometimes twice a day.

Lucky you we have to force ours

[SirVixofVixHall]

I once knew of someone who never washed. (once a year apparently). His girlfriend confided that his knob had gone mouldy. Yes, actual green mould. I'd forgotten about him until reading this.
Anyway, if DH was horribly grimy and stinky I would tell him bluntly that he needed a bath. If he stayed stinky I would refuse to let him in the bed. It is really anti-social to be filthy and smell terrible. Going a day or two without bathing sometimes is understandable, but WEEKS? I would see this as a selfish lack of consideration for others tbh, (unless there was a very good reason, such as severe depression, illness or grief).

[AngryAttackKittens]

18 months? Was he lost in the wilderness and unable to find a handy stream?

Back to the OP - that's completely unacceptable and I wouldn't be sharing a house with him, never mind a bed. Too bad if telling him he stinks hurts his feelings, better than him hurting everyone else's noses!

[expatinscotland]

'My son is 11 and smells if he doesn’t shower frequently, i can’t imagine how much worse an adult would niff.'

My son is 9 and tall for his age and also bongs if he gets very sweaty. But he insists on daily showers and sometimes twice a day.

[crunchymint]

If someone is so depressed they are not washing, yes they need wider help. But they still need to be told to wash.

[BakedBeans47]

2 - 3 weeks?! How the fuck have you been putting up with it for this long? My son is 11 and smells if he doesn’t shower frequently, i can’t imagine how much worse an adult would niff.

Even if he’s depressed he needs to fucking clean himself! I have been depressed and had no interest in myself but I’ve always managed to wash myself.

Surely other people must have said something to him eg people at work?

Tough shit if he takes the hump OP it’s not acceptable for him to be like this. He can’t possibly think it is?

[Perfectnight]

Some people just don’t care if they smell. No shame at all.

[sanityisamyth]

My ExH stank most of the time (didn't wash or wear deodorant) and then wondered why I didn't want to be near him. He also didn't brush his teeth and wondered why I didn't want to kiss him.

One hot, summers day he was helping us to move from one flat to another nearby (carrying stuff downstairs then upstairs). He stank so much my sister and I were retching every time we were near him and he still couldn't understand why we told him to have a wash.

Was disgusting. He's an ExH for a reason.

[Sweetpea55]

Imagine having sex with an unwashed knob....

[nNina22]

The thought of having sex with someone who hasn't washed his meat and two veg for days or weeks makes me want to throw up

[crunchymint]

The thing is when people really stink, their nose stops smelling it. So he won't smell that he smells bad.

Agree with another posted that my underarm hair means I smell less than when it is shaved.

[crunchymint]

You have tried everything else. I think you need to just start being blunt. Nothing else is working.

[ReanimatedSGB]

Sometimes poor hygiene is a symptom of depression, but sometimes it's just selfish laziness. What's the rest of his behaviour like, OP?

(I don't have a bath every day but I do have a sink wash every morning and night.)