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AIBU?

DH Smells

132 replies

islarose1110 · 19/02/2018 21:13

This is very personal and I've NC because I'm so embarrassed. As the title says, my DH smells. He will only shower every 2-3 weeks sometimes longer. I've tried everything, tried to be kind when I speak to him, buying him nice smellies, being blunt ... but he never seems to catch on. So tonight, he's gone off in a huff because I told him he smelt and needed a shower. I absolutely hate hurting his feelings but don't know what else I could have done. I can only assume that his colleagues must notice and I hate to think what they must think. I cannot understand why he's happy to let himself get like this. I do love him but hate this. AIBU to think this is a problem?

OP posts:

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ohglenbogle · 19/02/2018 21:52

YANBU
Does he have a reason why?
My Ex only used to shower once a week "as he didn't sweat"

Knittedfairies · 19/02/2018 21:52

Queen I know someone allergic to water who manages to shower too; just asking the question.
Google it JustVent, it is a real allergy.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/02/2018 21:54

How can you be allergic to water you're made of it. How would you drink anything?

It must be some of the chemicals in the water that makes you itch.

BadlyParkedRangeRover · 19/02/2018 21:55

That's rank OP!
If you were actually allergic to water you'd be dead.

fantasmasgoria1 · 19/02/2018 21:55

He was and As far as I know an alcoholic. He never showered or cleaned his teeth. He showered when detoxing in hospital but that was it. He was abusive and awful. No sex for last four years of marriage thank goodness! He was smelly and his skin looked like dirt caked upon dirt.

Eliza9917 · 19/02/2018 21:57

@fanta did you sleep with him when he was inbetween washes?

JustVent · 19/02/2018 21:57

Knittedfairies I do not need to Google allergies. I’m very well informed about allergies.

More than one reason for my response to your ridiculous suggestion.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/02/2018 21:58

Google results for water allergy show a wiki page and some tabloid newspaper articles...

MiffedMummy · 19/02/2018 21:59

No shower, no sex. You just have to amp up what a turn on smelling good is like a pp said. If that doesn't work, tread carefully but you can't avoid hurting his feelings, he has put you in that position and there's not a huge amount you can do about it.

Is he depressed by any chance?

Alwayslumpyporridge · 19/02/2018 21:59

My in laws live in “the country” on a farm, in a nice house with electricity, water, heating etc but often go a week without an obvious wash/shower:never known them to bath. My MIL clearly didn’t know how to use their last shower.

As far as I am aware/care if my DH goes more than a few days without a shower then I say something, dental hygiene is an issue too but the if he wants a bit of action he is flaming well washing and cleaning by.

Knittedfairies · 19/02/2018 22:00

I stand by the fact people can be allergic to water.

InsomniacAnonymous · 19/02/2018 22:00

fantasmasgoria1 I can only hope that he had a daily bath instead.

southboundagain · 19/02/2018 22:01

If you don't like the quality of results for water allergy, you'll get better results searching for aquagenic urticaria, e.g. here:

southboundagain · 19/02/2018 22:02

sorry, link didn't post: rarediseases.info.nih.gov/diseases/10901/aquagenic-urticaria

(it's rare, but I also do know someone who genuinely has it.)

InsomniacAnonymous · 19/02/2018 22:02

Cross-posted, sorry. How disgusting.

meandmytinfoilhat · 19/02/2018 22:04

Is he depressed op? I would keep on at him. 2-3 weeks is a long time without a shower.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/02/2018 22:05

Allergic to water...honestly that is the maddest thing I have ever heard.

Some people have sensitive skin that may flare up during contact with moisture or after moisture is removed, or when in contact with chemicals. That doesn't mean you are allergic to water you are made of and consume constantly through water vapour and in liquid form. How can you be allergic to it when you ARE it?

brownelephant · 19/02/2018 22:05

that's not an allergy.
unpleasant for sure but not an allergy.

sidesplittinglol · 19/02/2018 22:05

This sounds familiar. I'm sure there was another thread about someone's DH smelling and would not shower.

But how disgusting.

Minestheoneinthegreen · 19/02/2018 22:07

You don't have to feel bad about upsetting him. You do however have to question why you feel your best option in life is sharing a bed with a minging person.

LittleMe03 · 19/02/2018 22:07

Showering every 2-3 weeks... sometimes longer??

Haggisfish · 19/02/2018 22:07

I think lots of people can have skin irritation from hard water. 2-3 weeks-eurgh!

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Dontsweathesmallstuff · 19/02/2018 22:08

I noticed my dh was a bit whiffy once, and mentioned it too him.
His response (genuinely suprised) "What do you mean?, how do i smell?"
I told him he smelt of sweat and piss like a stinky old tramp.
Never had to tell him smelt again

20nil · 19/02/2018 22:08

This actually makes me feel sick. Poor you.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/02/2018 22:08

I Googled to so-called scientific name and still got nothing remotely reliable.

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