DH Smells

[islarose1110]

This is very personal and I've NC because I'm so embarrassed. As the title says, my DH smells. He will only shower every 2-3 weeks sometimes longer. I've tried everything, tried to be kind when I speak to him, buying him nice smellies, being blunt ... but he never seems to catch on. So tonight, he's gone off in a huff because I told him he smelt and needed a shower. I absolutely hate hurting his feelings but don't know what else I could have done. I can only assume that his colleagues must notice and I hate to think what they must think. I cannot understand why he's happy to let himself get like this. I do love him but hate this. AIBU to think this is a problem?

YANBU
Does he have a reason why?
My Ex only used to shower once a week "as he didn't sweat"

Queen I know someone allergic to water who manages to shower too; just asking the question.
Google it JustVent, it is a real allergy.

How can you be allergic to water you're made of it. How would you drink anything?

It must be some of the chemicals in the water that makes you itch.

That's rank OP!
If you were actually allergic to water you'd be dead.

He was and As far as I know an alcoholic. He never showered or cleaned his teeth. He showered when detoxing in hospital but that was it. He was abusive and awful. No sex for last four years of marriage thank goodness! He was smelly and his skin looked like dirt caked upon dirt.

@fanta did you sleep with him when he was inbetween washes?

Knittedfairies I do not need to Google allergies. I’m very well informed about allergies.

More than one reason for my response to your ridiculous suggestion.

Google results for water allergy show a wiki page and some tabloid newspaper articles...

No shower, no sex. You just have to amp up what a turn on smelling good is like a pp said. If that doesn't work, tread carefully but you can't avoid hurting his feelings, he has put you in that position and there's not a huge amount you can do about it.

Is he depressed by any chance?

My in laws live in “the country” on a farm, in a nice house with electricity, water, heating etc but often go a week without an obvious wash/shower:never known them to bath. My MIL clearly didn’t know how to use their last shower.

As far as I am aware/care if my DH goes more than a few days without a shower then I say something, dental hygiene is an issue too but the if he wants a bit of action he is flaming well washing and cleaning by.

I stand by the fact people can be allergic to water.

fantasmasgoria1 I can only hope that he had a daily bath instead.

If you don't like the quality of results for water allergy, you'll get better results searching for aquagenic urticaria, e.g. here:

sorry, link didn't post: rarediseases.info.nih.gov/diseases/10901/aquagenic-urticaria

(it's rare, but I also do know someone who genuinely has it.)

Cross-posted, sorry. How disgusting.

Is he depressed op? I would keep on at him. 2-3 weeks is a long time without a shower.

Allergic to water...honestly that is the maddest thing I have ever heard.

Some people have sensitive skin that may flare up during contact with moisture or after moisture is removed, or when in contact with chemicals. That doesn't mean you are allergic to water you are made of and consume constantly through water vapour and in liquid form. How can you be allergic to it when you ARE it?

that's not an allergy.
unpleasant for sure but not an allergy.

This sounds familiar. I'm sure there was another thread about someone's DH smelling and would not shower.

But how disgusting.

You don't have to feel bad about upsetting him. You do however have to question why you feel your best option in life is sharing a bed with a minging person.

Showering every 2-3 weeks... sometimes longer??

I think lots of people can have skin irritation from hard water. 2-3 weeks-eurgh!

I noticed my dh was a bit whiffy once, and mentioned it too him.
His response (genuinely suprised) "What do you mean?, how do i smell?"
I told him he smelt of sweat and piss like a stinky old tramp.
Never had to tell him smelt again

This actually makes me feel sick. Poor you.

I Googled to so-called scientific name and still got nothing remotely reliable.