Referring to yourself as a full-time mum

[tiredmumm]

Hi,

I'm just curious as to other people's opinions but I was watching a programme and a contestant referred to themselves as a full-time mum meaning they are a SAHM. AIBU because this really irritates me, I'm currently on Mat leave but when I return to work I will still class myself as a full-time mum as I don't suddenly not become a mum whilst working.

I've heard it so many times where FTM is referred to as though those who work are not.

Thoughts?

Bloody hell, what a ridiculous thread. Grow up and stop this idiotic nit picking.

You'd have to be pretty insecure to get wound up about this surely.

Nit that i ever call myself a full time mum...i dont think ive ever used that term

Full time mum applies whether in work or unemployed.

Most people who use it simply don't want to call themselves unemployed so use a variety of names such as this to disguise it.

That should be not obviously

Most people who use it simply don't want to call themselves unemployed so use a variety of names such as this to disguise it.

You're not "unemployed" if you're not looking for paid work.

Are pensioners unemployed? Babies? Rich people who can afford not to work?

YellowMakesMeSmile but people who use it AREN'T unemployed

YAWN!

Women don't call themselves full time mums thinking a working mother is a part time mum. They use it because they think it's the phrase to use. There's no need to get upset about it.

Giggling at the thought that my baby is unemployed

Your baby is a lazy little so and So!

Kaka I sent mine down the mines at 3 months, honestly your baby will grow up soooo entitled

kala

I agree with hot and sleeping

Shocking

Although sleeping mistype of your name kala is making me smirk

Apart from the hours you're at work and someone else is responsible for the welfare and care of your child......

With the little detail that by being at work, you are actually taking care of the welfare of your child (you know, stuff like food, clothing, education etc.) and that of the family of the childminder/creche workers too. I wonder if the SAHMs stop being full-time Mums when their children go to school. Or do you only qualify if you also do home education?

Oops Kala, soz hunni

Yes i understand that Sleeping. But i question why that same 'biological urge' doesn't equally apply to those women who choose to work. What makes them different, since they have female apparatus (including hormones) too. If it was a biological urge, rather than personal choice/ necessity or whatever, why don't all women feel it?

I'm still considering myself as a full time mum as well as a full time employee. In one way this thread has been useful as I'll probably not feel a bit miffed* next time I hear someone call themselves a full time mum as Ill say "yes me too!"

• Normally I'm very happy with my choice to go back to work but sometimes I do get a bit......can't think of the word........but a bit.....yea.....that im not a SAHM anymore. It's usually when it comes to playdates and arranging them (or not)!

As long as you're not a 'full time yummy mummy ' when you're children are all at school during the day...

But i question why that same 'biological urge' doesn't equally apply to those women who choose to work. What makes them different, since they have female apparatus (including hormones) too. If it was a biological urge, rather than personal choice/ necessity or whatever, why don't all women feel it

No-one's suggesting that working mothers don't feel it. Females having a stronger biological urge to do hands on parenting than males can manifest in many forms.

For example, mothers feeling more conflicted about being in work than men, or making more of a concerted effort to keep to contracted hours, being more likely to reduce hours/going part time, having less interest in work trips that take her away from the family, being the one taking time off if children are sick and so on and so on.

And that's not to say all mothers feel like this, or that personal circumstances/necessity doesn't in certain circumstances supercede it.

The only point I'm making (and it's taking this thread on a bit of a tangent, so I don't want to labour it much further) is that we should be considering more ingrained, biological factors in why more women end up staying at home as well as the usual societally constructed ones.

Nobody is stopping you from going on a game show and referring to yourself as a full time mum even though you work and have a job title which doesn't reference being a parent. Go ahead. Knock yourself out.

The only bit that irritates me is the fact they have to ask your occupation on these shows at all. Like what you do day to day defines you in some way?

Tbh I'm more irritated you said I'd of said SAHM - it should be "I'd have said..."

I'm a mum but also work. To me, full time Mum just means you don't do anything else. I'm not a "full time mum" I'm just "a Mum" which means alongside Mum stuff I do other things.

Don't look for offence when it's not intended.

I'm really touchy about this term purely because I feel so guilty and miserable about having to work. Id give anything to be a SAHM. I get very defensive as I am and always will be a mother whether im at home during the day or not, just like I am always a wife whether hubby is with me or not.
But I recognise that these are my own insecurities. If I didn't work I'd probably describe myself as a FTM too.

LittleLionMansMummy what Laurie said.

Dh and I both needed to work, I felt more of a pull to reduce hours. Then we had a poorly disabled baby and it was me that wanted to quit because one of us HAD to. DH is great but he doesn't feel the same need as me to be the one to do it because one of us has to.
For many people it's no choice. Money, career, affordability makes a decision one way or the other over whether both parents written, one does or one can cut hours

The only bit that irritates me is the fact they have to ask your occupation on these shows at all. Like what you do day to day defines you in some way?

^^^THIS!
And if you say retired etc its always so what DID you do. I just want someone to say "oh ive always been on the dole" just to see what they sy