It's another 'I hate my cat' one

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

For context: We rescued our cat (moggy) when he was 7 weeks old (tiny, I know) from a local woman with newborn twins who was struggling to cope. We have always taken good care of him, regular check ups, wormings, flea treatments etc. He has outside access (though he doesn't roam far) and, until recently, was an easy and gentle pet.

He's eleven now, and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and he's a completely different animal. He constantly begs for food, despite being given a very generous diet. He hounds my every footstep for hours all day and when I don't feed him he attacks my feet. He attacks me daily, unprovoked and often for no reason. The image I've posted is a scar from a deep scratch I received through my leggings, while I was just sitting watching tv one evening. He doesn't attack DH or 3yo DS, just me. He also STINKS, I have HG and just can't handle the smell of his box at all. DH cleans and sifts it regularly but his smells stick around for hours.

We've taken him to the vet, he's healthy. We've installed Feliway diffusers upstairs and downstairs. We've made sure that he has as much outside access as he wants.

But I'm living on constant tenterhooks around him and tbh I'm fucking sick of it. I guiltily fantasise about rehoming him and never having to smell him or have chunks gouged out of my ankles again. I just don't know what to do. DH is much less bothered by it all than I am, but he isn't covered in scars!

DS has ASD, yes. But he's neither rough nor rambunctious. He's a very sweet and sensitive boy with issues around social communication. And he gets very upset when he sees the cat attacking me. I try not to react or squeal too much because I don't want to upset him further, but sometimes it really effing hurts.

I think your solutions are either i) some temporary solutions until you give birth, to see if it's pregnancy-related, or ii) re-home

Did cat go doolally when you were pregnant with DS (sorry - not sure of timelines etc)

Funny how cats can't ever be expected to remain as house cats to prevents them shitting in people's gardens or predating the living shit out of native bird species......but mention the idea of 'releasing' one to find a life it prefers, and my god, the pearl clutching it crazy!

Guess they are only 'wild and free' when owners are expected to deal with their shit, but precious fur-babies when scratching, biting, and being a huge pain in the ass.

Ah op. You've had a rough time here. The cat is stressing you out and you don't know what to do anymore.
I had HG, it was fucking awful. I couldn't have coped with cat smell. You really need to move the litter tray.
It sounds like the cat has gone bonkers since your pregnancy. I would put it outside as much as possible, move its tray and not let it near me until the baby was born. Let your dh take over its care.
I hope your hg improves. Mine did around the 7 month mark. Then when I could finally eat without vomiting, I was too enormous to eat properly without feeling like I would burst. Good times.

It is because finding an alternative owner is difficult. The reality is it probably means the cat will be killed.

Put the cat out for a few hours a day. Ensure he has somewhere to shelter. Better for him and you.

When it comes to all these comments about how MN always sympathises with the animal rather than the humans, that is because most examples are humans being slightly hurt or inconvenienced, the animals risk being PTS. In most circumstances its the humans who make the decisions and the animals that have to accept those decisions.

If rehoming really is a last resort then it might be helpful if you list what you have tried to address your cats behaviour rather than just saying 'everything'. From your posts on here it seems you've tried Felliway diffusers and have had his health checked with the vet? But you have also had great advice about getting toys that your cat can entertain themselves with if you don't have the time and also deterrents you can use for the biting. If you aren't willing to try those before discarding your pet of 11yrs likely to be pts then you will rightly get little sympathy.
As I've said our cat used to be very pouncey and bitey. It is their hunting instinct and if they get a chance to pounce on toys and are deterred from doing it to people it will stop. Our cat is very laid back now and a lovely pet.

Ok BlueMirror I'll sit and compile a list, just for mumsnet.

You do know that you started the thread? We didn't all come and knock on your door and berate you for your decision to rehome your cat, you started a thread for advice (that it turns out you didn't want) and now are getting huffy when people ask, quite sensibly, what you've already tried. You replied to me upthread by saying that you're not 12, but you're doing quite a good impression of a sulky preteen!

and, until recently, was an easy and gentle pet

This is what gets me. Until recently there was nothing wrong!

You've got the litter tray in your bathroom? That would make me vom, and I don't have your current vom problem. I don't understand why you've got a litter tray at all, or why you don't indeed chuck him out sometimes. My cat is pretty violent, too, and he's not really allowed in at night, because he roams the house, attacking us.

Rehome him to someone who loves animals more than you do, yes, but I have no idea why you came on here to ask?

But hope you feel better soon, OP

Which you you think your cat would hate the least - living outside for 90% of the time with a covered litter tray, insulated place to sleep (maybe with an electric blanket), or being put in a rescue to be rehomed?

A very good point. His behaviour may well be temporary because he's reacting to your pregnancy, in which case it's heartbreaking to think that he might end up stuck in a shelter/killed. If I were you I'd probably leave him outside, but comfortable, and see if he settles down once the baby is born.

Well if you actually wanted advice with a view to being able to keep your pet then yes it would be helpful to list what has already not worked.
But clearly you aren't interested in improving the cats behaviour and just want support to get rid of it. Please don't ever get another pet op!

I'm struggling a little bit that you've had him since he was a tiny kitten, and now he's 11, and you're fairly sure the marked change in behaviour is due to the pregnancy i.e. recent.

If you don't want to retrain him to be outside more for the time being and the vet has ruled out other causes (e.g. dementia) it's best to find him a good home.

Anyway good luck with pregnancy.

You've asked for advice on what you can do to improve the situation. People have given you plenty of advice which you clearly don't want. You obviously thought everyone would tell you you're doing the right thing & that isn't how the post has turned out. @BlueMirror has asked what you've tried already so people can tailor advice & not tell you to suck eggs & try things you're already doing & you respond with a sarcastic response.

I & many others wrote long posts of things you could try & you've ignored all of it. I'm out!

They're wild animals. If you threw one out it should be able to survive alone as nature intended
Yes because there aren't a load of stray cats struggling outside are there... no...

Has it a full profile been done?

Hi OP sorry to hear you're having such a rough time with the cat. It sounds like you've put a lot of time and energy into trying to sort him out.

In terms of his smell, could you take him to a pet groomer nearby or would your DH use cat shampoo on him? Also with the litter box, maybe switch it for an enclosed one if it's open. They contain the smell better. There's a litter called Premier , they do a carbon based one that reduces the odours a lot too so it could help with your HG.

Finally with the behaviour, see if you can think of anything that you're doing that could be triggering the attacks. Is it always near a particular spot in the house? Is it when you're wearing a particular pair of shoes etc? If there's no connection between the attacks just work on stopping them for now. Watch for his signals, his pupils will probably go very wide right before he attacks you so if you spot that try to put something in between you and him that will block the path of his attack- a sweeping brush, a tennis racket, a cushion, anything! If his attacks aren't successful they should stop. If you can't stop him, punish him quickly- spray him with water or shake something loud at him like a jar of pennies. It should hopefully train him out of attacking.

If all else fails there's always the chance he'll go back to his old self after you give birth if you can put up with him that long. HTH and good luck.

I just don't understand why you won't at least try to shift him outside for a bit, at least until you have the baby. Get him a nice shelter, plenty of blankets, it's coming into Spring, he'll be fine. No litter tray to deal with, no smells, bitey cat will be out of the house keeping himself entertained and will probably be in a much better mood for it. You've had this cat for over a decade, since it was a baby. You must have some attachment to it. Surely it's worth a try before you potentially condemn it to a life in a shelter?

I think you're getting a hard time from the cat mafia - he sounds like he's really hurting you and whether it's from feline dementia or not (which I don't believe is treatable at any rate) you are still being injured.

Maybe try a couple of things first - as rehoming an older aggressive cat is not going to be easy.

Littertray issue - try one of these https://m.petplanet.co.uk/p25682/scoopfreeultraaautomaticlitterrboxsx4.aspx?ptmm_source=google&ptmmedium=shopping&ptmmcampaign=20to308926&campaign=324014531&adgroup=56687191828&keyword=&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0LSJ9MK22QIV67XtCh2oFw68EAQYASABEgIsRvDDBwE
My best friend has an indoor cat and swears by this, and she is very very sensitive to unpleasant smells.

Agression - as soon as he is fed in the morning, punt him outside. He can come back in later but if he's aggressive again, punt him outside again. He is not allowed to attack you.

I hope things get better x

Brief update: cat is coming with us to the new house. He will be put outside if he beats on me. His litter box will be phased out.

If there's no improvement to our quality of life after a month we will look at rehoming him to a cat-loving friend.

That's good, OP. Perhaps a bit of space (for the cat and for you) will do the trick.

Good luck!

Good luck op but I think you would have more success with noise or a water spray. 'Putting out' a cat in a scratchy mood is likely to abuse more injury imo.

*cause more injury

Glad he’s coming with you. A month isn’t long though to settle in. Most cats would take longer than that even those without ishooos.