It's another 'I hate my cat' one

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

For context: We rescued our cat (moggy) when he was 7 weeks old (tiny, I know) from a local woman with newborn twins who was struggling to cope. We have always taken good care of him, regular check ups, wormings, flea treatments etc. He has outside access (though he doesn't roam far) and, until recently, was an easy and gentle pet.

He's eleven now, and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and he's a completely different animal. He constantly begs for food, despite being given a very generous diet. He hounds my every footstep for hours all day and when I don't feed him he attacks my feet. He attacks me daily, unprovoked and often for no reason. The image I've posted is a scar from a deep scratch I received through my leggings, while I was just sitting watching tv one evening. He doesn't attack DH or 3yo DS, just me. He also STINKS, I have HG and just can't handle the smell of his box at all. DH cleans and sifts it regularly but his smells stick around for hours.

We've taken him to the vet, he's healthy. We've installed Feliway diffusers upstairs and downstairs. We've made sure that he has as much outside access as he wants.

But I'm living on constant tenterhooks around him and tbh I'm fucking sick of it. I guiltily fantasise about rehoming him and never having to smell him or have chunks gouged out of my ankles again. I just don't know what to do. DH is much less bothered by it all than I am, but he isn't covered in scars!

If he's that bad, consider having him PTS instead of rehoming. If he is constantly biting I don't see how that could be successful.

Hey OP. Sorry you're in this situation. Have you thought about changing his food? Ours behaved dreadfully until we changed their food. Which food is yours on?

OP - its clear that you are not going to get the support you want on this thread.
Do yourself and the cat a favour and rehome it so you can both have happier lives.
I for one think you are doing the right thing.

OP just limit your contact with the cat, if it's not raining put him out in the day and then limit your contact with him the rest of the time, eg put him in a room with his food, water and tray and some toys. People will say it's cruel but think it's crueller to rehome at 11 years old. I know people who do foster cats keep them in one room sometimes when multiple cats so can't be considered that cruel. Then at least you can see if it changes when you're not pregnant.

Assume you've already considered whether a friend can look after him during your pregnancy?

Another suggestion is trying to train him eg a quick squint with a water pistol when he scratches?

Have you tried a water spray/noise deterrent? I would be very surprised if one of those didn't work.

Judging by this thread people on mumsnet are way more forgiving of animals than people. Are you not just letting your cat dominate you? I am by far a cat expert but my cats would not do this to me as they would get put out. They will try it on with others though. I would try putting him out every time he misbehaves and see if that helps.

@StormTreader

I wonder if your pregnancy hormones have changed your smell and confused him, maybe he doesnt recognise you sometimes because of that?

This. My cats noticed something before I even knew I was pregnant, but in my case they all wanted to cuddle. All three of them. Even the one who didn't like the other two and usually kept away from them as much as possible piled in on top. It was worrying.

My friends cat on the other hand took a sudden dislike to me, even though he's always been friendly before.

I'm sorry you've got HG. It's terrible- I recently had it for 7 months of my pregnancy & had 6 months off work due to the severity so I know what it is like. I too have a cat & although she is the same age as your cat, have only had her for 2 years as she was put up for adoption from her previous owner. As far as the smell & HG goes, it's rubbish, but it's not forever.

The cat snaking around your feet for food sounds pretty typical of cats?! My cat does exactly the same thing & it's very annoying but I think it's just one of those unhelpful things cats do.

You've said you have no time to play with the cat. Could he be bored & desperately trying to get you to pay him attention by attacking your ankles? I too have a child with complex medical issues, so again, I understand how hard it can be & difficult to find time for the cat. However, I frequently sit between my cat & the baby, supervising the baby on her playmat while also pointing a laser pointer in the opposite direction for the cat to provide her with some sort of stimulation. She is entirely an indoor cat so she needs to be stimulated too.

Could you try a laser pointer for your cat to see if it helps if he's just bored and acting out? The smell/HG issue is short lived, although horrible at the time- maybe when it's over, you'd find the rest easier to manage?

Get rid of it

Why don’t you offer it to all the cat shaggers berating you on this thread?

I was in the same situation as you. Wanted to rebome him for months and months. I used to dread him screaming at me all day for food from 7 am onwards, knocking me over barging between my feet screaming at me, with children to adhere to also. I just couldn’t keep up with it. Finally rehomed him on a Pets app. He was only on there a few days and had plenty of messages people asking for him there cat had died, they were looking for a new one, etc. Now he’s gone and it’s a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I’m sure he’s happier now too he gets the attention and time he deserves. Do yourself a favour and rehome your cat if it’s what you really want. It’s not healthy for you or the cat to go on like that

If he was previously gentle, would your trainee vet friend foster him on a trial basis with a view to him either coming home in a few months or preferably her keeping him if he reverts to his gentle self? If it fails you can then consider rehousing or pts options.

To be honest, you are unlikely to have time for him after the new baby arrives so your friend really is this cat’s best option. If she knows how gentle he used to perhaps she will at least give him a chance as rehoming is unlikely and so sad for this poor boy to be pts.

Why don’t you offer it to all the cat shaggers berating you on this thread

Sorry I can't, not enough space due to re-homing other cats/dogs that other people decided to get then just give up on when they got difficult to look after.

Sorry, I forgot to say in the meantime I would leave him outdoors as much as possible. If he attacks you, then I would put him straight outside.

But for my own health and that of my unborn child I will have to rehome this cat. By the sounds of it he'll have had a lucky escape.

Nothing but sympathy from me OP - do what you have to do, you have enough on your plate with your child and HG.

I have a kid with ASD. As well as a kid with BPD. Along with two typical kids. I also have three auto immune diseases, need two new knees, am bipolar, a single parent and a full time MA student. I still make time to amuse my cat for a few minutes a day. And do the necessary requirements for my 3 dogs too.

Congratulations on your sainthood. Here's your halo

Please rehome your poor cat. It deserves a better life than it has at the moment.

I looked after someone’s cats for a few months whilst they had the builders in, ‘great’ I thought, ‘I always enjoyed my parents cats, this’ll be a lovely trial run for when I get my own’. Well, one cat was fine, but the other one was increasingly hard work. They wouldn’t go outside, wouldn’t leave me alone even after being fed, no amount of fussing or playing seemed to satisfy them. It would start banging into the lounge door to try and get upstairs at 2 am waking us up. Then they started crapping under the sofa. I was relieved when they went.
That was 4 years ago. I’ve never got a cat.
Sometimes something becomes too much, find the cat a new home before you move so it doesn’t get unsettled twice.

Can you get yourself some respite by putting him in a cattery for a week? My friends cat was always a dick until they spent a week there. Think it made them realise how good they have it.

You're making out like you're the only person ever on the planet to have HG. Guess What? You're not and not all of us got rid of our cats

Yes, please re-home and don't get a pet again. Not sure why you posted for advice, you sound like your mind is made up.

Couldn't read to the end because my sympathies are entirely with your cat. Maybe he senses your hostility? He sounds as if he just wants attention and is behaving badly to get it - as a child would. Oh and as for war wounds .... my cat is my second child and I would be devastated if anything happened to her.

I have a cat like this, albeit much younger, and he is an absolute pain in the tits. My dog is seriously low maintenance by comparison

Has he been like this since you were pregnant ? My cat went weird when I was pregnant . He uses to regardless spray on me and was completely different . Can you wait until the baby comes and see how he is then ?

It could be the pregnancy. My last cat went fucking bonkers throughout, finally settled down when dc was a few months old. She actually shat in my slipper, and pissed over my boobs when I was asleep (I was breastfeeding).

I had a cat that kept shitting in the house once i got pregnant. She very quickly became an outdoor cat. Can you just feed him outside for a while and just let him in when youre feeling up to it. Or put him out every time hes being a pain.
I think it might be a shame to rehome him permanently if hes only cross because of the pregnancy