It's another 'I hate my cat' one

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

For context: We rescued our cat (moggy) when he was 7 weeks old (tiny, I know) from a local woman with newborn twins who was struggling to cope. We have always taken good care of him, regular check ups, wormings, flea treatments etc. He has outside access (though he doesn't roam far) and, until recently, was an easy and gentle pet.

He's eleven now, and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and he's a completely different animal. He constantly begs for food, despite being given a very generous diet. He hounds my every footstep for hours all day and when I don't feed him he attacks my feet. He attacks me daily, unprovoked and often for no reason. The image I've posted is a scar from a deep scratch I received through my leggings, while I was just sitting watching tv one evening. He doesn't attack DH or 3yo DS, just me. He also STINKS, I have HG and just can't handle the smell of his box at all. DH cleans and sifts it regularly but his smells stick around for hours.

We've taken him to the vet, he's healthy. We've installed Feliway diffusers upstairs and downstairs. We've made sure that he has as much outside access as he wants.

But I'm living on constant tenterhooks around him and tbh I'm fucking sick of it. I guiltily fantasise about rehoming him and never having to smell him or have chunks gouged out of my ankles again. I just don't know what to do. DH is much less bothered by it all than I am, but he isn't covered in scars!

Is there anyone on your street who will take him in? Seems time you just want rid so why not just say that

I think people are being really hard in you op. Your situation sounds quite tough. It's no fun living with a cat that randomly attacks you.

Changing his food might help with the smelly poo. I find the cheaper wet food makes it really stink.

Could your DH play with your cat for a bit each day? If you get a long teaser, you can sit down and do it. Carrying it with you will also give you something to distract your cat with if needed.

I think you just want people to tell you he's a horrid cat and you re-home and now you're getting snappy because they're not.

I agree. And you've ignored suggestions on here that he may have dementia or another age-related condition. I know you've had him checked for his health, but I'm imagining it's hard if not impossible to diagnose these kinds of conditions in an animal.

Would it be awful to 'put him out' for a few hours sometimes? Just so I get a break?! Of course!

What if he attacks the three year old? Will a vet put an old vicious cat to sleep?

The cat is attacking you because its bored bloody silly! And you do not have time to take care of it? that is a total bullshit excuse. You get a stick teaser and when you sit on the couch for ten minutes to have a brew you jiggle the stick and the cat gets the stimulation it needs and you will reduce getting bitten. There are two adults in your house but you cant find time to amuse the cat that you chose to take in, but you found the time to post on here?

I have a kid with ASD. As well as a kid with BPD. Along with two typical kids. I also have three auto immune diseases, need two new knees, am bipolar, a single parent and a full time MA student. I still make time to amuse my cat for a few minutes a day. And do the necessary requirements for my 3 dogs too. You are not incapable, you just don't seem to want too.

Can't your partner play with the cat? Also have you had a look at the automated cat toys there is a laser one for under £20.

Can you move his litter box elsewhere whilst you are pregnant?
Sounds like a frustrating situation for you OP, as much as we all love our pets it may be kinder for them to go to a home where time can be spent on them.
Any friends/family that could temporarily look after him, you mention you are moving house are there boxes and things being packed up around him? The move could be stressing him out.

Get rid. No way would I have an animal like this around my children

I have two children with asd and we rescued our nutty boy last year.

He is quite insecure and displayed the exact behaviours you are talking about for a good six months when we first got him.

I found that these things seeemed to help him calm down:

Lots of playing (just a few short minutes a couple of times a day) with a feather on a stick etc. every day. When I’m too busy I have a cheap toy from amazon that plays with him for me.

Just stroking him a few times only on the head before stopping when I walked in a room and he ran up to me (he loves a fuss but it seems to overwhelm him if you do it for too long)

You do have time for him. Stop making excuses. I know it’s hard when you have dc with sn, but you are resenting an animal for his behaviour when you do have the ability to stop it, and you also have a responsibility to him.

One of ours is evil and vicious, and doesn't really like going outside much. But if she gets a bit crazy, attacking me/the carpet/the other cat/her own shadow I just chuck her outside, and when she comes back in half an hour later she's fine. Just needed to have a silly half hour and get it out of her system.

I'm not snappy or cross. I'm worn down by it. I've spent months trying to keep the cat happy and nothing I do helps.

Move the litter box nearer and nearer the exit and gradually wean him off it so he uses the outdoors. Cats can often up the ante for attention especially at time when you need to care for your child. I am sorry you are not getting on with this cat but I do sympathise with the cat. Are the attacks totally surprise and unprovoked, or is there a pattern that you can see that might help you avoid them. Cats can be happy with quite a small amount of human intervention, unlike a dog. I would probably encourage him to be outdoors . many cats sleep for 16 hours a day so he may not be driving you mad all the time. It would seem unkind to re home him if you can avoid it. We make lifelong commitments to animals. Interestingly , not saying it is the cause but I have noticed many friends and family going off the cat when pregnant or have a new baby, and the cat becoming somewhat demanding as a result. May be coincidence but it happens. PS you should wear gloves if you do handle any cat litter

I'm wondering thyroid as well. A vet trip would be a good first step.

I'd also look at his food, boy cats in particular do not do well on cheaper dry foods like GoCat, Whiskers and equivalent biscuits.

Covered litter tray and different litter might help with the smell.

We went to the vet last month. EVERYTHING was checked.

Get rid. No way would I have an animal like this around my children

Did you miss the bit where OP said the cat was fine with her ds?

If you have tried everything you can and you are still being attacked, YANBU to rehome the cat. You can't spend your days worrying about when the cat is going to attack you.

When the new baby arrives, stress levels will be even higher and you will have less time available for the cat.

OP this all sounds very stressful and if you really have tried everything there is no shame in rehoming. I had to have my much loved cat PTS at the weekend but for the last two years he has been ill and pooing everywhere it does grind you down and is hard to manage when you are are well let alone managing with HG.

Get rid of the cat- give it a home it clearly deserves.

My DN beautiful cat got run over and killed yesterday.

Devastated is an understatement and he wasn’t even two.

Re home the cat asap

You sound very self-pitying, OP, and before you start on about your poor bleeding leg again, your photo fails to show much of an injury, IMHO. Given your obvious hostility to your poor cat, I think it would be best to try to rehome him, or if genuinely not possible, have him put to sleep. Please, under no circumstances, rehome through Gumtree or similar sites, and take huge care in finding a genuine animal loving person to take him, rather than risk him ending up as bait for a dog fighting ring. Perhaps your vet could help, or Cats Protection/similar responsible organisation. I wish your poor little cat all the best.

That scar is three months old

get rid

You sound very mean. I sympathise with the HG and cats, as I have had the same issue, but the cat is your responsibility and you just have to suck it up, I'm afraid.

I'd put him outside if I were you. I have a grumpy middle aged lady cat who needs physically put outside for an hour or two a day, or else she gets bitey. She wouldn't go out herself, but once she's out she waddles around, has a poo, basks in the sun, looks at the birds and comes back in in a much better mood. It's like forcing yourself to go for a run, hating the idea, but feeling great afterwards.

As for a few scratches, God almighty, it's a cat not a fucking doberman.

Of course I won't try and palm my cat off to some random on Gumtree. This isn't a snap decision, it's after months of agonising. I've been to the vets with him, I had a friend who is a cat expert (she's a trainee vet and has been fostering cats for years) come round, I've taken every bit of advice so far (bought scratching posts, used Feliway, had food available on demand). Nothing has worked.

I don't enjoy being scratched and bitten every day, no. And the vomiting is definitely worse after the cat has used the litter box. I've been to hospital seven times this pregnancy for fluids, and my iron levels are very low. It's making me physically ill. That's just a fact, it's not me fishing for pity.

He's getting less attention and may be bored.
Before rehoming, try putting him out most of the day

It’s horrifying that cats and dogs aren’t allowed to have reactions to changing circumstances without the threat of being abandoned or euthanised.

OP YABU

The behaviour you describe is entirely normal ... especially since cat breeding season tends to start around now, even neutered cats will have those natural instincts and if you're pregnant and are giving off different scents and hormones then cats will react to that.

Cat shitting in the litterbox overnight is not unusual, mine seem to wait until I'm either in bed or have just gone out to use it for maximum stink levels ... it's not the cats fault you have HG and it makes you sick

Cat winding round your legs as you go downstairs ... again normal. I broke two of my fingers a month ago because one of the cats shot under my foot as i was going up a step and - in an attempt not to stand on her i oberbalanced and fell oon my hand, fracturing 3 bones. Did she give a shit? Nope, she just went to sit by her foodbowl and looked expectantly at me while i picked myself up.

Cats attacking is less normal but even the nicest of them can bite or scratch occasionally because it's their way of communicating and playing- one of my younger cats will playfight but then get over excited and bring out the claws and/or bite for real. It is not to hurt but because she is overstimulated. One of my cats will also use nips/scratches to get my attention if I haven't played with them, e.g. if I've been at work all day and then have come in, made dinner and not given them any affection then they will swipe at my ankle till I pet them and turn on their laser toy.

I suggest you get something like the Feliway plug in to help calm your cat down, find some auto toys to keep them stimulated and get your DP to deal with the litter trays while you're pregnant.