It's another 'I hate my cat' one

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

For context: We rescued our cat (moggy) when he was 7 weeks old (tiny, I know) from a local woman with newborn twins who was struggling to cope. We have always taken good care of him, regular check ups, wormings, flea treatments etc. He has outside access (though he doesn't roam far) and, until recently, was an easy and gentle pet.

He's eleven now, and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and he's a completely different animal. He constantly begs for food, despite being given a very generous diet. He hounds my every footstep for hours all day and when I don't feed him he attacks my feet. He attacks me daily, unprovoked and often for no reason. The image I've posted is a scar from a deep scratch I received through my leggings, while I was just sitting watching tv one evening. He doesn't attack DH or 3yo DS, just me. He also STINKS, I have HG and just can't handle the smell of his box at all. DH cleans and sifts it regularly but his smells stick around for hours.

We've taken him to the vet, he's healthy. We've installed Feliway diffusers upstairs and downstairs. We've made sure that he has as much outside access as he wants.

But I'm living on constant tenterhooks around him and tbh I'm fucking sick of it. I guiltily fantasise about rehoming him and never having to smell him or have chunks gouged out of my ankles again. I just don't know what to do. DH is much less bothered by it all than I am, but he isn't covered in scars!

OP, have you tried him with Royal Canin Feline Calm food? It's a dry food containing a pheromone which mother cats excrete to keep the kittens calm when she goes hunting. It was recommended by my vet when one of my cats kept attacking the other. It's expensive as hell but it works! Within a week she was a much nicer cat. Could be worth a try before you give up on the cat completely?

That was aimed at another poster, not you lookingfor. But again, people haven't reacted how you want because you didn't include any information about a) what you'd already tried and b) this being a done deal in your OP, and then got cross that anyone would feel sympathy for the cat. It turned out that you didn't want help, you wanted attention and fawning over, and that never goes down well on here, especially on AIBU!

He is on very expensive, vet-recommended Science Plan food

Why the actual fuck would I want to be 'fawned over'? Jesus. This place is a sounding board, I've posted here for yonks, I knew that was never going to happen. Also, I'm not 12.

I think your thread title might have something to do with how you’ve been viewed on here.

I admit to feeling somewhat put out that people are generally being more sympathetic toward my violent cat than my cowering, bleeding form. He's FINE. Loving life. Administering beats whenever things aren't 100% to his satisfaction.

Strangely in this site. People favour animals over people and children. I remember a thread where a 2 year old was bitten on the face by a dog and the responses were shocking. The child shouldn't have provoked, the owners shouldn't have left it alone with the child (the owners weren't the childs parents), poor dog being teased by a 2 year old.....

Id have reported it and had it pts. It bit a child on the face!

I agree OP. But then I dont get cats anyway and their scratching and stinking litter trays and cat hair everywhere. I dont see the appeal.

Mumsnet isn’t the place to ask about re-homing pets; it just descends into hysteria.

I had a cat who was always like this. Solved it by the following. He got attention when behaving well. Any attacks followed by a tap on the nose and being removed from the room and put outside. It worked in that he no longer attacked me only other people. The constant asking for food - just totally ignore. And he's not old.

Cats are different anyway.

No one has honestly experienced a cat fucking off to the neighbours and staying there: finding a better restaurant, etc.

Cats need to be fed and somewhere to sleep. They dont care who gives it. Dont get the fuss about rehoming.

. I remember a thread where a 2 year old was bitten on the face by a dog and the responses were shocking. The child shouldn't have provoked, the owners shouldn't have left it alone with the child (the owners weren't the childs parents), poor dog being teased by a 2 year old....

In all fairness, I saw dogs and cats being chased, pulled by their tails and ears, being grabbed forcefully by children. The animals were already showing signs of distress while the adults were indulgently looking at their sweet little darlings playing with the dog who just an animal anyway.
That's not an excuse and I would probably ask for the dog to be PTS too or rehomed in the mildest case scenario but I think we need to question the attitude of adults who believe that their kids can do anything they want and don't supervise their contact with animals properly. Even a cute bunny can bite properly if feeling threatened.

Cladestino that wasnt what was happening
I cant find the thread but the kid bent over to pet the dog lying on the floor and it went for her.

I got completely laid into on this board for daring to consider getting a kitten from someone locally who had an accidental litter. Its actually quite funny how hysterical people are about animals and the importance they place on domestic pets, over their actual family members in many cases. Complete anthropomophism

NewYearNiki I remember that thread - the dog was provoked and the child should not have been allowed to pester it unsupervised. If you allow an animal to be pestered and provoked where it cant get away, dont be surprised when it reacts like an animal.

MakeTodayAmazing Glad it worked! All kinds of professions that deal with really bad smells use that trick apparently, dab of vicks in a facemask is the savior of a lot of people!

OP - just rehome. We had to rehome our dog when DS was 2 as he attacked me with absolutely no provocation or warning (he had been stressed for a while as was an older and naturally nervous dog and DS had become noisy and toddlerish). Best thing we ever did. I didn't realise how much stress I was under trying to keep them apart. He lives with an older childless couple now and is very happy. As are we.

The fact that I know for a fact that ds can be too rough with pets is the whole reason I don't have any. I wouldn't subject an animal to a 4 year old with Sen who literally can not comprehend that he's too rough.

Honestly I think it's terrible you're planning to rehome him. He is your responsibility for better or worse and it sounds like you've only made very limited attempts to resolve the problem.

He'll end up in a shelter, and do you really think there will be people clamouring to rehome an older cat who is known to be a bit grumpy? You're condemning him to life in a small pen until eventually there is no hope for him and he is put to sleep.

You're miffed that people are sympathetic to your cat rather than you, but the truth is your cat is completely dependent on you and you're reneging on a commitment you made to provide for him when you took him on all those years ago. Poor puss

People are crazy on here! OP, why make your life miserable for a bloody cat! You only have one life, why live it beholden to your pet's behaviour. Imagine the cat behaving like this when you have a tiny new born to look after. Animals are nice and everything but your family comes first.

Cats dependant on humans ?

They shouldnt be and arent.

They're wild animals. If you threw one out it should be able to survive alone as nature intended.

We see this all the time at charities. This is exactly why prospective adopters are so carefully vetted to make sure they understand the commitment and consider what they would do if their situation changed, or if the cat got ill etc.

Please choose a reputable charity and specifically research their euthanasia policy as he is older and has had these recent behavioural issues. The best charities likely have a waiting list so contact a few ASAP and be prepared for it to take a few weeks. Make a donation to the charity.

Don't let him ruin your life op, have him rehomed. Youve done right by him, now he's turned violent., and don't feel guilty.

Queenof - DS has never given the cat any heed whatsoever. To him the cat is just there, like a lamp or a chair. He's never been rough with him, or even so much as prodded him.

Goodness some of the responses on here are bonkers.

You’ve had your cat for 11 years so it’s not like you’re an inexperienced owner.

Your human needs trump those of your cat. If you’re at the end of your rope then I think it’s perfectly fine to rehome him. You could get a really nasty infection from those scratches. You’ve got enough on your plate right now.

Oh and just put the cat outside. You can get little igloo type garden shelters for cats. It’ll give you a break from him. Try a water spray too if you haven’t already.

I'm enjoying the extra details being added here by people, like that my son is rough with the cat, or that I don't know how rehoming works.

DS has never given the cat any heed whatsoever. To him the cat is just there, like a lamp or a chair.

Doesn’t sound like your home is right for pets at all, what with you hating the cat and your DS being unaware of him (yes I know you said he has ASD). Rehome your cat and give him a chance to be loved and cared for by someone else.