It's another 'I hate my cat' one

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

For context: We rescued our cat (moggy) when he was 7 weeks old (tiny, I know) from a local woman with newborn twins who was struggling to cope. We have always taken good care of him, regular check ups, wormings, flea treatments etc. He has outside access (though he doesn't roam far) and, until recently, was an easy and gentle pet.

He's eleven now, and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and he's a completely different animal. He constantly begs for food, despite being given a very generous diet. He hounds my every footstep for hours all day and when I don't feed him he attacks my feet. He attacks me daily, unprovoked and often for no reason. The image I've posted is a scar from a deep scratch I received through my leggings, while I was just sitting watching tv one evening. He doesn't attack DH or 3yo DS, just me. He also STINKS, I have HG and just can't handle the smell of his box at all. DH cleans and sifts it regularly but his smells stick around for hours.

We've taken him to the vet, he's healthy. We've installed Feliway diffusers upstairs and downstairs. We've made sure that he has as much outside access as he wants.

But I'm living on constant tenterhooks around him and tbh I'm fucking sick of it. I guiltily fantasise about rehoming him and never having to smell him or have chunks gouged out of my ankles again. I just don't know what to do. DH is much less bothered by it all than I am, but he isn't covered in scars!

I'd feed him in the morning then put him out.

If I had a penny for every cat that got put up for adoption once their owner became pregnant...

My cat is an absolute dickhead. It keeps attacking us, but more importantly the kids too. It breaks their skin and they are so nervous when its anywhere near. We have taken to shutting it outside all day and only letting it in when they go to bed, then confining it to the sitting room/kitchen once its in (so it cannot go upstairs to bite them in bed)

No shelters will take it. No friends want to take in a violent cat.

Fuck knows what we can do tbh. It feels cruel to keep on as we are, and honestly, the amount of random attacks are making it hard to even let her in on a night, but I couldn't leave her outside for the entire night and I would feel awful only letting her in when we are just about to go to bed, which would mean she had no human interaction at all.

Shes always been a bit nippy, but playful biting and never to the kids. Then when we got her spayed, she turned into this monster. Like, she will be at the opposite side of the room and launch herself at you, bite (hard) then run right away, so its not even as if she is trying to play at all

Not sure why I put this on here, but I understand the bastard cat problem completely.

Also before anyone says putting her outside is cruel, that was the advice of the vet.

And we have tried so much to try and calm her.

Vet says she may have a mental illness but that theres nothing that they can do if she does Shes physically healthy. We did think that maybe there was problems with pain where the scar was after getting neutered given this behavior started right after that, but vet says no.

You're making out like you're the only person ever on the planet to have HG. Guess What? You're not and not all of us got rid of our cats hmm

Ahhh mumsnet - the online community of support and understanding. Except when it comes to animals. That's when everyone turns into vicious bitches...

@StormTreader I had very bad HG & I did the vicks trick you suggested & it did help with the cat smells actually so it's not a bad idea it obviously doesn't eliminate or solve things but when HG is concerned, every little helps!

If you're still reading op, I'd be inclined to shut it outside completely, with food.....but with the hope that it found a nice elderly neighbor to live with. It shouldn't be simply allowed to attack you.

Has his behaviour towards you changed since you got pregnant OP? or was it before that? Pregnancy changes how we smell. It makes a lot of cats feel protective towards you but maybe the change in your smell is confusing yours.

If he’s an outside cat I’d definitely be encouraging him to toilet outside. Do you have somewhere else for the litter tray to go so you don’t encounter it first thing? Try a covered tray as well maybe?

Ona practical level can you get DH to try clipping his claws (he will be a bit feisty to start off with if you haven’t done it before).

I would also suggest trying Zylkene capsules - they are designed to destress cats and helped my grumpy old cat to the point of being so laid back she could put teenagers to shame. You can get them from the vet or online.

@chinnyrekkon that's appalling advice. Locking an animal out in storms and all weather because someone can't even be bothered to rehome the poor cat they've decided they don't want to look after. If the OP decides she can't live with the cat, I hope she appeals to a rehoming charity & doesn't take this advice.

It's one thing to decide to rehome a cat but another to kick a defenceless animal outside in the hope he/she "finds an elderly neighbour". Not to mention the Croydon cat killer currently in action & SNARL's unmissable advice published everywhere asking pets to be kept indoors at night. I really hope you don't have pets.

OP, please do not follow the poster's advice to shut the cat outside. I'm opposed to rehoming on principle but that would be much better than just leaving the cat to the elements or worse.

Where roughly do you live? Sorry if this has already been asked.

Oh op this was never going to end well on here I'm afraid. Mumsnetters are passionate about their cats I think and often feel that a cat's wellbeing is more important than that of the humans around it.
I'll send you sympathy as I've persevered with a very difficult cat and it sounds as if things are incredibly tough right now. I hope you and your dh are able to find the right solution for all concerned.
Sending and hugs.

I sympathise. We have two cats and honestly I will never ever get cats again That's not to say I don't love them because I do and I've had them for ten years, but I get very little pleasure out of them compared to our dog, and they are far more destructive (cat puke on carpet, scratching doors in middle of the night, one of them likes chewing plastic, one sometimes likes to shit outside litter tray...etc). My DP jokes that he used to be a cat person until he actually ended up living with two of them! Ours are well looked after and we will keep them until they pass away but I can't say I enjoy cat ownership any more - they're just a responsibility I have.

I'm not usually an advocate for rehoming but sometimes its in the best interests of both parties. However, it might be a reaction to your pregnancy (animals can be weird) so I'd be tempted to wait and see if he chills out more once baby is here. I might try and encourage him to spend time outside longer too. Ours have traditionally been house cats but now we have moved somewhere a bit safer, they've started to go out and I'm hoping they'll end up spending a lot more time outside.

The very fact you said, you hate your cat, is enough to prevent me offering any kind of sympathy.
Poor creature.

The cat attacks, on purpose. It would be outside 24/7 if it did that to me repeatedly. Some cats never come indoors, it's not cruel.

Cat bites can cause horrendous infections. If the cat hates living with the op, then it can find a place it likes.

If you must stick it outside can't you get it a kennel or access to a garage with a warm space ?

Do not stick it outside!

I do sympathise as my cat is like this.
I had to conpletely change his diet and have his profile checked by the vet to find out what was wrong.

My cat would absolutely hate to be left outside. He’s a very anxious cat as he didn’t have the best start in life and he would probably just sit under a bush somewhere and not move until I let him back in. If I didn’t let him back in he’d just starve to death and be absolutely terrified.

If the cat hates living with the op, then it can find a place it likes.

You misread the thread title. The OP hates the cat, not the other way round.

I don't know why people look down on rehoming so much.

I got a kitty and she turned out to be a nightmare. Howling constantly, randomly attacking, going from purring to full on attack mode in a second. Refusing to use litter tray. She was a house cat and needed constant attention (I got a cat because they don't need that usually!)
Vet said there was nothing wrong with her, she was just 'one of those cat's.

I have children and couldn't cope.

Advertised and found an older couple with no kids who had decked out a whole bedroom for a cat. They took her and send photos weekly. Think she's the bees knees. Cat is less stressed in new environment. Im less stressed. New owners are happy.
It's a win all round.

I've not read the full thread but my cat is quite similar, I also think that males are more moody. Mine is fine in the summer but he turns into an absolute pain in the winter. He loves being outside but I feel like he blames me for the weather. He attacks me, pesters for food, meows at the door to go out but then won't. When he stalks me I squirt him with a water spray bottle, it only takes a few times and he has learned quickly not to attack.

I don't think people look down on rehoming, but it should be a last option. Some people just get pets on a whim, can't cope and then dump them or have them for years, then decided they are not worth the effort if circumstances change and dump them. That's what people look down on.

Rattymamma that's good for your cat - one of my two boys was also a renowned adult, and we do indeed adore him and so he's very much fallen on our feet (in this case there really was no other choice for his previous owner, though, who was devastated to have to give him up). Unfortunately, a lot of rehomed cats aren't as lucky, especially if - as OPs is, and by the sound of it yours wasn't - the cat is older. Thinking you can 'just' re-home a cat easily and happily isn't a realistic or reasonable assumption a lot of the time.

*rehomed not renowned. Though I think he would consider himself renowned, too!

I never thought for a second that I could 'just' rehome him. I think many people on here are assuming a lot less thought and emotion have gone into this decision than is actually the case. This decision has been months coming, after many attempts to make life easier for everybody, including the cat. He has been in our family for eleven years, of course we haven't taken any decision lightly, or happily.