It's another 'I hate my cat' one

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

For context: We rescued our cat (moggy) when he was 7 weeks old (tiny, I know) from a local woman with newborn twins who was struggling to cope. We have always taken good care of him, regular check ups, wormings, flea treatments etc. He has outside access (though he doesn't roam far) and, until recently, was an easy and gentle pet.

He's eleven now, and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and he's a completely different animal. He constantly begs for food, despite being given a very generous diet. He hounds my every footstep for hours all day and when I don't feed him he attacks my feet. He attacks me daily, unprovoked and often for no reason. The image I've posted is a scar from a deep scratch I received through my leggings, while I was just sitting watching tv one evening. He doesn't attack DH or 3yo DS, just me. He also STINKS, I have HG and just can't handle the smell of his box at all. DH cleans and sifts it regularly but his smells stick around for hours.

We've taken him to the vet, he's healthy. We've installed Feliway diffusers upstairs and downstairs. We've made sure that he has as much outside access as he wants.

But I'm living on constant tenterhooks around him and tbh I'm fucking sick of it. I guiltily fantasise about rehoming him and never having to smell him or have chunks gouged out of my ankles again. I just don't know what to do. DH is much less bothered by it all than I am, but he isn't covered in scars!

Melj - Feliway? Oh we have two of those diffusers. One upstairs and one down.

It's not my fault I have HG either, but I do and it's exacerbated by the cat's smells.

Have you ever vomited several times a day, every day, for six months?

Could you maybe wear noseplugs when you go to the bathroom so you dont smell the catbox? Or use airfreshener spray? Or a dab of vicks under your nose? It is at least using the box - how much worse would it be if the cat was pooing in random places!

You have 4 pages of suggestions...you claim you've tried all of them. Why are you still here? You clearly want to re-home it so do it.

You've made up your mind, I don't understand why you're here arguing with people?

Yes, 9 years ago when I had DD.

That doesn't change the fact that the cat is doing nothing wrong by using the litter box as usual and you can't hold the cat continuing with normal behaviour against them.

I'm really sorry but to suggest I dab Vicks under my nose shows you misunderstand just how debilitating HG can be. And I don't say that meanly, you just don't get it.

If any of that stuff worked I'd be doing it every day. I have the strongest medication they're allowed to prescribe. I often breathe through a scarf or snood to try and prevent smells from affecting me.

Our vet suggested a water spray when the cat was biting. You can get things that sound a noise that they don’t like as well. Only had to do it a couple of times before they got the message! And if they bit when they were on my knee I’d just put them down so they lost their warm spot which seemed to discourage it.
Looking into getting toys they can play with and pounce on independently will likely help as well.

You're right Wellfuckme, but I've tried pretty much everything at this stage and was wondering if anyone could understand how shitty I feel about the decision I'm slowly coming to.

Obviously they don't. Fine. IABU.

But for my own health and that of my unborn child I will have to rehome this cat. By the sounds of it he'll have had a lucky escape.

He's bored.

If you can't or won't play with him, buy him some toys that he can play on his own. You can get battery operated ones, or balls with food in that they have to play with to get treats out of.

Our cat can get a bit like that at times - normally when he's bored or overstimulated. I just ignore him or place him in another room when it gets too much - he calms down eventually.

I’m pregnant and my cat stinks to me all of a sudden, he’s started peeing in random places around the house, I’m also allergic to him and he hates me all of a sudden - also the kids. He was VERY placid before I got pregnant. VERY.

He’s 5 now so isn’t old... he’s just turned into a cunt. I’m hoping when pregnancy induced allergies bugger off and I can properly fuss him that he will like me again and calm down.

I don’t know. Cats are cunts. I love this particular cunt but I can see why people are dog people but not so much why cat people are cat people

But for my own health and that of my unborn child I will have to rehome this cat

You knew that before you even posted.

Why bother posting?

I'm sorry you have HG but that's not your poor cat's fault.

Then put the litter tray somewhere you can't smell it and let your DH clear it out. Or, as already suggested, get the cat used to using the next door's garden for it's toilet.

I've tried pretty much everything at this stage and was wondering if anyone could understand how shitty I feel about the decision I'm slowly coming to.

If you'd been honest and said 'I've decided to do this and feel awful about it but need a handhold because I just can't cope' you'd have got really different responses. But you seemed to hope that people would tell you entirely unprompted that you have no choice and are doing the right thing - and that's just not what they think.

All my friends, even that cat mad ones, can see how hard I've tried and how I've struggled with this.

It's not like I woke up this morning, decided I hated my cat and stuck him on Gumtree.

So, will one of your 'cat mad' friends take him in?

I don't have HG (very sorry that you do), but I would puke up if there was cat shit in my bathroom in the morning. Or anywhere in my house frankly.

Can you put his litter tray outside, show him, and have a catflap or very easy access for him to get to it?

No they won't take him in, because they've seen the state of my legs.

What about the litter tray?

No they won't take him in, because they've seen the state of my legs

But surely they also know him as the 'easy and gentle pet' that he was until recently?

No they won't take him in, because they've seen the state of my legs

But the cat may well have a problem with you personally (more specifically, with your pregnancy).

They may be cat mad, but if they can't make this distinction they don't sound very cat bright.

I'm sure cats can sense pregnancy and don't like it!
We had a usually friendly, old rescue cat and he wouldn't go near me once I was pregnant. A few days before DD2 was born started scratching me if I stroked him and hissed at me, then after DD was born he was fine again!

I'm sorry this is happening OP. I've owned (been owned by should I say) lots of cats in my life. They're all different. Some are cuddly, some funny, some aloof, some want to be carried round all day in your hoody, some hating being picked up at all and yes, some are dicks. Totally horrid little buggers that despite them being treated exactly the same as every other cat, just decide to act like little bastards sometimes. And I agree, as has already been said, a dog acting vicious with no provocation would likely have been put down long before this point.

My own kitty who I hand reared from 2 weeks after her feral mother was killed can turn nasty on a whim sometimes. It's rare, it's unprovoked and it's bloody painful. However, I am willing to put up with it because of a few things: I'm not pregnant. I'm not suffering illness. I don't have a special needs child to care for and most importantly, I don't have the fact that I will be bringing home a defenceless newborn baby home to a house where an aggressive animal lives. 11 years or not, the last bit is what would convince me to rehome. It's not always a bad thing. Yes they may miss you but they may also prefer a different lifestyle elsewhere. You're not a bad guy. You have done everything. You have ticked all the boxes. Vet check: done. Feliway Diffusers: tried. Access to wet and dry food: yep. Free access in or out: yep.

You've tried. It sounds like your mind is made up and that's it. Rehoming, whilst too often taken too lightly with no regard for the animals, is sometimes the answer.

I wouldn't rush out to get another pet again though.

Be aware that if you take the cat to a shelter, due to his age and the behavioural problems you described, the shelter will probably put him down, or at best he will live in a cage for the rest of his life.

You should never own an animal again.

No they won't take him in, because they've seen the state of my legs.

Not really 'cat mad' then, are they? Most cat owners have been scratched at some time or other, it's par for the course. And this cat is not a bad cat just an upset cat who needs a bit of love and attention.

I'm guessing it was you DH who wanted the kitten originally?

Ive taken on a 18 year old cantankerous female cat..she is very quick with her claws but will also have a fuss on her terms....my advice is to pop your cat somewhere safe for a few hours each day so you can a bit of a break.....better weather will be here soon so the cat can spend more time outside....