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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have lost the will to live

406 replies

lovelystar · 18/02/2018 03:15

Someone please give me some advice or something, anything to take my mind of how fuming I am.

I am being induced tomorrow at 11am, boyfriend went for a pint with a friend, fine, said he'd be back by 12, fine, gives me a chance to bath/clean/chill.

It's now 3am he has just stumbled in absolutely steaming, rang the doorbell constantly, waking me up even though he had his keys on him. He's been sick in the bedroom/bathroom knocking everything over. To top it all off I'm now on the sofa as he's diagonal across the bed snoring his head off and he's far to heavy for me to move him.

You know any other night I may have found it slightly amusing and left him to it. I just wanted tonight of all nights to not be woken up and kept awake and having to get up early to clean up all his sick before I come home with the baby. He will be a nightmare to get up in the morning and I don't think I can face the dramatics and moodiness of him when I have to get up and go and have a baby.

Would I be a complete bitch if I left him to it and went and had the baby myself and made him regret it for a long time. Or is that a step too far? It's my first baby and a high risk pregnancy. Sorry for the rant it's early/late and I'm angry.

OP posts:
MrsElvis · 18/02/2018 11:23

Do you really want him there? It's not too late to send him away

AwesomeMixTapeVol1 · 18/02/2018 11:24

I hope it all goes well for you, I hope he doesn't spoil your first moments with your baby, and I hope he pulls his head out of his selfish, childish arse and isn't a twat anymore. You're about to have a child together so he needs to grow up.

Andrewofgg · 18/02/2018 11:25

God almighty OP even if you have been in the wrong from time to time (and you probably have, nobody is perfect) this isn’t the time to mention it?

Tell him to bugger off home and have the place in apple pie order when you and your LO get home. Please!

Stilllivinginazoo · 18/02/2018 11:29

Good luck lovely!
Concentrate on your and baby needs- you will always remember the day you meet your little one.make it all about you!! and if he's too much of a pita the staff can eject him for you
Sending positive vibes for an easy,speedy labour

Groovee · 18/02/2018 11:30

Good luck OP x

Ginger1982 · 18/02/2018 11:31

OP, I was induced 2 weeks early and it took 3 days from start of induction to baby being born, 2 days of sitting twiddling my thumbs and potentially 2 days of you feeling uncomfortable and stressed when you should be relaxing. I would ask him to leave until you go into actual labour and then decide if you want him there.

NewSingleMummy · 18/02/2018 11:33

Good luck OP.. hope your little one doesn't keep you waiting too long. You need to focus on yourself and baby today.. ignore the man child.

JustCatMumAtTheMo · 18/02/2018 11:36

What an arse!! I hope 🤞don't let him spoil today for you x

GnotherGnu · 18/02/2018 11:37

He's awake, wanted to pee while I was in the shower told him to wait and just got 'are you doing to be a bitch all day'.

I hope you asked him if he was going to be a cunt all his life.

Morphene · 18/02/2018 11:40

I have no idea why you've let this baggage follow you to the hospital, but I hope it all goes well for you! Flowers

seven201 · 18/02/2018 11:45

I am shocked that he hasn't been grovelling all day. What a shit bag. Sorry

LucyMorningStar · 18/02/2018 11:46

You'd be better off alone than having him sitting there with his slapped-arse face while you're trying to bring a human into this world. What an absolute disgrace of a man.

Good luck!

ssd · 18/02/2018 11:47

I'd leave hospital with the baby but without him

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/02/2018 11:49

Lordy, I hope he's behaving himself now! Worratwat.

If he's still annoying you, get the MWs to tell him to sod off home again and sleep it off. AND clean up his shit while he's there.

His response to his inexcusable immaturity and wankerishness from last night will pretty much set the seal on what sort of partner and father he's going to be, I think - once he's sobered up properly and got through his hangover, if he's apologetic and can't do enough to help make up for it, then he's worth hanging onto with the proviso that he NEVER does something so fucking stupid and selfish again - but if he keeps blaming you and calling you a bitch, then fuck him off now and go it alone.

Hard though it would be to be on your own with a new baby, it would be worse being virtually on your own with a new baby and a selfish immature prick of a manchild.

sportyfool · 18/02/2018 11:51

Being induced can take 2 days or so . I would just go and leave him at home . Let him get himself there . Take his credit card and get a cab !! Idiot !!

JaneEyre70 · 18/02/2018 11:52

I'm genuinely fuming on your behalf that he would do that to you the night before you are being induced. My DH was lovely on the times we were waiting for our babies to come - you should have been being looked after and reassured. I'd honestly send him home, you're not going to cope well being induced with him there. It may even hamper your labour. I wouldn't be with a man that treated me like that and I'm so sorry that today has been shit because of him Flowers.

BrendasUmbrella · 18/02/2018 11:53

A man who can call you names and make you feel awful within the same hour of you being induced with his baby is someone I'd have very strong concerns about. If you had used GnotherGnus line, do you think you would have been safe?

Enjoy your new baby, I hope they don't take too long to arrive, but please think about the environment you want to raise him//her in. Flowers

TheJoyOfSox · 18/02/2018 11:57

I’ve just read the full thread and your fella has made me so cross!

You will have enough to deal with when you bring your baby home. You’ll be sore, emotional, tired and liable to stay tired for a long while. You’ll have enough work by means of washing, prep of bottles or sore boobs, do you really need your fella adding to your schedule? And calling you a bitch too.

If you have a son, do you want him to grow up thinking that calling his partner a bitch is acceptable?
If you have a daughter, do you want her to grow up thinking that affection from a man involves verbal abuse?

Only you know if you want to go or stay with him, but I must say he doesn’t sound much of a catch.

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 18/02/2018 11:58

I'm not one of the immediate LTB brigade but I am honestly appalled by him. Both last night and this morning. I would seriously consider telling him it's over. Just awful.
Good luck with the birth OP.

rainbowlou · 18/02/2018 11:59

What an arse..please don’t let him spoil this time for you, if he is making you feel uncomfortable tell him to leave.
My H forgot we weren’t in the 1950’s when I had our son and he went out to wet the baby’s head within an hour of us getting home.
I wish I’d told him not to bother coming back because I can’t look back at that day without feeling resentment.
Flowers

Qvar · 18/02/2018 12:04

I thought you had moved in with your mum?

Your last thread made it abundantly clear that this man will be an abusive and neglectful father, and you said you were leaving to live with your mum. SO why are you still there?

Obviously you can't fix this now, you're having a baby. But how unkind that your mum has gone on ANOTHER trip, she was on a trip last time you posted!

LemonysSnicket · 18/02/2018 12:09

Wow.

No ones birthing should be marred by that level of twattishness. Tell him to leave and not come back.

Qvar · 18/02/2018 12:11

This man has cheated on you, abused you, pretended to leave you, actually left for several days, and now on the day of your induction has come home steaming drunk and vomiting.

I genuinely believe you. I know men like this, I don't think for a moment that you're making this up but LovelyStar YOU HAVE TO GET AWAY.

because this man isn't fit to raise a dog and can you imagine if he had come home last night and you had already had your baby? There's no evidence whatsoever that he's even willing to change, much less that he's able to.

So please, THIS time, GO TO YOUR MUM.

And if circumstances with your mum have changes, if she no longer welcomes you or doesn't want the baby there, tell your midwives everything and ask them to get you away from him. They can make referals to women's services and ALL have training in spotting domestic abuse

MadMags · 18/02/2018 12:15

Omg OP! Take your baby and go to your mother’s.

This is about more than you now. Don’t fuck up your child’s life!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/02/2018 12:17

Send him home. Tell him to clean up the house.

Preferably tell him to fuck off out of the house & your life. He’s nothing but bad news.