Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have lost the will to live

406 replies

lovelystar · 18/02/2018 03:15

Someone please give me some advice or something, anything to take my mind of how fuming I am.

I am being induced tomorrow at 11am, boyfriend went for a pint with a friend, fine, said he'd be back by 12, fine, gives me a chance to bath/clean/chill.

It's now 3am he has just stumbled in absolutely steaming, rang the doorbell constantly, waking me up even though he had his keys on him. He's been sick in the bedroom/bathroom knocking everything over. To top it all off I'm now on the sofa as he's diagonal across the bed snoring his head off and he's far to heavy for me to move him.

You know any other night I may have found it slightly amusing and left him to it. I just wanted tonight of all nights to not be woken up and kept awake and having to get up early to clean up all his sick before I come home with the baby. He will be a nightmare to get up in the morning and I don't think I can face the dramatics and moodiness of him when I have to get up and go and have a baby.

Would I be a complete bitch if I left him to it and went and had the baby myself and made him regret it for a long time. Or is that a step too far? It's my first baby and a high risk pregnancy. Sorry for the rant it's early/late and I'm angry.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldandback · 18/02/2018 20:24

Another one saying when you have the strength, please leave. I like you had an abusive selfish prick with me giving both, he actually told me to shut the fuck up as I was making to much noiseSad. Your baby will pick up on your stress. Obviously I can’t be sure, but my ds has always been anxious.

Look down the line- it could all still come good. I’m now remarried to the most lovely, kind person who my kids adore as their stepdad. This could be you. As for today, don’t waste another minute of stress on this wanker and just focus on yourself and your gorgeous little one x

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 18/02/2018 20:34

Thinking of you Lovelystar, I hope it's all going well.

PotteryLady · 18/02/2018 20:39

Good luck Thanks

WellThisIsShit · 18/02/2018 22:43

Thinking of you lovelystar

Original poster
lovelystar · 19/02/2018 00:11

Thank you everyone, he has left now not sure when or if coming back. Had pessary put in at 12pm still here at 12am and nothing happening so all I can do is sleep and look foward to more free food :) thank you all for your kind thoughts x

OP posts:
GeekyWombat · 19/02/2018 00:56

Just rest up and sleep for now. There’s time to figure out the rest. It won’t be long till you meet your baby! Thinking of you.

Saffronwblue · 19/02/2018 01:11

Enjoy resting and being looked after. Everything will be OK.

Qvar · 19/02/2018 01:19

Tell the midwifes now not to bother ringing him if you go into labour

Reason being, if they ring and can’t get hold of him, which is a pattern for him, you will be heartbroken. So don’t ring him. You will be better off with a midwife helping you. Have you ting your mum and told her your being induced?

Original poster
lovelystar · 19/02/2018 02:36

@qvar yes my mum knows and is coming tomorrow, my family are very far away so she has to book accomadation. Also have a family member very seriously ill in hospital back home and it's a bit hit and miss so everything is a bit emotional at the moment for everyone!

OP posts:
Ennirem · 19/02/2018 03:17

Haven't RTFT but I have to tell you, your perspective on his selfishness is about to change forever. What might have been merely frustrating and upsetting, or even "amusing", when it was just thinking he was disrespecting and hurting, will give you cold rage when he is doing it to your baby. Your whole worldview will shift, and this UTTER BULLSHIT he has pulled on you and anything like it will seem so unacceptable it's not even true. Because it IS unacceptable. You should value yourself more Flowers

Good luck with the birth, and the baby. Ditch the waste of human skin you're currently calling a boyfriend. So angry on your behalf!

Ennirem · 19/02/2018 03:18

^when it was just you

smeerf · 19/02/2018 03:22

Hey OP, I just woke up and thought of you. I'm 40+4 and no sign of labour yet so I'll be in your shoes shortly. I'm really excited for you getting to meet your baby!

I heard that after labour you get this huge rush of "if I can go that, I can do anything!" type feeling. So ride that wave and use it to power your next decisions. Good luck.

Afreshcuppateaplease · 19/02/2018 10:05

Hope your having newborn cuddles op

Original poster
lovelystar · 19/02/2018 13:22

@ennirem thank you, I think part of it at the moment is that I thought it woild be less hassle and easier to just stay with him but I know as soon as baby arrives my tolerance will pretty much disappear. I had a a bit start to my life because the person who gave birth to me refused to give up certain parts of her lifestyle because of a man and I'd never repeat the cycle Sad

@smeerf good luck!

@afreshcuppa ubfortunatley no cuddles yet, he's being very stubborn Blush

OP posts:
Afreshcuppateaplease · 19/02/2018 13:27

Aww no!

Well i hope you are being well looked after Brew

Ennirem · 19/02/2018 13:38

Aw @lovelystar, I feel you! My mum has just cut me off because I won't let her move in with me (she is 60 and has a mortgage free house just for reference). It is so important to me to put my daughter first always, as she never ever did with me. Good luck to you! I was induced too, it's am utter ballache wishing you lovely baby hugs and a speedy recovery soon, so you can start planning your new (better!) life without him! It may seem impossibly difficult now, but trust me when you see your baby, and realise that he preferred to get pissed and risk not being there for the birth of his child, any love left will die and all you're going to want to do is get him out of your baby's life whatever the cost xxx

goose1964 · 19/02/2018 13:52

Ask hope that the induction went well. My first thought was that his mates were playing him with alcohol possibly making him feel that his fun was over.

DoinItForTheKids · 19/02/2018 14:08

So what if they were though Goose, a decent bloke would tell them to sod off, tell them that he's not losing anything but gaining everything, and that they should grow up. If in fact they were 'plying him; with booze for that purpose, he clearly wouldn't recognise immaturity of that nature because he's so immature and self centred himself.

CircleofWillis · 19/02/2018 18:53

Any sign of babystar yet OP?

CaptainCabinets · 19/02/2018 19:56

Oh OP! Just RTFT after having the tab open all day and I'm Angry for you! I so hope you're cuddling a little ball of squish right about now Smile

Stilllivinginazoo · 19/02/2018 20:12

Hoping it wasn't well and you're both doing ok(not "d"p he can f off to far side of f off then f off bit more)Flowers

Stilllivinginazoo · 19/02/2018 20:13

Apologies,my phone's renowned rewriting as I press sendBlush
Should've said hope it all went well

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 19/02/2018 20:18

Best of luck, OP! You’ve got a great attitude and let’s be honest, this is not the man who is going to put you first and look after you and your baby whilst you both figure parenting out. He is a selfish manchild. You are so much better than this. Stay strong.

I expect I’ll gst flamed for this but please ensure you understand parental rights and what they mean when your registering the baby and committing names to the birth certificate. Think long and hard about what surname your baby will have. Take care

Unicornwhisperer · 19/02/2018 21:23

Fingers crossed for you Lovely.... hope all is going well 💐

Original poster
lovelystar · 19/02/2018 22:51

Just a quick update, no baby yet ubfortunatley! Not moving me to the Labour ward until tomorrow afternoon, I had the pessary in for 30 hours and nothing [shock
Thank you again for all.kind thoughts, will reply individually/properly as soon as possible Flowers

OP posts: