to ask if I've f*cked up

[pipandco]

Sometimes I have these moments of panic that I've fucked up in terms of a career...so here we go. Sorry if this ends up pretty long!

So I graduated 2015 age 23.

I'm from Surrey and most people I know went straight from uni into London on graduate schemes. I didn't feel at all ready for this- mainly because most were 2 year long schemes and I didn't want to commit to that especially as I was clueless as to what I wanted to do. On top of that (and this may sound silly to some or like a cop-out) but my self esteem was at it's all time lowest around this time. For various reasons my confidence had taken a dive from around age 19 and I almost didn't feel good enough for a "proper adult job." I just didn't want the suit-tie-commute-into-london-corporate-life that my peers were going for.

Not wanting to move home, I decided on a total whim to take a job in a hotel in a very remote location that offered accommodation. It was intending to stay until the end of the year but I ended up there for 14 months (September of 2016 I left.)

I knew I really wanted to travel for a year or more at some point before settling down into a career. I planned on doing this from around the end of 2016. However various things kept me at home- mainly family issues- that meant I really had to postpone. Again not wanting to commit to a career per se as I really wasn't sure how long I'd be around for, I ended up working in a family friend's cafe for a few months and then went onto nannying. A friend of my mum's was looking for a full time nanny. I had a fair bit of childcare experience so thought why not. I did that until January of this year.

Now finally I am off to do the travelling I always talked about. In March I am heading to NZ and will make my way around NZ, Aus, and SE Asia from there. I'll be working a little in Aus to keep the funds up.

It'll be around March 2019 that I get back, which will make me 2 months short of being 27.

I understand plenty of people have a career change at any age, but I really fear that employees will look at me and essentially wonder wtf I have been doing with myself since graduating in 2015. Hotel work, nannying, bits of retail/cafe work with no direction. I should stress that my work ethic isn't at question- I've worked consistently since age 15 and all through university. I definitely feel like my mental health was a big reason why I didn't go straight into the workforce. Then desperately wanting to travel meant I faffed around for far too long.

I'm also worried as I know I definitely don't want to work in London but am not sure where to head to! I've visited Manchester a lot and love it so am thinking perhaps there.

I know comparing oneself to others is a huge mistake but I can't help but see my peers on facebook going up in the world and I feel really lost and annoyed at myself for falling behind. I have a vague idea of what I'd like to do after my travels, but as I say I'm worried employees will think I'm a bit of a f*ck up. I also worry about getting on the property ladder. After my travels I should have around £20k left of savings, which obviously won't get me far!

Honest opinions would be amazing. Sorry for rambling!

Anthropology is a doss subject?? Can't help but laugh. Can you explain to me why it's offered at oxbridge if it's a "doss subject"?
You are talking utter nonsense. OP please don't be discouraged by such negative and spiteful posts.

Why do you have to have a "career" type job and join the treadmill. Why can't u keep earning and keep on travelling - it sounds fab

I think swan needs to calm down. A degree in anthropology won’t stand you in as good stead as one of the other arts based subjects such as history etc.

Also, it doesn’t seem that the OP went to Oxbridge and therefore harking on about the degrees they offer because a former teacher of yours mentioned it is not only beside the point but a little childish.

Honestly, don't worry about it. Life isn't all about the rat race.

I was in a similar position to you at your age, though I hadn't even managed some decent savings, and 10 years later I have a house with half the mortgage paid off, a decent career and the usual trappings of a reasonable income. I don't earn six figures, but I've never been interested in that.

You've got the basics right, a work ethic and a good education. If at any time you decide the nomadic life doesn't suit you, you'll be an asset to anyone and you can build a career quite quickly if you put the effort in.

Enjoy your travels

Retraining as a teacher (like Swan’s brother) would be a good plan if you want a career. But if you don’t want to accrue any more debt then it probably isn’t the job for you. You’d also have to have a good understanding of a different subject (anthropology isn’t offered at school level) or train as a primary teacher (which, incidentally, is my line of work).

I don't need to calm down thanks flouncy I'm just fine.

But as someone who actually did study a "doss subject" (events management) and have been laughed at for it, I'm at a loss as to how a highly academic degree is considered a doss subject and you seem to be putting OP down to get some sort of rise.

There's a lot of negativity on this thread, so I thought I'd add my experience as a counter.

I didn't enter the workforce properly until I was 28. I did a PhD after graduating which was pretty useless in employment terms. I got on a grad scheme in a big company, put my head down, learnt lots very quickly, then got a job with a smaller, very highly regarded agency in my industry. Had a baby at 33, went back full time, continued to progress in my career and am now at 37 with the job title I aspired to, very healthy salary, pregnant again and no regrets.

I don't think you've fucked up at all, but you need to be very focused from here on in. For me, it wouldn't have been an advantage to start my career at 22 as I'm sure I would have gotten itchy feet and been worried about what I was 'missing out' on. I'm glad I had a range of experiences before a formal career path.

Good luck OP, but I see no reason why things won't work out of you are focused and determined.

OP you definitely haven't left anything too late. There are loads of employers who prefer a graduate with a bit of life experience (within reason - so yours is fine -did xyz so I could save and travel then come back and get stuck into career etc), rather than some of the rather green ones who start work straight out of university. There is something magical about travelling pre-responsibilities and there's absolutely no comparison with travelling when you're older. As pps have said, both are great but definitely not the same. Most (not all) of my friends went travelling in their 20s and are mostly all professionals doing really well. There isn't really much difference in the life successes of those who went travelling and those who didn't so whichever you choose, you can make it fine. I would say just do one stretch of travelling and then come back and job hunt. Have a fantastic time and good luck!

Well, compared to events management, yes anthropology isn’t a doss (that’s not a dig, I worked in events management as my first job for a few months). But compared to PPE, history, philosophy, Eng Lit etc it is (in my opinion).

I’m not trying to get a rise, just being realistic.

And to Laurie there’s a huge difference to completing a PhD post under-grad and going off to work in hotels and cafes. One shows academic commitment and rigour (regardless of relevance to eventual career) and the other shows a lack of direction.

That’s the brutal truth.

The city has been de-layering for years and is full of people working long hours for less money than you think! It’s not in my experience the wonderful place it is portrayed to be on mumsnet.

I would probably look at something more entrepreneurial in direction than a “city” job but enjoy the traveling first !

And to Laurie there’s a huge difference to completing a PhD post under-grad and going off to work in hotels and cafes.

I don't know, it certainly wasn't more directly helpful to my job. It's in a fairly niche and for want of a better word 'self indulgent' subject.

And for what it's worth, my industry hires lots of people like the OP, with travel and casual work under their belt. It's all about the individual and how you sell it.

And you're absolutely wrong about anthropology, it's a long standing, well regarded arts degree, exactly the same as the ones you name check. Not sure why you're determined to give the OP such a kicking.

I remember crying and feeling like my world had caved in when I dropped out of uni at 18 (science). I fell into a deep depression. which took me a year to climb out of. My doctor urged me to go travelling. I was too scared (stupid me).

At 19 I went on to study a different more arty subject. Moved countries and worked in that area for 6 years. Hated it. Went to the jungle for 2 months to 'find myself'.

Came back and decided to go back to uni, back to science. Had to work full-time and study part-time as no money.

Almost 10 years later (38) I am in a career I love, have enough money to travel lots, married to a lovely man, will be mortgage free in 10 years and pension's looking fine too. Sure I am 10 years younger than the majority of people at my level in my chosen career but who cares? I live my life, they live theirs. I wouldn't give up any of my experiences for anything.

You have the world at your feet. Travel, enjoy life, you're going to be ok, you sound like you have a really good head on your shoulders!

I wouldn't worry too much. If you really want to travel you should probably do it now when you still can. You can never predict the future and if there are things you want to do, crack on now or you may never have the chance. Same goes for the people that want to get their careers going. It's just different strokes for different folks.

Granted, I'm not very career focussed and a bit of a drifter but my mum always told me to do what I want so I've done that and been fairly happy. I moved to the uk for uni and graduated late, at the age of 25, and did odd jobs for a couple of years and only started a "proper" job when I was 27. I'm now 33 and doing ok in middle management (ok I'm not raking it in as I work for a charity but it's a nice job) and have a house and a family and things to look forward to. I think I could be earning a lot more had I started uni earlier and gone straight into a graduate scheme after graduating, but I travelled and moved to another country and had a laugh with my now husband and I'm glad I got to do those things. Now I enjoy the "boring" home life (genuinely do!).

You'll sort it out somehow. Hope you have fun in the process!

You haven't fucked up but I do think you need to start being slightly more strategic.
Drop the resentment about your mum stopping you doing a film/tv degree. Before you leave on your travels, buy a decent camera, complete a short vocational course on film/tv (if you haven't already done so) and then you can combine your studies (anthropology) with your love (film/tv) whilst you are travelling. Make short films about the places you visit and the people you meet or/and pick up short term contracts in local tv stations (eg runners, admin, coffee-maker). At least then when employers look at your CV, there is a reason behind the travelling and you've managed to utilise your degree and your passion.

When you get back from your travelling you could use the 20k to go to film school. Most people never really know "what they want to do" at least you have a definite interest in a particular field. Do it or you will look back with regret.

Haven't RTFT bit go for it. Go and travel, go to Manchester and see if you can get into TV/film via the BBC in Salford! Loads of opportunities.

I was crazy about film when I was young, did a few months work experience at a small film editing suite in Soho in the 80s and had an amazing time. I WISH I'd stayed there and worked my way up to a "proper" career in that field, or at least given myself the chance to try it out.

Instead, I had a bee in my bonnet about going to volunteer in a kibbutz and stayed much longer, met my future husband. Whilst I went on to have good jobs in various things, I regret not pursuing my earlier passion.

You will have hugely valuable transferable skills from your degree, working in different jobs and from travelling too. You have 40 years of an average working life ahead of you. It really is not too late!

I'm a bit biased as I went backpacking at 27 (and I wasn't the oldest one on the circuit, so don't worry!) it was amazing, I learnt loads and don't regret it for a moment!

What might be worth working on over the next year or so is making sure you can make the case for why you are very employable, as some (not all) employers may prefer more traditional candidates. Brainstorm all the things you have learnt and done whether that's actual training courses or experience working with difficult customers, managing other staff, multitasking etc etc.

I put on my teacher training application that working as a waitress gave me experience of monitoring a room full of people and keeping in my head which tables needed what (who would soon be ready for dessert order, who needed clearing away now, who had been waiting just a bit too long so I should apologise) would stand me on good stead for organising a busy classroom. And I stand by that, it did . But I think the fact that I could explain that and show off a bit, also helped!

I think someone who says, "I have a large range of skills from my wide and varied experience and I've thought long and hard about a career in x so I know it's the right choice for me. I'm really excited by what I can bring to your company" is a much better prospect than someone who went into a grad scheme after uni because they didn't know what else to do and ended up staying there (not that everyone on a grad scheme is in that situation obviously!) But if you go in feeling like you're not good enough and you've not done enough then you probably won't present yourself in the best light.

I haven't rtht so forgive me if I'm repeating what other people have said!

Right, you have your own one life - just live it! Travel, see the world, work out who you are and what it is you want to do. Honestly, no good employer is going to pass up the chance of taking on someone who's developed themselves in this way.
Please, for your own sake, go and explore, see the world, find out who you are and what you want to be. It's not time wasted, I promise you. The job/mortgage/bills will be waiting for you in later life.
Have fun!

I will second that. Would you consider doing a post grad in forensic anthropology?

I think with the troubles you've had you'd have struggled on a graduate scheme, so you are very lucky/sensible to have dodged that.

There are different models for living life. One is to give your all to your career until you have a lot of money, and spend a lot of money on your downtime (which you won't have much of while you're building up your career). Another model is to spend less on your non-work time, then you don't need to have such a high-flying career to support it. Both can give you the same level of satisfaction overall.

It isn't obligatory to have "a career". If a decent job suits you, enough to pay the bills and leave some money left over for the lifestyle you want, I think that it a perfectly sensible ambition.

If you want a career though, another thing to consider might be whether you are intending to start a family. In career terms, you will have written off a lot of your twenties. If you are then hit 30 and want to start a family, you will be having maternity leave, potentially want a career break or reduced hours while the children are young and your career will take another hit. It's not insurmountable, but something to consider.

A friend of mine did social anthropology, went on to do a PhD and works in overseas development for the UN. The idea that it's not a respected degree is absurd. It's a popular degree for people who go onto aid work/ development work abroad, or to academic research which can be extremely interesting. You could consider the civil service, social work, politics etc.

In all honesty OP what I would do is this: combine your desire to travel with some kind of activity that also contributes to your career. You could do volunteer work for any charity, you could do a TEFAL training and teach English abroad.

At the moment your travel plans look like a very long holiday...

Dear OP,

I had a 'gap decade' after graduation (travel, waitress jobs, the lot). I'll never be as well off as folks who didn't, and indeed feel rather precarious and will be working until I basically die. That's the bad bit, and there's no use in not looking it right in its face. My mates are retiring and I'm still paying off 100K on my bloody mortgage. My retirement plan includes keeping up with the yoga so I can get in and out of the bins behind McDonalds.

The good bit is that I'm really happy. I went back to uni at your age (actually a bit older) and did an MA in a subject I love. I've been a lecturer since then and have just published my eleventh book. Numbers nine and ten were up for very prestigious awards. Needless to say, I am beloved by the REF committee at my Russel Group uni.

I had a baby late and am so glad I did. I'm chilled and wise and feel like I've done a pretty good job.

For whatever reason, I needed that additional time between my BA and MA. And that's what I'm going to suggest to you. Blowing your 20K savings on a really top class MA with great post-degree employability stats would be a good idea when you return from your travels. If you want a job in TV - look for a post-grad degree in production, or whatever you want to do. You could spend your travels vlogging on a certain theme, so you've got an amazing portfolio. If you're really not sure, get an MA in a business-related discipline (HR? Hospitality Management?) - again, really concentrating on courses where 85-100% of folks get a great job right out of the starting blocks.

Look at the jobs you want when you return and think about how you can start to look good, like you've been thinking (and viewing?) this whole time and have now rather dusted off your hands and thought, 'Right, I'm having some of that.' So, the vlogging thing if you go for telly, or maybe blog about how restaurant service is structured in the various places you go, comparing it to the UK, or...well, you'll have to think.

Basically, get ready to tell another story about what you've been doing. You've been exploring the world. You've been reading and viewing and getting working experience at the pointy end. You've been having a serious think. Now you're about to start doing something amazing. You haven't just been lost - I wasn't really 'gapping'. I was writing the whole time, just biding my time until I felt ready. So have you.

Oh. And you might want to start doing yoga.

I have yet to see a rule book that says you must have a career mortgage car etc. by a predetermined age if ever. Look at the things you love and see how you can maximize those things. They may not be the same as what makes your friends or family happy. I have friends who are explorers, climbers, ultra runners, cyclists, adventurers, writers, artists, film makers and many others the fund their life by any means they can... Consultancy, temping, casual, nothing, writing, sponsorship, events. Some have houses they rent out while they are away others rent others live in their vans or with friends when they pass through. At the age of 40 I decided it was time to settle down and get a. " proper" job....I am now thinking that it is time to take a break from that and poodle off again.

Speaking as someone who has done a lot of recruiting of graduates over the years, I would say a 2-year hiatus after university would not really raise eyebrows - however any longer and a potential employer might begin to wonder,so I would say it is important now that you focus and choose your next step wisely

I would say a 2-year hiatus after university would not really raise eyebrows - however any longer and a potential employer might begin to wonder,so I would say it is important now that you focus and choose your next step wisely

I agree with this.