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AIBU?

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To think the demographics of families using Grammar schools, are the ones that used private schools in the 80s and 90s.

243 replies

mountford100 · 16/02/2018 16:12

I look at my DDs grammar schools and notice many of the parents driving mid range Mercedes and Bmw and Volvo's. Whereas The private school families can be seen to picking up their kids in thier 'Betaganya's and Cayanne's ' (Bentley's and Porsche's).

This is a culture and wealth difference that has developed over the last 30 years or so . I can remember my father having an aforementioned Bmw 7 Series.

This was the 'best car' at my grammar school and was equal to what my friends families with children at private schools had.

It seems today that £60k cars are the norm of grammar schools and £150k cars are normal at private schools.

This i think explains why Private schools have become the domain of the Wealthy. Private schools have removed if not by fees than socially even the offspring of Doctors ,Accountants and other professional people.

30 years ago were able to attend Private schools because their mother took a part time job up to pay the fees.

This is no longer available !

OP posts:
mountford100 · 16/02/2018 16:14

Children were able to attend private school , because their mother took a part time job.

OP posts:
FluffyWuffy100 · 16/02/2018 16:34

Yup.

Private school fees have had pretty hefty inflation. House prices have gone up more than salaries = bigger mortgage commitment.

Many professionals choose to play the 'selection by house price' and pay the house price premium for 100% middle class catchment state schools, or spend the cash on private tutoring to ensure entry to grammar.

My boss has 3 children - all were at private junior school. The older two have got into the grammar. He's on like half a mill at least a year... and he isn't even paying for school fees!

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 16/02/2018 16:37

Agree. My boss's DS goes to private school and she tells me his class is full of Russians and the offspring of criminals!!

MoonlightKissed · 16/02/2018 16:37

The fees for private schools have got to the point of exhorbitant now. We have a good family income, but we could not afford to send our daughter to a private school - who has 10k minimum spare a year that they don't need?

duckling84 · 16/02/2018 16:40

My dd is at a grammar school. We live in a council house and drive a cheap 7 seater because we have 5 dc. Dh and I work full time but earn minimum wage.
Even 30 years ago none of that would qualify us for private school 😂

plus3 · 16/02/2018 16:46

Hmm have 1DC at a secondary, and 1 at Grammar ...drive a Honda...does that fit your stereotype?

Allthebestnamesareused · 16/02/2018 16:47

It depends on where you are in the country. We have no grammar schools but we do have a number of good Indies whose parents are standard middle class professionals rather than super rich!

FluffyMcCloud · 16/02/2018 16:48

My son is at grammar school I can't afford a car at all I go everywhere on the bus lol

BeyondThePage · 16/02/2018 16:48

I have one at secondary and one at grammar. I don't own a car - buses all the way here.

RainbowGlitterFairy · 16/02/2018 16:57

I have one at grammar and one at private prep. There isn't a massive difference parents wise as far as I can see, the grammar school parents seem to have a bit more spare cash but then that's because they aren't paying school fees.

We live off DH's income, mine covers school fees and the seemingly never ending dress up days/bring £5 for this charity.

user1498927651 · 16/02/2018 16:59

My DS is at a grammar school. I am a single parent working full time at little over minimum wage and I drive a tiny super cheap second hand car. I've noticed that most of the parents at the school are older than me but that's about it.

Abra1de · 16/02/2018 17:00

Plenty of us at my children’s old independent schools driving Fords and Vauxhalls.

Plenty at the comprehensive driving BMWs and Audis. I know a child from there who got a contextual offer from Bristol. The family live in a lovely Victorian villa. 😀

Foslady · 16/02/2018 17:04

Yes there are some like like at dd’s Grammar, but I’m a lone parent with a just over min wage job and an eleven year old SEAT. She wasn’t hothouses to get in there either.
Ok there’s not a huge amount of lone parent children there, but there’s others on a similar economic background

Bluedoglead · 16/02/2018 17:05

One of Mine went to a grammar. None of My cars have ever cost more than £1000

Gilead · 16/02/2018 19:33

One of mine went to an Independent School. He was dropped off in our Zafira.

mountford100 · 16/02/2018 19:55

Yes the cost of private education has gone out of all proportion with everything apart from house prices !

I had a friend that left my school for Cheltenham Ladies College for sixth form in 1990 i believe the fees were around £13,000 per year. Today the fees are around £40K.

My DD no 2 year 9 has expressed a desire for a sixth form boarding experience.
I thought Ok lets see what State boarding schools charge .
I googled Cranbrook School as a possibility for DD2 and got a bit of a shock. The Boarding fees are £5,000 per term or £15,000 per year !

I imagined naively the boarding fees would be below £10,000 per year.

However, i have not given up as i have cousins in Belfast and Newry and there are girls boarding options at Victoria and Stratheran schools.

That being if the novelty does not wear off DD2.

OP posts:
Socksey · 16/02/2018 19:59

You should see our local Private School.... the occasional new car or even fancy new car..... but most are 10+ years old and many substantially more.. . Smile

dayswithaY · 16/02/2018 20:15

Criminals send their kids to private school and pay the fees in cash as it's a great way to launder money. Just sayin

hidinginthenightgarden · 16/02/2018 20:19

I went to Grammar school just a decade ago and no one had a fancy car. All working class families.

Roomba · 16/02/2018 20:24

DS is at a Grammar. I have used a food bank in the last 12 months and can't afford to run a car or get the bus, so he walks! He's eligible for FSM and got help to buy uniform. I've (shh!) had to nick loo rolls from work more than once as I didn't have enough money to buy it.

That said, our current financial issues haven't always been this way. I'd say that 'culturally' we are middle class even if my bank balance doesn't reflect this at the moment - if that makes sense? I am educated to postgraduate level, have worked in decently salaried positions previously, have travelled a lot and am widely read. Sure that helped DS's future prospects too.

Certainly a few of DS's classmates would have just gone to public schools if they hadn't got a place at this school and there are a lot of nice cars around at pick up time, plus parents who are doctors, company directors and educational psychologists. DS was really shocked in a lesson where politics was discussed and he discovered he was the only one whose parents didn't vote Conservative. But there's also plenty of others there in the same boat as us financially, looking at the school's info on FSMs, bursaries allocated and so on.

Roomba · 16/02/2018 20:26

I should also have mentioned that DS's Grammar also has state boarding places. From what he tells me, the boys who board would certainly be in private schools otherwise as they can afford it and want boarding anyway.

BertrandRussell · 16/02/2018 20:29

“Even 30 years ago none of that would qualify us for private school 😂”

It’s incredibly unusual in grammar schools too!

OP - you’re right. But many people will refuse to accept it.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 16/02/2018 20:53

My car is a company car. We can't afford private education. So yabu from this corner.

HariboIsMyCrack · 16/02/2018 21:02

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

BertrandRussell · 16/02/2018 22:28

I think you need to go back further than the 80s and 90s. I think you're right that in the 60s and 70s private school was within the reach of middle class professional people. And those are the sort of people who make up the overwhelming majority of grammar school parents.