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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People who choose not to drive

135 replies

LouJDawe · 15/02/2018 23:32

4 weeks until I drop and I have my baby shower this weekend. 3 people who I've invited (best friend, mil and nan) don't drive. This is out of choice, all have a licence but prefer to be 'driven' as cars are too expensive to run. All have text to ask what time I'm collecting them for my baby shower. AIBU in thinking if you choose not to drive it's not up to other people to pick up and drop off all the time? I don't know if I'm in the wrong because yes I invited them but surely they should find an alternate to me collecting them all as I have an 18 month old son as well as a baby shower to prepare not run around picking prople up?

OP posts:
Cheeseislife · 15/02/2018 23:33

YANBU, the absolute cheek of them!

TheQueenOfWands · 15/02/2018 23:33

Text back the number of a local taxi company.

TittyGolightly · 15/02/2018 23:34

Aren’t baby showers for second babies considered the height of grabby.........?

(Having them at all is pretty grabby.)

Aquamarine1029 · 15/02/2018 23:35

Tell them you will not be able to pick them up and to please make alternate arrangements.

chocatoo · 15/02/2018 23:35

Tell them to sort out a cab!

firawla · 15/02/2018 23:36

They need to get a taxi, that’s v rude of them to just presume lifts all the time

DingDongDenny · 15/02/2018 23:36

I might give my nan a lift since I presume she is older and might need more of a hand - but the others should sort themselves out

WineIsMyMainVice · 15/02/2018 23:39

The op wasn’t asking about the decision to have a baby shower Titty.

Are there not other people that they could have asked? How much driving will this entail for you op?

I might be able to understand your Nan, if she is old/frail asking you, but the others surely could have/should have been more considerate.

Original poster
LouJDawe · 15/02/2018 23:39

My nan lives an hour in one direction and my mil and best friend live half an hour in the other direction! I've managed to arrange a lift for my nan but my mil and best friend never ever go anywhere unless they are collected. It is very annoying lol how is having a second baby shower grabby? I've organised a really nice afternoon tea for my close family and friends, I've asked for no presents as I have everything I need just wanted to get everyone together for the afternoon to celebrate.

OP posts:
LemonShark · 15/02/2018 23:40

How odd. Are they usually entitled?

Earlyup · 15/02/2018 23:42

YANBU.

Movablefeast · 15/02/2018 23:42

Uber

RainbowGlitterFairy · 15/02/2018 23:43

YANBU. I choose not to drive. If I'm invited somewhere I don't expect a lift. I might ask other friends who don't drive or are planning to drink if they want to split a taxi/get public transport together or occasionally if its a long way and I have a friend who is driving from somewhere near me I might offer petrol money but I would never ask someone to come out specifically to collect me.

Gladiola44 · 15/02/2018 23:43

Baby showers are grabby because you are to be “showered” with presents. You know you will receive gifts even if you say no gifts. And I’ve never heard of anyone organising one for themselves, and for a second child. It should be thrown for you.

Original poster
LouJDawe · 15/02/2018 23:44

My nan had an accident when she was 20 driving and it scared her so has never driven since. My best friend doesn't drive because she has "better things to spend her money on" but does have a licence. My mil is ridiculous and very high maintenance and likes to be collected which I don't mind but she will dictate when she is going home. So if she comes for dinner she will eat and then say "ok I'm ready to go home now" and gets her coat lol

OP posts:
Original poster
LouJDawe · 15/02/2018 23:45

It is being thrown for me by 2 friends of mine. Sorry I didn't put all the minute details on because the baby shower isn't the point it was about the lift situation.

OP posts:
Earlyup · 15/02/2018 23:47

So if she comes for dinner she will eat and then say "ok I'm ready to go home now" and gets her coat lol

Even if she was actually unable to drive, as opposed to opting not to, that is rude!

TittyGolightly · 15/02/2018 23:48

I've organised a really nice afternoon tea for my close family and friends, I've asked for no presents as I have everything I need

I call my best friends “I” as well. Wink

World’s gone mad.

LipANik · 15/02/2018 23:53

All have text to ask what time I'm collecting them for my baby shower.

Just text back 'you are joking right?'

YABU for having a baby shower shower though, total grabby bollocks.

Original poster
LouJDawe · 15/02/2018 23:53

I put 'I' because again the details of the baby shower wasn't important it was about the lift so no I didn't write because my 2 friends one of which is ill and from her hospital bed organised it with our other friend who was allowed a few hours supervised out of hospital to come for this as she was unable to come to my first one and felt she missed out. Is that ok for you? Now I have explained more so no my baby shower isn't for gifts my very ill close friend and our other lovely friend organised it. Is that ok for you? Now you have all the details you need

OP posts:
Trills · 15/02/2018 23:56

Plenty of people choose not to drive but also take responsibility for themselves.

Your problem is not the not-driving, it's that you have selfish friends.

If they did drive, their selfishness would show itself in some other way.

Original poster
LouJDawe · 15/02/2018 23:58

You have hit the nail on the head, they are selfish people. I just didn't know if it was me being over sensitive and a bit teary that it got me annoyed or if they was actually being unreasonable

OP posts:
Antigonads · 16/02/2018 00:05

I ask this in the nicest possible way, but what is the point of a baby shower?

Ivymaud · 16/02/2018 00:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LipANik · 16/02/2018 00:12

For her other friend apparently.