Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

People who choose not to drive

135 replies

LouJDawe · 15/02/2018 23:32

4 weeks until I drop and I have my baby shower this weekend. 3 people who I've invited (best friend, mil and nan) don't drive. This is out of choice, all have a licence but prefer to be 'driven' as cars are too expensive to run. All have text to ask what time I'm collecting them for my baby shower. AIBU in thinking if you choose not to drive it's not up to other people to pick up and drop off all the time? I don't know if I'm in the wrong because yes I invited them but surely they should find an alternate to me collecting them all as I have an 18 month old son as well as a baby shower to prepare not run around picking prople up?

OP posts:
WhiteWalkersWife · 16/02/2018 07:54

Enjoy your shower op and tell the cfs to jog on. Make it clear you wont be giving their lazy arses a lift there or back. Because you know theyll arrive and expect a lift back

WhiteWalkersWife · 16/02/2018 07:55

And choosing to drive is fine if you get yourself a to b. Choosing not to drive and demanding lifts is unreasonable and selfish.

LightsOnNotIn · 16/02/2018 07:56

Gee, I never realised that people out there might be judging me like you judge your non- driving friends/ family. Baby shower or not, this appears to be an issue for you.

I don't drive if I can help it because: I work from home, my partner has the car to commute; I also don't have much confidence as a driver.

You say they 'prefer to be 'driven'. Maybe there's stuff you don't see. Perhaps like me they walk and cycle a lot, and use public transport. I would hate to be viewed as someone who likes to be driven places. They should definitely not ask you, small child or not.

NightRaven52 · 16/02/2018 08:02

I more Shock at the fact they're expecting you to come pick them up and presumably drop off again when you're 36 weeks pregnant!

I couldn't stand being sat in a car for more than 10 minutes at the point, let alone for over an hour.

RhiWrites · 16/02/2018 08:05

These people are cheeky and entitled to expect the guest of honour to chauffeur them about.

But OP, it’s so weird to describe YOUR baby shower as a nice afternoon you’ve arranged for other people. You said:
I've organised a really nice afternoon tea for my close family and friends, I've asked for no presents as I have everything I need just wanted to get everyone together for the afternoon to celebrate.

What’s has been arranged (by you or your sick friends) is an event for you, to celebrate you and your baby. It’s not something nice you’re doing for other people, it’s a thing people do for you. Why are you acting as though your baby shower is a treat for friends and family?

I hope it’s a nice occasion, but I think you and your family and friends all sound confused.

XiCi · 16/02/2018 08:08

This thread is absolutely fucking horrible. The OP has already said she's feeling a bit teary yet there's some nasty fuckers tearing strips into her just for having afternoon tea with friends and family before her baby is born.

OP, have a lovely time and tell mil and friend to share a taxi!

strawberryblondebint · 16/02/2018 08:09

I don't drive. I have no licence. I have never made a serious attempt to learn. Lots of reasons but it is what it is.
If I had been invited to your baby shower I would make my own way there. If no public transport I might contact another friend going and see if I could tag along. However I would always offer to go to their house first and not assume they would collect me. I would offer petrol money.
Last resort would be to ask a favour off a family member.
I would at no stage expect the party host to come and bloody get me. Entitled much???

strawberryblondebint · 16/02/2018 08:10

Oh and enjoy your lovely tea party. I'm jealous. I would love to come. Fabulous idea and ignore all the fannies on the thread being negative.

sueelleker · 16/02/2018 08:13

So it's too expensive for them to have a car, but they're quite happy to use yours?

Backenette · 16/02/2018 08:13

‘I won’t be driving - see you on saturday’

Is all you need to reply.

Yes they are cheeky.

BeyondThePage · 16/02/2018 08:29

I don't drive - it IS too expensive to have a car (for some of us). BUT, some of that money gets used to make my own arrangements - like taxis and buses.

BeyondThePage · 16/02/2018 08:29

oh, and if I can't get somewhere easily, I would decline the invitation.

Schlimbesserung · 16/02/2018 08:36

Could you say that your midwife has advised you not to drive? That way it sounds like you would, but you can't. Sooner or later you need to have a proper conversation about their behaviour but this isn't the time for it.

catlover1987 · 16/02/2018 08:45

I can't drive but I would never expect or ask for a lift. If one is offered, I will accept, but the vast majority of the time, I will use public transport and am happy to do so. I can't believe people would be so cheeky and entitled.

TheEgregiousPeach · 16/02/2018 08:58

Your baby shower sounds lovely OP, I hope you enjoy it. I love going to baby showers and making a fuss of my friends and family.
Your friend and MIL are being selfish. I might pick my nan up but I'd tell the other two to make their own way. Are they near each other and could share a taxi?

jaseyraex · 16/02/2018 09:21

That is beyond cheeky! I hope you've text back saying you won't be collecting anyone. They can get a bus/taxi/train. I don't drive and never expect picked up or dropped off unless it's offered, I never ever ask for one. Public transport is just as good! Enjoy your baby shower OP.

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 16/02/2018 09:29

@tvhearts oh yes, there have been long running threads on how toilet brushes are the work of the devil, lurking there in the corner just stewing in their poo particles and breeding mutant killer zombie bacteria that will murder us in our sleep. Or something like that.
I'm a Toilet Duck girl myself for speed and ease but apparently some people stick their own hands down the loo to clean it rather than use a mutant zombie brush. The subject of how to clean your loo appeared to get some MNers really quite riled. Nowt as queer as folk Grin

Appuskidu · 16/02/2018 09:34

What have you replied to them, OP?

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 16/02/2018 09:45

Morning, everyone. Thanks for the reports on this thread.

We've deleted a few posts that we felt were troll hunting. We just wanted to remind everyone that we ask folk to report suspicions to us, not troll hunt on the threads.

If someone is a troll it will only give them what they wanted and if they aren't, which seems to be the case here, it simply ruins the thread for the OP and everyone else. It's so much quicker to hit the report button than it is to bash out a troll-hunty message, too.

Thanks.

Aeroflotgirl · 16/02/2018 09:50

Very rude and cheeky. I failed my driving tests, and saving for more lessons, there are buses and taxies. I suggest you give them a few number to try.

phoenix1973 · 16/02/2018 09:52

No yanbu.
But accept that they may choose not to come.

Aeroflotgirl · 16/02/2018 09:53

They either sort out their own transport arrangements, or don't go. Very selfish to expect you to pick them up for your party and being heavily pregnant too, disgraceful tbh.

Yawnyprawn · 16/02/2018 09:55

I can drive but hate doing so and would always prefer to use public transport. I only take lifts from friends if they're offered and will always try and figure out my own way to get where I need to go. So yes, I think people are being unreasonable to expect you to pick them up, especially at this time. Give them taxi and bus info and let them get on with it.

Aeroflotgirl · 16/02/2018 09:55

Especially your best friend, what a selfish and entitled attitude.

youngestisapsycho · 16/02/2018 09:56

There are some right nasty fuckers on Mumsnet!
Enjoy your baby shower OP.... and tell the non drivers to get themselves a cab!