Someone At Door 😣

[spagbol11]

It’s 19.13, I’ve just put 2yo dd to bed, done all my housework, been at work all day, so about to have a lovely hot bath and someone is knocking at my door, door is locked, not expecting anyone, my dp is working nights. AIBU not to answer or even check who it is...I’m scared

All those who are lucky enough to be able to leave their doors open, who are mocking those of us who refuse to answer their door at night you're very lucky to live somewhere that means you are able to do this. Round here the advice from local police is lock your doors at all times. Don't leave a window open unless you are in the room. There have been people robbed when they've left their door unlocked or answered the door, thieves just boldly walk in and pick up the first thing they can see of any value and leave. Thank your lucky stars you live somewhere where you feel safe.

So true falang. It's such a privileged and snooty thing to look down on or laugh at people who won't answer their doors or leave doors or windows open 'oh I left the back door unlocked and went to bed gosh I'm so coolly unbothered by anything aren't I great!' nonsense.

If you'd had a neighbour try to kick the door down to get into your flat and assault you at midnight and the police refused to attend you'd pretty quickly start changing your actions to feel safe in any way you could.

And imagine someone does get burgled: 'why did you leave the door or window open? You were asking for it' or has someone get in to harm you 'gosh why on earth did you let them in/open the door to a stranger?' Etc.

Strokethefurrywall
This place... do we really have to seek validation to answer the friggin' door these days???

Humanity needs to start getting a grip.

Couldn't agree more but I think it's too late - after having read numerous threads on here about people who won't answer their phones if they aren't expecting a call or open their door if they aren't expecting a visitor, I've come to the conclusion that this place is frequented by people who have lost all sense of normality. Thank fuck the people I know in the real world are nothing like this or I would seriously top myself.

Not forgetting, no matter how bonkers the subject, there will always be one or more PP who posts that the behaviour must be due to autism, mental health or anxiety or preferably all three.

Someone knocked on the door.

It seems there's a mystery backstory that makes you reasonable (I'm not AS), but in general, all I'll say is that because my neighbour won't answer her door after dark:

-I've had the gas company knock my door at midnight and ask to use my house to shut down the gas supply, because although we gave them access earlier in the night, next door wouldn't answer the door, despite them shining torches in every window and declaring themselves, so they would have to manually disconnect the feed via our mains feed to hers, so they could fix the leak at the bottom of the road.

The next morning, said neighbour cheerfully said "Ooh did you hear about the commotion at the bottom of the road? Apparently, there's a big gas leak. They had to shut off all the gas, and they think it will be fixed by tomorrow." "Yes, Flora, I know all about it, because they had to shut your gas supply off via my house because they couldn't get you to open the door." "Oh yes, well I did hear them, but I don't answer the door after dark..."

-She's why I get knocks on my door, disturbing my dog, after my children have gone to bed, at around 9pm at night. Because Amazon have a parcel. For next door. But next door aren't answering, so could I take the parcel in? She's there, in the house, hearing the knock, knowing that a parcel is coming, and allowing me to take the parcel in instead! I can't refuse, because she takes my parcels in when I'm genuinely out.

falang that is so true. I honestly don't know what that feels like. I live in an area where I don't have to have the house doors locked during the day, and in fact a neighbour once telephoned my husband to say that our GSDX was standing outside her garden - I had accidently left the front door open a few hours before, and he'd eventually decided to take a wander along the estate and sniff a few bushes. No opportunistic crime occurred.

The back story is that OP lives next to an older woman who used to ask OP for lots of favours...

I can understand not wanted to open the door at 7. It's dark. It's not someone invited or who's called to say they'll drop in. I don't like unexpected visitors.

Last year we had a bad neighbour with bad friends. I answered the door to one of them that called at about nine. He kept me chatting at the door, talking about the neighbour being away. It was intimidating.

I get a lot of charities calling trying to get me to donate and they generally call between 6 and 7.

Let us turn it around.

Would you go knocking on people's doors?

Someone from the council came to my house today about pollarding a tree. He was trying to talk to the neighbour who has made several complaints to the council, not only about the tree. But (CF) neighbour did not answer the door though I knew he was in because I could hear him moving about and council guy said he could see someone through the window.

So, I took the opportunity to fill in the council guy on all the lies (CF) neighbour has been telling in his complaints to the council, and to say I would like the tree pollarded please (neighbour sent the tree surgeon away last week when they came to do it). He should have opened the door, shouldn't he?!

There are snowflakes aplenty on Mumsnet.........

I would if I needed to. In my previous examples, someone knocked on my door to tell me they’d hit my car and give me their insurance details. If id have hit their car, I would have knocked on their door to do the same.

Putting a card or a note in the letterbox is ok too . Chienrouge surely.

It would have sufficed, yes. But a bit of human interaction can make things easier and more pleasant. I was glad she’d taken the time to explain/apologise in person rather than a note saying ‘I smashed your bumper’.

Handsoffmysweets.

Don't blame me. Everyone has a phone now. Keep it charged up.

Easy to call 999. Come on, neigbhours like us and so on should not be made out to be awful at all really.

When I was 17, my brother (19) had a seizure. My dad was working away. He’d never had one before. I knocked on a neighbours door at midnight (their lights were on) and they came and sat with us while we waited for a paramedic, as I had panicked.
When I was 15 my best friend came and knocked on our door late at night because her step dad was beating her mum up and she didn’t know where else to go.
I can think of a lot of different examples over the years where someone has knocked on my door, or I’ve knocked on theirs, for genuine reasons.

I never open the door to someone I'm not expecting. Not because I'm scared, but because I'm not usually wearing pants people bug me.

I had an unexpected knock on the door last night. Was my neighbour telling me I'd left my car lights on by mistake. Saved me a flat battery this morning!

fiplop185

Great, but how did your neighbours know it was you. Did you not exchange numbers anyway.

I imagine they knew it was her as the car was parked on her drive?
I don’t have any of my neighbours numbers and they don’t have mine.

Why would they need my phone number when they could just knock on my door and I’d answer it?

I've never understood the not answering the door thing. My ex used to drive me nuts when the doorbell rang - he'd start panicking saying to me "who's that at the door?" I'd have to point out I couldn't see through walls and if he just answered the door he'd find out.
I remember the story of my Aunt who opened her front door very late at night to some persistent knocking. It was an extremely distressed young woman who had been attacked by her boyfriend and who she'd run away from. My Aunt took her in, called the police and sat with her until they arrived.
I've never had an issue with answering the door although I would have been nervous about opening it in the middle of the night but it's fortunate my Aunt did.

Oh it's a CF neighbour extension thread is it?

So much drama seems to go on with those threads ..

I don’t answer the door if I’m not expecting anyone. Morning, noon or night.