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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone At Door 😣

413 replies

spagbol11 · 15/02/2018 19:15

It’s 19.13, I’ve just put 2yo dd to bed, done all my housework, been at work all day, so about to have a lovely hot bath and someone is knocking at my door, door is locked, not expecting anyone, my dp is working nights. AIBU not to answer or even check who it is...I’m scared

OP posts:
TolpuddleFarterOATB · 16/02/2018 05:48

I'm currently reading a survival book by ex-SAS soldier Chris Ryan. He advises to never answer the door to anyone you are not expecting.

Redwineistasty · 16/02/2018 05:48

I left my door unlocked the other day, by accident. Was watching tv on my own in the house (dc in bed) about 9pm, and the door opened!! And a man walked in!!!
I jumped up thinking wtf!..... He then realised he’d made a mistake and was looking pretty wtf himself!
Turns out he was a paramedic, next door had called an emergency and asked to let himself in, he got the wrong house!! He was very apologetic.
Never forget to lock my door now!

EyUpLove · 16/02/2018 05:49

I went to a house with my DH and grandma who was too infirm to get out and knock on the door of an old friend where she used to live so DH got out to go and knock and let the lady know her friend was here and would she pop out to say hello...
She looked through the curtains, saw my DH and locked the door, shut the curtains and refused to answer the door.
Even after I tried, she refused to even ask who we were / what we wanted through the door!

My grandma died soon after so she missed saying goodbye and she didn't get invited to the funeral.

This is what security chains are for, get one and answer your doors ffs!

BitchQueen90 · 16/02/2018 05:56

I don't answer my door to anyone unless I am expecting someone. Everyone I know phones before they come round, I thought that was just common courtesy!

I'm not scared but I just cannot be bothered to deal with charity sellers etc.

TheStoic · 16/02/2018 05:57

This is what security chains are for, get one and answer your doors ffs.

Stick a note under the door if it’s that important. It’s not rocket science.

Slarti · 16/02/2018 06:07

I'm currently reading a survival book by ex-SAS soldier Chris Ryan. He advises to never answer the door to anyone you are not expecting.

We've hit peak snowflake.

bluebells1 · 16/02/2018 06:11

So someone was at the door and your dog didn't bark? Doesn't that mean it could be someone you know? If a stranger so much as walks too close to our fence, our dog goes ballistic.

EyUpLove · 16/02/2018 06:13

Thestoic - what good will that do?

TheStoic · 16/02/2018 06:14

Interestingly, I’ve found that ‘snowflakes’ genuinely don’t care when idiots call them names.

Jobjobjob · 16/02/2018 06:14

To the posters saying just open the door- not helpful, I have 2 children in the house and am home alone. It’s dark and I don’t want the dog to wake dd up. Can’t of been important they have stopped now.

^^so why ask AIBU and state this so early in in the thread!

Honestly the drama over a knock on he door!

We've had a late night frantic knock, from two random lads aged 20! Panicking knock from one, answered the door to a please help us, the other lying on the pavement outside our house.

He needed medical treatment sufficient to call an ambulance. They'd already knocked on a door that had refused to answer.

They needed help! One was panicking, one was hurt!

As someone up thread said, such snowflakes on mumsnet!

sanesera · 16/02/2018 06:16

For goodness sake

Rageofglitter · 16/02/2018 06:22

I never answer the door unless I am expecting someone although I will look through the window to see if I can see.

There are a variety of reasons someone might feel scared if a door is knocked unexpectedly at night.

Roussette · 16/02/2018 06:54

Did I honestly rea d upthread that they will only answer the door if an arrangement has been made by text in advance?! I'd have missed a lot in life if that were the case.

Impromptu glass of wine with neighbour, another NDN saying do you want to come outside and see my son's harley davidson and have a ride up the road (love motorbikes), emergency with another neighbour who'd collapsed in their garden etc etc.

If they'd had to make an appointment in advance with a text... well... haha...

People need to be more inflexible and impromptu... I can't be so rigid and insular.

Slarti · 16/02/2018 06:57

Everyone I know phones before they come round, I thought that was just common courtesy!

A tad hypocritical to mention common courtesy while advocating ignoring a person at your door. It might be common courtesy to ring before visiting someone but it's not outright rude to not do because some situations just happen like that. On the other hand, knowing someone is knocking at your door but choosing to sit there and ignore them, now that is rude.

Roussette · 16/02/2018 06:58

I meant.... less inflexible, not more!

Roussette · 16/02/2018 07:01

Of course if I wanted to visit a friend for a coffee and a natter and she was a drive away, I would ask her and not just turn up. If I fancied a glass of wine and crisps with a friend of an evening, I'd make an arrangement. We're not talking about that... we're talking about spur of the moment unavoidable door ringing.

Flomy · 16/02/2018 07:03

I would have put a note through the elderly ladies door as well, at the time - with a phone number etc.

HarveyKietelRabbit · 16/02/2018 07:06

There's a big difference between people who don't open the door if they're not expecting anyone and those that post about it on the internet saying they're scared that someone knocked on their door (and quickly went away) at 7.13 pm.

Snowbelled · 16/02/2018 07:07

I often knock on my neighbours as they do on mine. Usually to be given some food, a key, a misdelivered parcel, to borrow or return something. We live in a big city with a big crime rate but I refuse to live in fear. Shit has happened (burglary, kid beaten up, car broken into, child threatened with a knife) but some of that happen walking down the road and unless I stayed locked in my house forever other shit will happen. I don't want fear of crime to dictate my life.

Original poster
spagbol11 · 16/02/2018 07:13

Sorry mumsnetters yes there is a back strory, and I suffer from depression and anxiety- felt totally stupid after all the comments saying I was ridiculous. So I’m sorry for pissing you all off but in real life my heart was pounding and I didn’t dare answer the door

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 16/02/2018 07:16

Might have been worth saying that at the beginning?

Not defending your decision telling people their comments weren't helpful. You asked a question with no indication of underlying issues.

You may then not got a lot of the responses.

Original poster
spagbol11 · 16/02/2018 07:19

Sorry I didn’t realise, I should of maybe followed it on from the other thread. Didn’t mean to annoy you all.

OP posts:
Twoo · 16/02/2018 07:19

My oh my. Had do you get through life dear. Sorry this is not meant to be rude or sarcastic. I do mean, just how do you get through day to day.

Original poster
spagbol11 · 16/02/2018 07:23

I struggle, I never used to be like this I ran my own business for 7 years and was outgoing and so confident. But now every day is a struggle.

May I just say this - how I’m feeling could affect any one of you like it has done me out of the blue.

OP posts:
shinysinkredemption · 16/02/2018 07:23

Surely this isn't the first time this has happened? Unless you live in an area where people are rightly wary of unsolicited doorstep callers (I don't know anywhere like this but perhaps it exists) I'd get some help with this issue if you haven't already.