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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone At Door 😣

413 replies

spagbol11 · 15/02/2018 19:15

It’s 19.13, I’ve just put 2yo dd to bed, done all my housework, been at work all day, so about to have a lovely hot bath and someone is knocking at my door, door is locked, not expecting anyone, my dp is working nights. AIBU not to answer or even check who it is...I’m scared

OP posts:
virtualreality · 15/02/2018 21:06

List the advantages to opening your door please.

I am all ears.

Emergencies... 999

Neighbours in distress.... they have your number surely. Well we do on either side and further on in a group..

If I cannot use my phone I cannot knock on anyone else's door either.

Glittabug · 15/02/2018 21:06

A video door bell might handy for you op. My dp works away for weeks at a times, knowing that I can see and answer the door from my phone makes me feel safer.

MadMags · 15/02/2018 21:07

My neighbours don’t have my number.

Ivymaud · 15/02/2018 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Didiplanthis · 15/02/2018 21:07

I wouldn't open mine either. Live very rural and have anxiety.

theluckiest · 15/02/2018 21:08

DH answered the door last Sunday at 9.45pm. It was the bloke from over the road with a plateful of a full chicken dinner wrapped in cling film.

I shit you not. Spuds, sprouts (Confused), carrots and large chunks of tikka chicken.

I have no idea why. He's a lovely bloke. He's an Uber driver & once drove me into town. (He arrived 30 seconds after if ordered the cab - that's how I know who he is & where he lives)

Very lovely. But fucking weird. Maybe he thought we looked hungry? TBH it wasn't very nice but I tried.

We still have his plate but I'm not brave enough to knock on his door to return it, namely because I'm not 100% sure which house is his. It's between two.

Gosh, that is worth a thread in itself really, isn't it? Grin

DreamyMcDreamy · 15/02/2018 21:08

Seriously. Someone rings your doorbell. And you post it on an online forum asking what to do. Exciting.

Could say that about anything on here.All those posting about what they had for tea or that their kid has done a poo in the potty. Wooo! Exciting.

lifetothefull · 15/02/2018 21:08

Might be worth checking if you've left your car lights on.

UnimaginativeUsername · 15/02/2018 21:09

@theluckiest my guess is he fancies you.

MadMags · 15/02/2018 21:10

Doesn’t there seem to be literally thousands more people ‘with anxiety’ nowadays?

Everyone seems to have it.

I do wonder if it’s all actually diagnosed, as opposed to self-diagnosed.

Roussette · 15/02/2018 21:12
Grin
GUMBYMUMBY · 15/02/2018 21:14

Seriously. Someone rings your doorbell. And you post it on an online forum asking what to do. Exciting.

Could say that about anything on here.All those posting about what they had for tea or that their kid has done a poo in the potty. Wooo! Exciting.

No, there are some good discussions but this beggars belief.

Roussette · 15/02/2018 21:14

MadMags everyone has anxiety about something, I s'pose, but it does seem very prevalent. My new worry is about sprouts and chicken tikka on the same plate

theluckiest · 15/02/2018 21:15

Oh god, Unimaginative. That hadn't even crossed my mind Shock

I don't think that's it though- he has his wife & 5 kids & he knows I'm very married with kids too!!!

I think it was an attempt at an 'English' Sunday dinner & he wanted to share. One of his DCs waved at me across the road so maybe she had helped?

Or maybe he's trying to lure me into his sex-den with tikka and Bisto?

UnimaginativeUsername · 15/02/2018 21:18

Tikka with sprouts is an interesting approach to seduction.

Bexter801 · 15/02/2018 21:18

Don't answer,try not to be scared :) you don't owe it to whomever is at the door,to answer. If it was important,someone you care about they can phone,text,e mail,messenger,whatsapp! The police or ambulance would be banging down the door. So without any of these,I'd ignore it,sit down,chill :) x

virtualreality · 15/02/2018 21:19

Nothing to do with anxiety from me, just a fk off and go somewhere else and press their doorbell please.

What exactly is the advantage for me to answer? Someone will tell me soon.

UnimaginativeUsername · 15/02/2018 21:21

What exactly is the advantage for me to answer? Someone will tell me soon.

It might be your neighbour with a plate of tikka and sprouts.

theluckiest · 15/02/2018 21:25

Tikka might entice me.
Sprouts, not so much.

Ontheboardwalk · 15/02/2018 21:27

If someone knocked on my door now at 9.25 pm I might look out the window first but I’d open the door. I think it’s absolutely reasonable to check out who it is first. To not even check it out seems a bit strange

My neighbours don’t have my mobile number but I wouldn’t mind them knocking at my door at any time, you never know I might even open it for them.

PutUpWithRain · 15/02/2018 21:27

I'm not afraid of people knocking on my door, nor does it make me scared. I just don't fucking open it, unless someone has told me in advance 'I'll be at yours at X o'clock'. And even then, they know to text/call me if I don't answer the door.

Why? Long story. But I cannot bear the thought of having someone else in my house. I have PTSD, and a lot of it is related to feeling safe. Opening my door when I don't expect someone makes me feel very unsafe.

And for those posters who say 'only on MN do you see this' - it's a bit of a shitty thing to have to admit to. I wouldn't volunteer this information to other mums at the school gates, for example. There is only one person who knows it in real life - because they're my best friend & knocked on my door unexpectedly last week. I'd told them months ago that I don't answer my door to people I don't expect. They didn't believe me until they had to phone me to ask 'where are you?' and I could hear them talking to me on the phone outside the front door.

(and I have a spyhole. But it's a bit pointless when the door has two glass panels in it from a previous tenant)

Slarti · 15/02/2018 21:29

If someone you know is trying to get in and they don't get an answer they will surely text/whatsapp/or call you.

That seems counter intuitive to me. If I didn't get an answer at the door I'd assume they weren't in and that ringing was futile. Even more so to text and wait however long for a reply. I certainly wouldn't assume they were inside intentionally ignoring me and waiting for me to use my mobile in addition to knocking like some sort of off line two step verification.

Redglitter · 15/02/2018 21:31

Unless there's a massive back story to be scared of opening your door at 7pm seems a bit extreme. Personally I would ignore anyone at my door in the evening unless I was expecting them but that's because if I'm off in the evening I tend to be in my.pjs and generally looking like a burst couch.

FairNotFair · 15/02/2018 21:34

I knocked on my neighbour's door at about 9pm once. I hardly know him. He was pretty pissed off when he came to the door. He was a little less annoyed when I pointed out that he'd left his laptop on the roof of his car.

Bexter801 · 15/02/2018 21:41

@Slarti is that comment to me :) I would never just arrive at someone's door,without checking its ok,suits,timings cool,they're free. Unless it was a matter of urgency,so in that case I would ring,text,letting them know it's me,why I'm calling around,etc

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