to feel sorry for my friend with the eco-warrior DH?

[k2p2k2tog]

(sort of lighthearted but not really)

Very close friend is married to a professional eco-warrior. He's employed high up in a green charity and has in the past been involved in Green politics. They have two daughters of school age. Friend also works but not in the green sector, she's a nurse.

Because her DH is a dyed in the wool "knit your own lentil" person, he has to be seen to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. Nothing non-eco. They do have a car, but he cycles to work and she takes the train.

But what makes me feel REALLY sorry for her, and her girls, is that they have bought a touring caravan for all holidays. Despite the fact they're earning good money and could afford a week in the sun somewhere, they spend every holiday cooped up in a tin box so he can show what a WORTHY person he is.

They are currently in Wales. In the freezing cold and rain. In fucking FEBRUARY.

My in laws don't own a car. And I don't think my nephew will learn to drive. It's kinda sad.

A friend's husband once boasted to me about how they'd 'cut down their carbon footprint' by doing XYZ.
When l went upstairs to the bathroom, every light was on. Virtually every light in the house, as it happened. l counted them. Eighteen lightbulbs burning.
When l stayed over, l used to stay in bed til they'd all left for school (both teachers). When l got up, l'd find computer and monitor on in the 'office'. Landing light, youngest's bedroom light, bathroom light on. Downstairs, games console/tv on in the front room. Back room, tv on, light on, music centre on in the dining room. Boot room and downstairs loo lights on too.
Before l left, l'd go round the house switching lights off. lt was never mentioned, but l just couldn't leave them on in an empty house!

Shockers

Apologies. You made it clear that you were being playful and yes West Wales is indeed lovely.

Yabu.

First of all, it’s really none of your business.

Secondly, I would take a “tin box” holiday over a sunshine holiday any time of the year. I’m a winter person and love to have holidays where I can come and go as I please, and wrap myself and my hubs/kids up in blankets with hot drinks and a good book/radio program. (Except kids are grown up now so it would be me and hubs).

Have you ever thought that she actually loves it but pretends to you that she’s not into it because she might lose your friendship?

If it bothered her that much, she’d leave him or change him.

So let her be and stop judging someone because they are different to you.

Nobody really cares !! She must love him and be happy bumbling about in Wales freezing her ass off !!!
But ... this thread had just bought all the stuck up bods out of the woodwork hasn’t it !!
Sorry if a few of us dare to enjoy a nice sunny ghastly “Brits abroad” holiday !!! ..
I’ve never been camping and I thoroughly intend keeping it that way !!!
Stop being so judgy and snobby !!! .. everyone has a different ideal holiday ..

YANBU - I'd put money on their kids ending up being frequent flyers and consumers. I holidayed on campsites for my whole childhood (only thing my parents could afford) it spurred me on to earn enough money to fly wherever I want whenever I want.

British weather is AWFUL for camping and caravanning. Over a period of about 10 years and 3-6 'holidays' per year I remember 2 stand out sunny ones and can tell many, many stories of rain and storms and boredom and my parents spending every last penny trying to entertainus because we couldn't do anything outside.

It's laughable that this dude thinks a lifetime of camping is going to have any noticeable effect on the planet.

Apology accepted!

Certainly caravan holidays are very popular; the times when we've booked a holiday at a caravan they have been crowded and a lot of fun activities available. But I have to admit, I wouldn't be at all interested in a caravan holiday in February, in any location. Most holiday locations are closed down in winter, so there wouldn't be all that much available.

It's been beautiful weather here today and yest OP (Crickhowell) plus we had an earthquake today, twas thrilling , seems your friend may have had a great time despite you thinking she is massively hard done by.

The OP represents one of the worst elements in our civilisation, the brother's keeper, the person who thinks that because s/he doesn't want to do something, then no-one else should; the person who despises people who live principled lives because, probably, s/he lives by the principle of "me first", and projects her unease at her own defects on to others who take a longer and less self centred view.

I'm in Wales, it's been lovely sunshine the last couple of days, pity there is snow on the mountains and it feel like it's freezing. Looks lovely from the warmth of the indors. Lots of people seem to enjoy coming here even in the cold.

Your friend and her family certainly could have taken a ferry or erutunbel train into Europe and travelled on public transport to Spain or France and stayed in some sort or euro camp and still have been green (perhaps more so using mass transit). Poor friend

(With that said, I did visit Scotland in a February half term and loved it. Dressed prepared for weather BUT did NOT stay in a caravan)

What does he think about you being on your phone in the middle of your wales vacation?

Geordie1944 glad it's not just me who feels that way.

I like a man with principles. "Normal" people always seem to like to knock people with strong principles. I don't understand why. Does it make them feel bad somehow?

OP you don't actually seem to know whether she even enjoys these holidays. I suspect they may have bought a caravan because they enjoy it as a family. Lots of people do!

I'm not quite sure how going on holiday to Wales in a caravan in February makes you eco-friendly. There are plenty of other holidays you can have. Going abroad doesn't have to involve flying. Did they drive to Wales? The train would be more environmentally friendly. My parents don't drive & manage to go on several holiday abroad each year. They do fly but often travel by train (Eurostar) too.

Totally agree Geordie1944

Op why are you being so nasty about someone is trying to make the world a better place. If more people lived like them, the world would be a better place.

He is obviously not your kind of person and wouldn’t be mine either. However as he was like this when they met and she still chose to marry him, I don’t have sympathy for her. She might well be very happy in many ways!

Not at all sure this posturing dickhead is making the world a better place. A lot of eco-warrior types are just bullies with a superiority complex (and some kind of odd self-flagellating fetish for discomfort.)
They are often anti-science, anti-progress and, particularly if male, a whole lot too keen on the sort of 'back to nature' lifestyle that involves female subservience and pointless work, while the bloke struts around beating his chest and telling everyone how important he is.

In the case of OP's friend, buying a caravan is not actually all that eco-friendly compared to travelling by train and staying in guest-houses and hostels. I bet he's the sort of wanker who thinks it's more 'real' to park his petrol-burning road hog somewhere other than proper, designated caravan parks, so he and his family will all be shitting in the bushes, as that's 'natural'...

Not everyone wants to “go sit in the sun” as a holiday you know.

I would much rather stay in a caravan in februart than go anywhere near benidorm or majorca or any of those plces.

Yab utterly u to decide for someon else that their holiday must be shit and surely they’d far prefer to go on they type of holiday you’d choose.

Butt out.

Also, a man who insists that his family only holiday in a caravan because he 'won't stay in a hotel' is a man who is ever so keen to make sure the family holiday is no holiday for his wife, isn't he? I bet it's not him cooking the meals and entertaining the kids on the fourth consecutive day of pissing rain...

He, of course, is perfectly entitled to live his life as he sees fit. Forcing your views and practices on your family however is an entirely different matter.

Op. Has it occurred to you that they might actually like it. Nothing wrong with a caravan in February. We ski off our motor home. It is brilliant fun and not at all cold to live in. Can't think of anything worse than a week in a beach hotel in Spain. You can go a long long way on Europe without flying and you get to see places on the way

I'm laughing at a lot of replies. The prejudice seems to be against eco-warriors. I live near some (something like a commune) and they are nothing like those portrayed on this thread. They are live-and-let-live sorts and wouldn't dream of imposing their life style on others or boast, stealth or otherwise. They genuinely DO want to live in a better world. And the families I know are the most equal I've ever met: men walking babies around in papooses, bathing tots, cooking meals and so on.

When I think back to my university years, there were a great many ecology students that liked to wear their eco-credentials on their chests, but really, they were genuine. Being men and veggie 20 years ago wasn't going to get them a girlfriend. Plus they were great cooks. One couple from this time I am still in contact with are also very egalitarian: hubby took the career hit for the family, wife is now a successful lecturer at a good uni.

All anecdata I appreciate. But hopefully it'll make people think again about "eco-warrior" stereotypes.

Having a kid is by far the worst thing you can do for the planet, it’s dying under the burden of over 7.5billion humans, and western kids cause much, much, much more damage than a kid in a third world country. The anthropocene has begun, by 2050 there will already be climate refugees (millions of them), water scarcity and nothing left alive in the seas. I could go on, but this dude choosing to breed multiple offspring is the absolute worst thing he can do, so his little token gestures are just embarrassing himself, like sticking a wee sticky plaster on the San Andreas fault and patting yourself on the back.